16 years old and 4 Weeks Pregnant

bright · Newbie Joined: 13 Oct 2004 Posts: 12

Hi. I am only 16 years old. I am also 4 weeks pregnant. I feel very depressed and lost. My boyfriend left me. I am not even sure that he is the father. What to do? I am considering abortion.

mcspadden · Newbie Joined: 28 Jun 2005 Posts: 11

Hi. I am 17 and last year I had an abortion. It was awful and now I think my decision was wrong. But, you are now all alone in this and the choice is yours. If you decide to have an abortion you must know abortion time is limited (8 weeks I think). You are very young to be a Mom, but many girls have kids. Most of them are single too. Nobody in my family knows anything. It`s not so bad to have a baby. Why not? What is the right age for that? You can have kids in your 20s, 30s… Why not now?

ImmortalOne · Gold Member Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Posts: 437

I was 16 yrs old when I found out I was pregnant with my 1st daughter. I won't lie, it is a long hard road to being a parent, especially a single teen parent. He father split when we found out, and now she's 14 years old. Sometimes over the years I've wonder if her life wouldn't have been better if she'd had a family that adopted her (I almost did give her up for adoption).

But I look at her now and I am amazed how wonderful it has been being a parent. I have heard a lot of women say they regret abortion, for me it wasn't an option that I would even consider even when I was 16. Whatever your decision, remember that your choosing the lives of not just yourself but the baby as well. It can be the time of your life, especially if you have support from your family or friends, and in 10 years people won't even care that you were a teen mother as long as you finished school and you've taken care of that child.

But I finished high school on time with the help of my family, and I hold a great job now that keeps me off the welfare system forever. I have another child who is 9 and one more on the way, and a wonderful man that loves all 3 of us even if my daughters aren't his (my 2nd child is from a failed marriage and this baby is his.) I might be what some call a "rare" success story, but I know many teen mothers who have done great. I've also known some that had abortions or adoptions and the only ones that I've heard voice real regrets are the ones that have had abortions.

If you need anything please feel free to message me, my private e-mail is *****

**this post is edited by moderator ** private e-mails not allowed **

helpisontheway · Veteran Joined: 01 Jul 2006 Posts: 755 Location: England

you have to do what is best for you and the child.

do you have an income? any money to feed or clothe the child?
will you be able to look after a child and finish education?
what job will you get? can you emotionally support the child?
are you healthy enough to give birth? no blood or heart conditions?

now is the time to have a long hard look at your life. and whats best for you.

an abortion can be performed up to 22 weeks into pregnancy, some clinics will have it 24 weeks in.

Not 8, mcspadden is probably reffering to the chemical abortion. which can be done up to 8 weeks, thats just a simple case of taking a dosage of pill that causes a miscarriage, if you leave it longer then you will have to have a surgical abortion.

if you do decide this, the first step is to make a doctors appointment.

whatever desicion you make: good luck.

Carifairy · Veteran Joined: 16 Apr 2006 Posts: 2723

YOU should do what you want to do... ABORTION will not affect your future fertility, and you will still have time to have a family later if you choose.

Do what is right for you.

ImmortalOne · Gold Member Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Posts: 437

Everyone is giving her the Abortion information... How about the Adoption information? How about the information on being a teen mother? How many people are ready to have children when they do?

When exactly is "financially", "mentally", "emotionally" stable classified? When you have your own home, car?

For adoption options look at adoption.com

For teen mother information teenmoms.ourfamily.com seems to be a pretty alright place.

The point is there are always resources and there are always places for information for those of us like yourself (former and currently) in your position.

Again, if you need to talk to someone feel free to message me.

Oh and Abortion Goddess, Cairfairy?, tell that to the many women whom have had abortions when they were young and cannot have children now... I'd like to see you tell them they are wrong when they have medical proof.

Carifairy · Veteran Joined: 16 Apr 2006 Posts: 2723

MY mother was ready to have me..

You can be ready to have children.

I can give you 20+ studies from HARVARD, emory university, and every major medical school that shows that infertility problems do not come from UNCOMPLICATED ABORTION.

ILLEGAL unsterile abortion causes infertility due to scarring.

ImmortalOne · Gold Member Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Posts: 437

Sterile or not, I am not going to argue the fact. I've known women whom have had surgical abortions who not only regret it, but now, 15 years later have no choice but to adopt because of scarring caused by an abortion.

To be honest, again, all I suggested is to stop posing abortion as some rose colored wonderful thing. It isn't for every woman, there -are- other options, and you have been allowing your personal line of work to interfere with your advice. She needs all the information she can get on ALL of her options, not just the one that makes abortion clinics money.

I frankly feel that you, Carifairy, are a great example as to why abortion shouldn't be legal. After all 3 abortions are not mistakes, that is using it as a form of birth control. Then again I suppose the fact that you have been able to have 3 abortions should be enough to show this young lady that, no it doesn't ALWAYS interfere with fertility... however, there are those women out there who will say otherwise from first hand experience.

And "uncomplicated"... so, anything over 8 weeks that doesn't mimic a natural abortion, gotcha.

a_l_daigle · Newbie Joined: 25 Dec 2006 Posts: 63

Carifairy · Veteran Joined: 16 Apr 2006 Posts: 2723

Uncomplicated abortion refers to an abortion that is done without an infection, which is the #1 reason for infertility after aboriton.

I support adoption, I support ANYTHING the woman wants.

She said she is considering abortion, why should I not give her info on abortion. There is so much info about parenting and adoption, that if someone needs info about abortion, then I will give it them.

Adoption, abortion, and parenting are all PERSONAL choice with their own risks and emotional issues, I bleieve in letting a woman decide.

16 years old and 4 Weeks Pregnant

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