Don't be telling 16 years old it is okay to have sex

a mother · Newbie Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 2

This isn't about me, but I just read one of your articles about a girl not being a virgin anymore at the age of 16 years old. I don't know Dr. if you have any children or not, but I didn't like your answer. I realize what was done, couldn't be re-done and she should go and talk to her mom, but telling her she shouldn't be ashamed is just wrong. We all do things we shouldn't do, and I felt like you just told her it is okay to have sex, just be careful. We learn from our mistakes. What if her boyfriend is just using her for sex? What if see gets pregnant? What if she gets something that she will have to live with for the rest of her life? Being 16 years old, she isn't grown up and she can't think like a grown up. Are you going to be there for her when her boyfriend has had enough and wants to move on to another girl. I think we should help our children, boys or girls, to understand sex isn't something to take likely. Marriage is the place for sex. Not just because YOU THINK YOU LOVE THEM. At 16, you have a lot of feeling and they come and go. Girls get hurt very easy. Loosing being a virgin can be painful. Not only is it scary, it hurts the first time and it hurts several times after. I know with me, if felt like a knife cuting me into. Girls want to be excepted by boys. Don't make it seem like it is okay at age 16. Mad

If they do have sex early, be there for them and help them to go and tell their mom, but don't make it seem like their mom should be happy to share the joy. Mom's should try and be understanding, because what has been done is done and you can't change it. I do feel like your message to this young girl could've been very confussing to her. Sad

crzyfl · Veteran Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 1158

I personally agree that 16 is too young to be having sex, but this forum is here to answer questions that people have - not to pass judgement.

If a 16 year old has decided to have sex and has questions about something then I will try to answer her question, I will always recommend safe sex, but the decision whether to have sex or not is her choice.

Carifairy · Veteran Joined: 16 Apr 2006 Posts: 2714

Okay would you rather have a 16 year old knocked up and at the abortion clinic scared? Or with educated answers from people who care? I WORK for planne dparenthood! MANY MANY 16 year olds are having sex unregretably, and ask for birth control and condom information! BY WITHOLDING information we are only risking upping teen pregnancy and STD rates.

Oh and yeah I AM a healthcare professional...

a mother · Newbie Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 2

I understand what your all saying, but I don't agree. I know if a kid is going to have sex, they need to be informed about everything. I mean EVERYTHING! Not just about how to not get pregnant or to tell them how to not get a sex disease.

If they have a baby at a early age, how their life will be after the baby comes? Or if they get an abortion, how they will feel after it is over and how they will feel for years to come? Or if they happen to get a disease, how they will feel? Or how will their future partner feel?

I understand if kids is going to have sex, you need to make sure they know to have a condom at least. But they need to know that condom's can break. If the condom's break, what should they should do and so on.

Sex is fun, but it can bring a lot of pain if your not ready or your body isn't ready. I just think kids need to know all of it, before they make a decision. We adults should be the ones to let the kids know. I have children and I am open with my kids. If one of my kids does make a mistake, I will be there for them. I talk to my kids and I realize many parents do not. I have had talks with my children and I plan on having more in the future.

youdontknowme1220 · Newbie Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 18

Since you are a mother... I would like to know what you would do in a situation where your daughter got pregnant and wanted an abortion.

would you get angry at first?
would you then support her?
would you allow her to see her boyfriend again?
would you allow her to make the decision about what she wants with the baby?
how would the mother-daughter relationship change from it?
if she wanted to keep it a secret from her father would you agree?

age: 15

Terri* · Newbie Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 107

Personally, I agree with a mother. That's the right stuff and I'm only 15. Me? I don't plan on having sex until I'm married. Yes, I do mastburate, but I'm trying to cut if off. I'm trying to stop doing it. I don't like doing it, and yet I do.

louisep · Newbie Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 10

u say what if the boy is just using her for sex a man could be using a woman fo sex dispite her age. The doctor was supporting the girl, if he told her you sould be ashamed of your self your are discusting she wouldnt feel happy talkin to anyone she may even become depressed witch is comman with young people. That is why many young people including myself have abortions behind there perents backs because the support and understanding isnt there for us. Just because we are young dosnt mean we have no feelings, and we are hollow we are curious like older women and sex is fun thats why a lil guidance and understanding is needed

Lovelesstfs · Newbie Joined: 08 Jun 2006 Posts: 35

16 year olds not having sex is purely a matter of convention in your locality. In holland for example, the age of legal consent is 12, in Japan it's 13; and here in the UK it's 16.

And like crzyfl said this is a place for information to those who need it.

Don't be telling 16 years old it is okay to have sex

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