phillyjoepj
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Joined: 08 Dec 2006
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 Posted: 12/08/06 - 12:20 Post subject: self judgement and addictive behaviors |
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| Often, an extreme case of addictive behavior and Self-judgement is evidence of Early Childhood Traumas, where the child's caregivers did NOT accept the child as who he/she was, nor engage in the child's real emotional needs of that phase of his/her developmental phase. Rather, the caregiver wanted specific performances and the child was judged "bad" if he/she didn't fulfill the expectation. Later in life, the child-now-adult continues with the "parent-pleasing" behavior except that at this age, the child-now-adult has fused with and incorporated his early childhood's abusive caregiver-authority-figure, and the child-now-adult condemns, shames and punishes him/herself, even though the parent is no longer present. The unanalyzed child-adult will forever remember and react to the "shaming" he/she received early in life, and will always try to avoid it. This adaptation does not yield "normal" pleasure. The adult-child now resorts to sneaks and "shortcuts" to experience pleasure: over-eating, compulsive sex, porn addictions, drugs, violent fantasy, addiction to violence, cyclical rage attacks, binge-behaviors, etc. The momentary release from the onus of always being the "good-boy", is pleasurable. But, the pleasure associated with that bad-boy, acting-out, "shameful" behavior puts him back in the crosshairs of his internalized abusive parent. It verges on an internal sadomasochist pleasure cycle. This also explains serial killers, 95% of whom came from abusive childhoods. After the "release", then the afflicted goes back to shaming him/herself until the next "release" action, taking drugs, being violent, over-eating, sex-fling, cleptomania, etc. |
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