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juicy_duff_1987
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Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 21
Location: Australia
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 Posted: 03/15/07 - 03:02 Post subject: Christian Abortions.. |
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Well im 17 nearly 18 and my boyfriend is just turned 17..
We are both christians which mean we shouldn't of had sex in the first place but now that we have i became pregnant..
He doesnt want it for the reason his parents will dis-own him and will kick him out if they find out..
My family on the other hand are the oppisite.
I want the baby but he doesn't..
Im really stressed and dont no what to do..
I dont believe in abortions because im christian but he wants one..
I just dont no what to do!!!! |
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angel baby
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Joined: 01 May 2006
Posts: 134
Location: Washington
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| Posted: 03/15/07 - 10:10 Post subject: |
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| You know what it is your body. You are the one that should choice what it is you really want. Your gonna be the one going through all the changes not him. If you want to keep the baby then you should. if you have support from your family then the hell with your bf. Not to be mean. Bt i was 16 when i got pregnant with my daughter and 17 when i had her. she is my world now. She is going to be 3 in may. And me and my bf are still happily together for about 5 yrs now. And we are hoping to have our 2nd child soon. I say just do whatever is in your heart. If you decide to keep it tell your bf that it was your choice and if he doesnt want anything to do with it then he can leave. it will be his loss. If he does leave it just shows you that he isnt all that serious with you. Best regards to you.. |
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ImmortalOne
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Joined: 05 Jan 2007
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| Posted: 03/15/07 - 11:24 Post subject: Re: Christian Abortions.. |
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If you do not want the abortion, then do not have it. If he is going to leave because you don't have one, then he would leave afterwards, these are the unfortunate statistics. Even grown men leave when the stress gets to be too much, so there is never a promise that he will stay, so don't count on that.
If his parents kick him out, the law in the USA states they have to pay child support for him (to him) till he is 18 years old, and any welfare office that you and he could apply to will aid with that. Also, parents might surprise you sometimes, and of course sometimes they just lack the unconditional love that parents should have. He needs to talk to his parents (don't do it for him, only with him if he asks).
Even for older men and women the first news of being pregnant is scary, however when you hear that first heartbeat or you see that first ultrasound, it can change you. If you want this baby, then keep it. I will not lie to you, it will be extremely difficult and will change your life, but you can do it with or without him. Don't sacrifice yourself and your child because you think he might still love you if you do what he wants. And no matter what happens DO NOT stop your education, that is the best thing you can give to your baby.
I was a teen mother as well, 16 when I got pregnant and 17 when my daughter was born. She is now 14 years old and I swear she hung the moon. I also have a 9 yr old daughter and am pregnant now with #3. I'm in a steady secure relationship (we have had to move our wedding date back because of finances) but he accepts my daughters as his own and it completes my family. |
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juicy_duff_1987
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Joined: 15 Mar 2007
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Location: Australia
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| Posted: 03/15/07 - 22:24 Post subject: Re: Christian Abortions.. |
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| ImmortalOne wrote: |
If his parents kick him out, the law in the USA states they have to pay child support for him (to him) till he is 18 years old, and any welfare office that you and he could apply to will aid with that. Also, parents might surprise you sometimes, and of course sometimes they just lack the unconditional love that parents should have. He needs to talk to his parents (don't do it for him, only with him if he asks). |
But we live in Australia..
His parents have already told him that he has been raised well if he stuffs up once he is out..
He is really scared about telling and said he will never cause he is to ashamed.. Its only a baby, his mum was a young mum 16 and my mum was a young mum 17 and they did just fine for them selfs i dont no why she has to worry so much.. Yeh its gonna change our life ALOT.. but its not going to ruin it.. |
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juicy_duff_1987
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| Posted: 03/15/07 - 22:26 Post subject: |
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| angel baby wrote: | | You know what it is your body. You are the one that should choice what it is you really want. Your gonna be the one going through all the changes not him. If you want to keep the baby then you should. if you have support from your family then the hell with your bf. Not to be mean. Bt i was 16 when i got pregnant with my daughter and 17 when i had her. she is my world now. She is going to be 3 in may. And me and my bf are still happily together for about 5 yrs now. And we are hoping to have our 2nd child soon. I say just do whatever is in your heart. If you decide to keep it tell your bf that it was your choice and if he doesnt want anything to do with it then he can leave. it will be his loss. If he does leave it just shows you that he isnt all that serious with you. Best regards to you.. |
So True..
I really dont want to get rid of it.. and my mum says that it is always easier to keep.. She was in the same problem as me now at my age and she kept me..  Were both glad so i think im going to keep it..
Im just a little scared of what people in my church will think of me being a single unwed mother its very scary |
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juicy_duff_1987
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| Posted: 03/18/07 - 00:18 Post subject: |
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We broke up.. and he wants nothing to do with it..  |
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Carifairy
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| Posted: 03/18/07 - 00:53 Post subject: |
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Men can do that, they leave anytime they want, but then you are stuck picking up the pieces of life.
This is why birth control or condom use during sex is VITAL, and you learned a hard lesson... THAT men can leave anytime, so in the future you must protect yourself.
Hvaing a baby does not make men stay, and it does not bring more love. |
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juicy_duff_1987
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| Posted: 03/18/07 - 00:55 Post subject: |
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Yeh I no it my fault.. But we were happily in love i didnt think he would change his mind so quickly about the whole thing..
Owell im stuck with our baby but i dont really mind cuz its what i want!! |
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ImmortalOne
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| Posted: 03/18/07 - 06:06 Post subject: |
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| juicy_duff_1987 wrote: | Yeh I no it my fault.. But we were happily in love i didnt think he would change his mind so quickly about the whole thing..
Owell im stuck with our baby but i dont really mind cuz its what i want!! |
Juicy, depending on the state you are in (I know California does it), you can apply for child support for the baby now. Do not forget to do this, and don't let him "off" for it. Raising a child is expensive for couples, it is ten times harder as a single parent, and even if it's something small it helps greatly. As a single teen mother for many years, I regret a little not making my eldest daughters father pay support, but then it ended up for the best for several reasons. ALSO! He doesn't want to tell his parents, applying for child support and things of that nature, if he is under 18, often (again depending on the state) means that his parents become financially responsible for that child till the father is 18.
Afford him the rights he is entitled, and when you get an ultrasound done try to invite him, if he doesn't go perhaps send him one of the many pictures they usually can print out.
Also, do not take this totally on yourself. It isn't entirely your "fault", this is something that took 2 people to create and a situation that 2 people get themselves into, not just one. If you need anything feel free to contact me. |
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lty_patt
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Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 197
Location: Little Rock, AR USA
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| Posted: 03/20/07 - 08:27 Post subject: |
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a man who walks out on his child and it's mother never really loved her. you can take care of this baby by yourself. if your parents are willing to help you and you want the baby, have it.
YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN TO RAISE YOUR BABY WITH YOU. IT IS YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD. So many couples who want to have a baby more than anything can't get pregnant. they spend all this money and time trying to have a child and can't.
Being a christian you should know this, having a baby is a blessing not a curse. if you want it, keep it. |
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