tiredanduninspired
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Joined: 22 Jul 2008
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 Posted: 07/22/08 - 16:57 Post subject: Complete emotional breakdown |
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Hello. (I'm 15 btw)
Recently I have been getting more and more depressed about my life.
This is what sparked it off:
I am completely in love with this girl who I have known for about 2 years, and apparently she was in love with me (this was a couple of weeks ago) Then out of nowhere she tells me she has a boyfriend now and that's it. It completely crushed me when she told me. I actually didn't know what I was going to do because I knew this had consequently ruined our strong friendship but I really didn't want it all to end this way. I've tried to plan to meet up with her but she always tells me she has other plans. We used to be really close and now it's just all gone. I actually can't imagine life without her and I really don't know what to do.
Now, this issue got me thinking about the rest of my life.
How I am failing in school.
I have very few friends, and only 1 who I ever see outside off school which is kinda depressing if you put it all into perspective.
I have self-harmed in the past and have had those kinds of thoughts on many occasions.
I don't want to kill myself, heck that's the last thing I want to do. But I really don't know what to do anymore. It's feels like my life has lost all meaning.
Also, I cannot fix these problems as I think I may have some sort of social anxiety disorder, and so as you can imagine, it is very difficult for me to meet new people/meet friends/go to parties etc/meet girls/do anything which requires social interaction. Which is also horrible.
You may think that this shouldn't get in the way of being social, but trust me I cannot do it. I've tried..and failed.
Also, I have summer holidays now for 6 weeks.
And all I can imagine myself to do is sit at home and do nothing at all.
I really would like to be out having fun, but:
A. I can't bring myself to do it
B. I have no one to go have fun with.
I really don't want to waste my life, because despite any problems I have emotionally, I have a good life. Sucks that I hate it so much.
I'm just sick and tired of just lazing around the house, doing nothing and being bored out of my skull. And then any opportunity I get to sort out my life I just ruin it.
Anyway, thank you to anyone who responds to this. Any help/advice is greatly appreciated |
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