14 year old daughter things she can do what she wants

sickandtired · Newbie Joined: 25 Aug 2006 Posts: 1

My 14 yr old daughter had an abortion earlier this year. She just has an attitude where she feels she can and should be allowed to do what she wants. She would rather hang in the streets with friends, stay as far away from home as she can whenever she gets the chance. She is lazy in school and at home when she is there. She has a job but just wastes her money. She is so caught up in being cute and boys that she makes me dislike her. I set boundaries then she gets an attitude - many times I go back on what I say. She thinks her other sibling is treated better than her - he is younger. She says things that no one spends time with her and that she feel like she is just "out here by myself". She is angry because the relationship with the baby's father has been cutoff by us. She is sneaking, lying and who knows what else. Help.

dumbdad · Newbie Joined: 05 Nov 2006 Posts: 12 Location: uk

Hi,
My 14yr old stepdaughter is very similar, she did not have an abortion but did have to have a few pregnancy tests. She thinks she should be out with her freinds whenever she feels like it. Sometimes its not her friends though. She met a 21yr old lad through a friend and went of in his car, where they had sex!

I'm so f@#$^&* angry about it all. She shinks she's growen up and smart, well if she was that smart then how come once this lad had had his way with her he dumped her, and she had to take a pegnancy test, thats not what growen up people do.

I'm getting really stressed just writting about it now :O(

Should i go and tell the police, if i do both she and her mother will probably never speak to me again, and i know the daughter will try and protect this f@#$^&* peodphile as she thinks he's done nothing wrong!

her mother thinks as her daughter and this man have split up then everything is ok. What about the next one that she goes off with!

Some teenage girls are beyond stupid and selfish

amb12387 · Newbie Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 72

If you set guidelines and rules DO NOT GO BACK ON THEM. If you do she will think she can get away with anything and she will get a lot worse. I was like your daughter when I was 14-16. I was hanging out with the wrong people, being lazy in school (eventually I started skipping school), I broke the law and got put on probation, I was sneaking out of my bedroom window to meet a much older guy. He was 22 and I was only 14. I was running from the cops. I got sent to juvi for breaking my probation rules. I was stealing money from my parents to buy drugs. I was headed down the wrong path. When I was 15 I ran away from home for a week and was staying with the 22 year old man I was talking about earlier, who had turned 23. Some of his friends came over and we all got drunk. The man I was with passed out and one of his friends gave me some kind of pill. I was stupid enough to take it and the man raped me and did other terrible things to me. That still wasn't enough to teach me. When I was 16 I quit school and started hanging out with some new people who were also on drugs. I almost got shot when I was hanging out with those people. We were in a car and one of my friends was trying to run from the cops. He jumped in the car on my lap and was trying to reach the gas pedal with his foot to take off. We were in the passanger seat and our other friend was in the drivers seat and he kept hitting the brakes when Ty tried to take off. The bail bondsman who Ty had been fighting with thought that Ty would try to run him over if he could get the car going so he shot him in the leg. Ty's leg was right on top of mine so if the bondsman had been a cm. off he would have shot me instead of Ty. I was also very mean to my mom. We'd get in arguments and I would hit her. I met a new boy and moved in with him and he hit me A LOT. I lived with him for 8 months and got tired of being hit so I moved back in with my parents. I did straighten up. I quit using drugs and I stopped hanging out with those people. About 2 weeks before I turned 17 I met this really great guy and I've been dating him for almost 3 years now. It will be three years in January. I moved in with him about 2 years ago. I've patched my relationship with my mom up. I call her everyday and visit her every time I get the chance. It took me a long time to starighten my life out. I regret everything I did back then. DO NOT LET YOUR DAUGHTER OFF THE HOOK. You don't want her to do the same things I did. She could get raped, shot, or even end up dead. Make rules and make them stick. If she doesn't listen to you call the cops on her. That might be hard to do, but sometimes tough love is the best kind. She may say she hates you if you make her obey you, but her hate won't last forever. You have to protect your daughter from making the same mistakes I did. Trust me, one day she will thank you. I'm sorry I went on and on. I just want you to understand the things that may happen to your little girl if she doesn't straighten up. Don't let those things happen.

LadyStorm · Posted: 11/19/06 - 20:54 Post subject:

Im 14 and i know the feeling of adults treating siblings better then us u should treat her equally and you should punish/ground her in a decent way. (Dont hit her that isnt gonna solve anything gonna make things worst possibly lead to suicide or something)And why did u let her get an abortion thats bad u know u should of given the baby to a couple who cant have babys and let em adopt it ....bad mmommy !!!!!!! Mad

dumbdad · Newbie Joined: 05 Nov 2006 Posts: 12 Location: uk

thankyou for your advice Amb12387,

Sounds like you had a shit life while you where a teenager Sad

, I'm glad thing have taken a change for the better for you. Smile

I've had a big chat with my gf (and then an argument, but then we sorted it out) and she has now decided to set some more rules up for her daughter. We dont let her out with her firends unless we know them, and she's not allowed to have a boy friend unless me or my gf have met him face to face. She has set times to be in and is not allowed out on school nights for any reason what so ever.

This older lad she was obsesed with is moving away from the area now (Thank god!).

I'm going to try and be more freindly to her as it occured to me she has never really had a good male role model. (Her real dad left when she was 6). I'm going to try and spend time with her a bit more, ie. go shopping with her (she can help me pick her mother a x-mas present) and go to places like McDonalds, or the arcades and stuff. Hopefully she will like me a bit more and trust me enough to respect my views., and for me to respect her feelings and views too.

Well thats the plan anyway.

amb12387 · Newbie Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 72

That is probably a good start. Spending time with your girlfriend's daughter will help her be comfortable with you. If she is comfortable with you she will probably listen to you more and understand that when you don't allow her to do something it is only because you care about her and you don't want to see her get hurt. Yeah, all teenagers need a good male role model as well as a female one. Good luck with her. I think she will come around once she gets to know you a little more and has trust with you. Just let her know that you are there for her and that she can always talk to you about anything no matter what.

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So your daughter was masturbating who cares i bet u do it when u have sex so get off her case

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if i were you, i would set ground rules, and if she got an attitude when you told her the rules i would smack her.
Set her in line.

ed446 · Newbie Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 50

14 year old daughter things she can do what she wants

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