Depersonalization and permanent anxiety after smoking weed!

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EACH TO THEIR OWN BUT DONT BE CLOSED MINDED...I BEEN SMOKING SINCE 14 And i am 26 so i been smokin longer than u and felt the same way u did at ya age who knows how the brain works..maybe next year or 4 or 5 years from now this shit will catch up to and u will know what the hell people are feeling...they are very real...or maybe u wont..but dont ever call these feeling and problems with weed propaganda..thats just ignorant!!

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TMac42042 · Newbie Joined: 29 Oct 2007 Posts: 2

I used yo smoke weed daily, i had experiences just like all of you guys. I fought a mental war for a few months, thinking i'm never going to smoke again. Today i won the battle, and the war. Keep your heads up fellow smokers who think they can't. Use your mind, you can do amazing things. Don't think about the anxiety... at all

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I have had the exact same issue, I feel so wierd and don't know what to do, it happened to me after one night of smoking and having a panic attack. I just pray that it goes away. It is hard for me to go to work and just make it through the day. Well good luck guys because I don't know how much longer I can take this. Jason

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Ah, I'm glad I have found this forum as I have some words of advice. I smoked weed all day, every day (atleast 2 grams a day) for 3 years and quit 4 months ago. I was freaked out as shit when I first quit too. You will soon come to understand this. You have been medicating your body for however many months/years, giving yourself a false illusions of happiness and bliss. While I LOVED smoking every minute of those years, I have realized that it only makes you think your happy. I have suffered with and still am suffering, to a much lesser degree as I'm seeing progress, with the consequences of smoking for the time since I quit. I have been going through the dp/dr and anxiety for the past months, thinking I have "fried" my brain and that I will never return to what I was. I will tell you that things do get better. I have been noticing progress recently. It may plague you for a while, and it definetely feels like there is no way out. I will tell you, though, that you will come to a conclusion that these feelings are harmless. you need to know that thoughts and emotions are harmless, they are simply thoughts. reality has not changed. Although your perception may be screwed up for a while, it will get better, the feelings will subside, and you will carry on. Just be strong, do not be afraid of what cannot harm you and know that things will get better. I had thoughts of it being too rough and felt like giving up, but it is finally getting better. Its a tough choice to quit smoking pot, It took me countless tries of deciding I was going to quit. But I did it, cold turkey after years of smoking, with the support of my family. Even those that think smoking is the answer to life, everyone comes to a point in their life when they no longer need the weed. It becomes pointless. So don't think the only way out is to smoke. educate yourself if your feeling hopeless and feel glad. You have made a good decisions, and many more are to come. - Matt

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This thread is such a relief to me because I'm going through the same thing. 4 months ago in late December, I smoked pot for the first time. I felt a small bout of what I'm going through now (DR) but thought nothing of it and for the next 2 days, I was stoned beyond all belief. As a result of my stupid actions, I have a very severe case of anxiety and DR, which is also accompanied by something known as HPPD (Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder). It makes my DR even worse and it's just terrible.

From what I understand and from the months my thoughts have been racing, I've figured out that it all depends on who you are and how your brain/body treats substances. That is why we, the ones that have DR/DP with HPPD and a few other problems go through what we do. That's also why many don't understand what we're talking about until it finally happens to them. I'm now such a deep thinker because of this whole entire issue that my own thoughts scare me. A few of these would be questioning why we exist and then reasoning how and why.

This thread inspires me and I'm going to try and ignore my symptoms. I'm sure they'll go away eventually, but this whole entire time I've been dwelling on them and "checking on my status" to the point where I'm driving myself mad. Don't feel alone guys. The world is real. We're real, we're all here reading these posts. Just know that you're not the only one. This thread is such a great thing for me to read. I wish you all good luck. I'll come back here very often to see if anyone posts. Smile

anonomatt · Newbie Joined: 16 Oct 2007 Posts: 1

not a single solitary day goes by where i don't regret smoking weed in my life. not a single solitary f@#$^&* day.

it was 7 months ago since i last had - i had a cookie a friend made.. which triggered a serious release of "too much pleasure juice" and I felt flashes in my brain and was stoned for 2 days. I freaked out that day and it really f@#$^&* sucks since then. Have had dp/dr whatever you want to call it. Sex drive low, memory trouble, little hope, almost living in silence, loss of intensity. here but not here. observing from outside. people don't seem too aware of any changes in me tho. and i have been able to move countries and get a good job, flat while this is all going on.. which i find absolutely shocking.

anyway... it really f@#$^&* sucks and. i f@#$^&* hate it. f***. so stupid. so f@#$^&* stupid. i really believed all the reverse propaganda that weed is good for you.. opens your mind.. boosts neuro growth. but to me it appears some people can take it and some can't. kinda like some people are allergic to peanuts and can die if they have, and for others, it's good for you. it seems. seems weed depersonalization is fairly rare, but with the amount of people out there who have tried pot, it makes it fairly common, and i can't believe how many posts i've read here and on other forums about this exact topic. i do strongly believe however, that if you're a regular smoker of weed, you will become more distant than if you hadn't.. no matter what. weed is not gonna make you more "in touch" I don't care how many "marijuana is good for the brain" studies they do.

f***. it comes and goes, it comes and goes, but i never feel solid, or all together, and i don't see how it can come back, and all the time i'm just hoping it will come back, but it never seems to and it's been so long. and i'm tired of living life in a distant slumber, while everyone else is living life and having fun (or so it appears, or that's how it appears to me). the most in touch i feel is when i ball my eyes out to be honest. which i enjoy.. only do it from time to time tho... and am doing at present.

now i guess i should give out a message of hope.. because i hate being a downer. see this right here right now.. this message.. it surprises me that i write this, but then the surprise is distant, so does it surprise me? anyways it "surprises" me that i still want to give you a message of hope.. cos I don't feel any satisfaction.. but it must be known that I don't feel much dissatisfaction either. if you catch my drift.

what i will say. first, one message i could give, is that if you're feeling any of this i can totally 100% relate and there are lots of others out there too. there is hope out there. seems as tho some people have beat it. and i have moments where i am happy! i think i do.

well.. i wish you all the best and i would advise some sort of spiritual/religion thingy (seems to help), whatever floats your boat, with exercise - again whatever floats your boat (soccer, tennis, squash, gym, jogging, cycling, skating.. something with a partner would be great), healthy diet and conversation with friends/psychologists to help you through, in fact a psychologist/psychiatrist should be your first point of call... but i guarantee you all of that will help !

love to all.

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i used to be a big smoker, then one time when i smoked i got extremely paranoid. it was like i was aware of my consciousness and i could almost see how my life was gonna play out. i started thinking weird things like "i'm not really living life, i'm living a memory". like how a week from now, where i'm at right now will seem insignificant, or how you can never really be in the present because as soon as you think about the exact present moment (like this exact second), that moment has already passed and become the past. it felt hella weird. then i smoke one more time a week after and the same thing happened. then i quit for a year, smoke this recent 4/20, hoping those two times a year ago were just a phase and i'd be able to smoke weed again. but the feeling came back yet again.

the first time, the feeling and thoughts of consciousness went away after about 3 days, same was the second time. this recent 4/20 it went away after about 2 hours.

just let some time pass, if you've quit for a month and you still have them, then i feel bad for you cause i know how bad it sucks and how it's very hard to describe the feeling. just let time pass and it should go away.

abraxas · Newbie Joined: 02 May 2008 Posts: 1

Firstly I want to say I am so relieved to find other people with a similar struggle with pot. I searched google for "How to reverse permanent pot damage" and was led to this page.

I feel this is extremely helpful, sharing personal insights and struggles with marijuana, and as such, I am compelled to share my story.

so here we go...

Pot affects people differently, some can smoke their entire lives and live a healthy productive life. This, I've come to realize, is not me.

I have been smoking marijuana since I was 16 and now I am 23. I consider myself an artist and at the time I started smoking it was great, it helped me creatively, A stress reliever, made video games, music, movies more engaging... over time it grew into a much more menacing presence in my life. It encouraged self loathing, self doubt, made me feel dumber, over analyzing things, ruined promising relationships, paranoia, isolation. I became a heavy recluse, it affected my work, my education, my skills as an artist. Nowadays I don't do much, if any, artwork. And this makes me feel useless. Thats a big one in general, typically I feel like without purpose and feel severely useless. My passions in life feel like they are mere shadows of what they used to be. Confronting these feelings is nothing new. I'd say since 2004/05 I have quit and come back full circle atleast 3-4 times (memory not so good). Every time i'd stop, I'd make sure i'd exercise, practice zen spirituality, socialize more and in general make the best of my life, heck at some point I got a tattoo on my arm reading "Love your Life", and life would be GREAT (temporarily), I'd become the incredibly positive and inspired person, and then I'd crash again due to some variant of heavy stress, I'd cave in, and like an alcoholic, I'd succumb to my vice and start smoking again. And all the progress I'd make would dissolve to nothing. In the beginning it made me feel better. Relieved stress. Then it'd snowball into a full blown dependency. Adding salt on the wound of pre-existing problems that I'd keep putting off.

This pattern, makes me feel like I'm bi-polar, I'd be a depressed wreck for a few months, and then I'd be a self-help positive minded person for another few months, then repeat. Like I said, I quit 2 days ago, and this time more than ever, I don't want to repeat my errors. I already feel enough guilty for wasting years of my youth and potential. I suppose its a blessing to build yourself up again than to remain torn on the ground.

I'm taking advice from a few posts, and am going to find supporting figures to aide me, I'm even considering Narcotics Anonymous or a psychologist to talk to (generally very against psychologists, but I think having someone to talk to without feeling guilt or shame is crucial). Simply writing this post has been incredibly helpful in itself.

I heavily resonate with (most) all your thoughts expressed in this thread. They help flesh out the root of my own problems, thus aiding my personal rehabilitation. We are each others support group. Atleast thats how I felt when I read your posts... supported. Thank you, and please, keep updating your current position in your battle and add new insights in this thread.

Thank you all again.

Depersonalization and permanent anxiety after smoking weed!

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