How can I look older? (need people around to take me more seriously)

Steve_Loc · Guest

I'm 18 years old but people keep mistaken me for a 14 year old (15 at most). Two years ago (when I was 16) me and my brother (one year younger then me) moved to a new country, people always thought that my younger brother was older then me, they tell me that he looked like a 20 year old. What I'm about to tell you really affects me because my whole life I have never looked at my self in the mirror and questioned if my brother looked older then me, I have always been the big brother who took care of his younger brother, but when people started to accusing me of being younger I was confused, I looked at my self in the mirror everyday and trying to see what made me look so young, I couldn't see it, then one day me my brother and our friends went to the mall, we saw a group of girls and I wanted to get one of their numbers, I was the oldest person in my group so I was confident that the girls would prefer me because I was the older guy, I went up to one of the girls and she accused me of being 'too young', then that same girl went up to my younger brother and started talking to him because she was interested in him, my brother was the one who got her phone number, I wasn't mad but I tried to rub it off, when we were walking home after, I asked my brother what did the girl say to you, he told me that she said "why are you hanging out with kids", at first I thought it was an insult but I talked to that girl later that day and told her that I am older, she was really sorry and apologized telling me that it wasn't an insult but she was actually 'for real'. Later on in that year I started getting really frustrated, people were barely taking me serious because I looked 'too young', I was even depressed at times and saw grow facial hair and I haven't yet, I saw how my brother is very very likeable and I wasn't that likeable and "boring" to some people I met, girls at the school considered talking to my brother then me, girls considered me as 'cute' while they considered my brother as 'hot' and 'handsome', I am friends with many people who are my brothers friends too, but they would consider at most times to hang out with me then him, even at jobs meeting the 'older looking' preson is taken more seriously then me (most of whom are younger then me). I am FAR from being a hated person who talks behind peoples backs or starts fights or has a bad attitude, I am considered non interesting because (unlike my brother) I am mostly a quiet gentle guy. Right now I'am 18 and still suffering with the same problem, my younger brother now has full facial hair features (I still barely grew any hair), my brothers body is bigger and more developed then mine, I have almost zero self confidence in my self, I went from being in great shape to becoming overweight, I even stopped attending the same school as my brother. I really don't know what to do, please help me out.

Guest · Guest

well steve i have that problem aswell im 16 but look 13 or 14 or did atleast.Theres a few things that can really help would you consider a short hairstyle as that adds more age to your face.Dressing better can really help too.

Guest · Guest

well i have the same problem im 22 and i look like im about 12. if i hang around my younger cousins i almost always get asked if they are my big brothers. sadly thiers no real way to look older i tryed the facial hair thing but i ended up looking like a 12 year old with a beard. so the best advice i can give you is to just live with it. it might suck now but when your 30 youll look 20 then youll have cute college girls walking up to you and your bro and asking why your hanging around old people. ya it sucks looking young but im sure it sucks even more for the people that are young and look old

Guest · Guest

Mate i am nearly 20 an people think im about 15/16. Just try an dress a bit older an take it as a compliment cos 1 day ur gonna wanna look younger.

Guest · Guest

I have the very same issue as you, but I'm a grown 25 year old woman with a husband. My sister has two children, and is a year and ahalf younger than me. People think that because I'm 5' and have a small frame that I am younger than her, a 5'7 woman with a fuller figure from having children. I am looking into dressing better and with heals. I have to make sure that I am well kept, with makeup most days, but people still think I'm young. I do my best with it, and take it in strides. It is insulting when people look at my husband and myself and they think he's a pedofile, but I'm 25. People don't get that all persons come in every shape and size, no matter what their age.

Guest · Guest

well ,I also have this problem ,I a 18 girl ,I looked like 16,but recently a lot of people said I am only 11 or 12 .I was mad .because I am "young",I still have met job and love pronlem .In fact ,I have overcome all of them."cute" is also good .hehe.

we'd better to think about our clothe and do more exercise .and focuse on fashion ,maybe it will be help.

well,as a boy ,you could get some bear on face ,I think it will work.good luck

Guest · Guest

In response to the 25 yr old with 2 kids I know what you mean. Im 38 and I look about 20 or younger; people look at me and my husband like we are freaks. He looks like hes about 20 yrs older than me. He also refuses to dye his white hair! We have 2 young children and people are always questioning whether or not they are my kids. I think they think he's a pedophile too!
Or Im a teen Lolita. LOL. Its no funny when you need to be taken seriously and people treat you like you're a freak.
So far there is nothing I can do. I guess when Im 60 I'll appreciate it.

Kirk C · Moderator Joined: 28 Apr 2008 Posts: 948

First, stop trying to compete with your brother for social contacts.

Second, make your own friends, don't hang with a pack of guys, trying to out-shine them.

Third, work on your weight immediately. Get your work out down to the point where you feel good about how you look.

Fourth, ask your barber for an older looking hair-cut.

Fifth, stop talking about kid topics, and start reading the newspaper.
Talk with people about what's in the news. You don't have to have an opinion, just need to be informed. That'll give you a common topic to start a discussion, and people will indeed take you more seriously.

Sixth, start to work on your college education. Even if you only take a class or two, or attend evening classes, the effort will show others that you are serious about your future.

Seventh, you'll want to change your dress to reflect an older sensibility.

This is just a partial list of ideas.
Make an appointment with your school counselor to get some more ideas about what you want to change and how to go about it.

Finally, if you feel that you're overweight and have dropped your body style, that's YOUR problem. Don't blame your brother or anyone else. Only YOU can get it back for you. So, go work on it.

Guest · Guest

I have the same problem as well! I am 20 and everyone say's i am 16, (I was asked for ID for scratch cards the other day so thats 14!) I now i look younge and it hasnt bothered me to much until I got this new job, I am an admin Director and everyone thinks I am a year10 on work experiance. I am getting married next year and I am looking at things so negativly I dont want people judging me by how I look and I dont want to look like a child in my wedding photos. I have s**t all self esteem/motivation and I have put on wieght because of this, I work with a lot of very stunning girls that spend all day telling each other how beautiful they are and they should be models and it makes me feel worse and worse. I've tried everything, changing the way I look the things I do etc and it doesnt work! I am starting to think whats the point in any of this, dont get me wronge i love my life and i love my partner so much, but this has become such a problem for me I dont even remember who I am anymore! I am so lost! Crying or Very sad

How can I look older? (need people around to take me more seriously)

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