Girlfriend wants to lose virginity, seeking advice.

Someoneelse · Newbie Joined: 14 Feb 2007 Posts: 4

ok so. heres the situation. My girlfriend (20) wants to lose her virginity (im 22) but i have some concerns...

I my self am on the upper end of the average scale however she is a very small person (4'11 100lb) and i want this to be as nice for her as possible.

shes allready been told by a doctor that because of "smaller organs" she cant carry a child but everything still works so she can have an egg extracted and do things artificially but she can still have sex...

now, i really don't care how much enjoyment i get outta this... its her first time and i want it to be as special for her as possible i just want to know what sort of normal/special things i should do to make sure there is as little pain as possible... speaking of which what causes pain? i hear its not the hyman (which causes most of the bleeding from what i heard).

lastly she never said if she can even concieve or not, now im going to use protection anyway but, if anyone has any information on this i would be interested ^^ even tho i intend on asking her anyway it would be nice to have some expectation of her answer (as it is a very sensative subject for her and i want to be prepared for it)

helpisontheway · Veteran Joined: 01 Jul 2006 Posts: 762 Location: England

Most pain comes from accomodating a large object such as a penis into the vagina, the muscles have to stretch to accomodate the object, can be discomforting to some women.

If you use a good water-based lubricant, and take it slowly, pain can be reduced by a large amount!

Someoneelse · Newbie Joined: 14 Feb 2007 Posts: 4

hm. okay i have another question then. see currently she is going to college in another state and wants to spend a month here, but then shes going back untill the fall semester where she will be transferring to the same area im in. so...

if they are muscles that need to stretch, is it like going to the gym? after a week or 2 should we do it a seceond time? what i mean is, its not good to goto the gym once because it strains your muscles and they simply re-titghten again. and since she will be gone for a few months before moving here would it be erm.. i dont want to say healthier, but beneficial to have sex more than once before she goes.

which brings me to another question. if its true that we should have sex more than once, how long should you wait after your first time (as a girl) before having sex again? i would assume at least a week. but does anyone have a better answer?

Nomad1985 · Newbie Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 82 Location: NY, USA

Waiting after the first time? It hurt a little bit the first time I had sex but I everything was fine within an hour and we had sex the next day with no problems. It could vary from person to person though. My advice was simply be to use lube, take things slowly, and stay in tune to how she is feeling. If everything is going fine then don't be worried, you won't break her. Wink

About your previous question of knowing she can't carrying a child but not knowing is she can concieve. With past cases I've heard about the women can get pregnant but it would be difficult to carry to full term. However, the doctor is wrong in saying she can't carry the baby. She can but it would be difficult on her. If she had check-ups with her doctor quite a bit through pregnancy and things were set up to get her some place quick in case of emergency then she could. If those things weren't in place then she could die trying though. I know that sounds scary but some women want to have their carry and have their own child so much that they take the risk because it's so important to them. This happened to a woman in the same situation not too long ago, she carried the baby with many check-ups from the doctor and had a c-section later on.

Guest · Guest

Part of the pain is the tearing of the hymen. he may or may not have a torn hymen. It helps if this is torn gradually- Start with your fingers- penetrate her with one finger, then two. You should probably use a water based lube like ky jelly, to do this. When she's really aroused, you can open your fingers more- that'll help her to get used to being stretched. Do that a few times- like 4 or 5 consecutive days. She will probably bleed each time if her hymen is not torn. When you penetrate her with your penis- make sure she's really aroused first, penetrate her with your fingers first and put lots of lube on the condom. Enter SLOWLY. Penetrate gently. If she's relaxed and you enter slowly, it gives her muscles time to relax and stretch.
The first few times, will probably hurt her a bit, but if you're gentle with her and she's aroused, then it should still be pleasant for her.

It's not really like the gym. It's more a stretching thing. The stuff above will probably be all you need,
BUT If she has major problems with this and it's still painful for her, (a small number of women who are very small/tight do to begin with), she can buy dilators over the internet- which are like a series of dildos of different sizes- she starts with the small one, and then after a couple of weeks uses the next size up, until she's ready to take your penis.

Hope this helps

almostfamous12 · Newbie Joined: 10 Mar 2007 Posts: 6

yeah, as they said above, it is very important to talk to her with all of this, i couldnt stress that enough. But it seems like you will.

Girlfriend wants to lose virginity, seeking advice.

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