How do I overcome the feeling I am ugly?

strupp · Silver Member Joined: 08 Nov 2002 Posts: 254

Hi. I`m only 17 and I can`t stand the picture of me. I`m not happy with the way I look. I have never had a gf!!! What to do? How do I overcome the feeling I am ugly? Help.

lysaght · Newbie Joined: 20 Apr 2005 Posts: 22

Hi. I`m 18 and ugly too, but I like it. I have never even wanted to be pretty. It sucks, man. Ugly is beautiful. Don`t you know that beauty comes from inside? You can`t look ugly, but you can be ugly. To feel pretty you must like yourself. You have to be satisfied with your looks. Girls don`t just turn on the pretty boys, anyway. You can be ugly and still a turn on.

kobeno · Newbie Joined: 22 Nov 2006 Posts: 5

Hi, I'm considered very pretty, but I have to admit that I also pay attention to my looks...

The reason why I wanted to respond to your message is not talk about my looks but to share the expereince of being 17 years old:

At that age, I thought I was ugly to the extent that I believed that nobody would want me. At 17, you think that you are ugly when you really are not. What makes you feel that way is probably your school mates or even your family. Even though people may not tell you that you are ugly, their put-downs or simply ignoring you will make you feel ugly. There are many external factors to making you feel the way you do. Look at Prince Charles...I bet he always felt handsome even thought he isn't model material because he got a lot ot attention.

To feel better about yourself, I would suggest working on your looks...don't rely on anyone to help you with that....talk to a pharmacist, drop in at a salon...don't be shy about that...the world really does smile back when you do...I would also suggest doing activities with a group that are seperate from school mates and family, as you will find that others will bring out characteristics of you that your normal every day school mates/family does not. Feeling ugly is not fun...take as much control as you can so that you don't give into any weakness. Potray yourself with confidence and the confidence will bring out your beauty. Yes, beauty does come from the inside, but many studies have also shown that people are treated better when they look better (unfortunate but true), so my suggestion is to have both qualities. Another important piece of advice is that everytime you feel or hear a negative thought, imagine that you are turing off a switch...actually picture yourself turning the switch to a positive attitude. When you do that you will find that over time you will start feeling better.

Exercise will also help you feel better...join a team or go jogging, or take yours or your neighbour's dog for a long walk as often as you can. At 17, i would suggest doing some physical activity everyday. Exercise does in fact make you look and feel better. Ever notice that people you exercise have a certain glow to them?

Hope this helps!

guestpx · Newbie Joined: 22 Nov 2006 Posts: 5

no one is ugly, i really do think that. Everyone can do a lil something to anhance their looks. maybe its a new haircut, getting a tan, or working out to get toned. Those lil things can help you feel better about yourself then anything else. After my consultation for a rhinoplasty recently, i came to the realization that i should really be happy with myself first. yea fixing my nose will look good but i will still feel bad in the inside. Your still very young and everyone feels that way from time to time. Try to take up a hobby or sport to help boost your self esteem Wink

Guest · Guest

Well unlucky ugly man

emily_15 · Newbie Joined: 06 Jan 2007 Posts: 1

I have no idea whether i'm ugly or not. The mirror, camera, video camera and other people all say something different so what am i to think!? And if i were ugly would that be a bad thing? Who is right, and why do we place so much importance on it and pressure on ourselves to be attractive? What makes a person attractive anyway, apparently there is a certain face shape/size/texture/colour/watever that is supposedly the perfect pretty. but wtf? how many people on this earth can have the same face! (excluding identical twins) and how many people do we consider beautiful: billions and billions!! so they can cram that formulae up their ass cos its the differences, imperfections, individual personality and deviations from that perfect structure which give humans a beauty all of their own. And then wat if i was pretty? maybe life would be easier, id be happier blah blah blah. but that isnt the case because i have no f@#$^&* idea and we grow, mature, change mentally and physically our perception of ourselves changes every day. but the eventuality is that we r all going to end up ugly old people (excluding those who die beforehand) with the same problems: incontinence, dementia and dependency on the younger generation! so maybe i should stop caring about maybe being pretty or maybe being not so pretty, and simply enjoy the fact that im young and alive.

btw, there wasnt much of a point to that apart from making me feel better cos im feeling positively wretched today so pay no mind to my ramblings.

Guest · Guest

No1's perfect...and its true.people like you 4 you.everybody has something preetty about them might not b there looks but how nice or sweet they can b.im average;not so pretty or ugly but im always comfortable with how i look Smile

so if ur having problem with ur looks dunt try 2 much makeup u dunt wanna look goofy but try light pink or a light color 4 ur eyeshadow try a new hair style and if people call u ugly there bjust jealous or mad.so i think u shuld care bout urself then of wat other ppl say. Very Happy

Guest · Guest

People often tell me I'm really pretty and slim etc, but i dnt often believe it. Ido think that beauty comes with in to a certain extent, people are attracted to happy, confident and friendly people. When someone is arrogant and mean yet good looking i feel they're an ugly person. While i no im not ugly, i have unfortunately surrounded my self with very gorgeous and somewhat superficial people. They make me feel not good enough for the. I despise this feeling, but i despise the fact that i allow such vain people to make feel inferior purely because i think they're more attractive

Guest · Guest

I have felt ugly for a long as I can remember. Crying or Very sad

No matter what group I was hanging with, I was always the one without a bf or I was the only one no one would approach. Alone at prom, homecoming, whatever the event was, I am sure I was there alone. For a while, I pretended like I was invisiable. Why not? That's how I was treated. I am human, so I would compare myself to others; thinking to myself, "how did she get a man, I know I am prettier than her....at least I think I am. And it would be downhill from there. Crying myself to sleep was (sometimes still is) an everday ritual for me. I am 23 now and I have still never had a bf. The guys I have talked to only wanted something out of me such as sex, or money. I may have low self esteem, but I do have self worth and I am not putting out for anyone. That's why I feel good about myself. I haven't done anything I regret like others, when I work out, I feel good about myself. When I eat healthy, I feel good about myself. So you need to do what works for you and build gradually. Feeling ugly is hard but there are so many things that are far worsed. I believe in time I will find someone that right for me. But I can't bring baggage in a relationship. It won't work. I want someone that is going to help me grow as a person and encourage me in all aspects of my life. Doesn't my pattern deserve the same. So when I am ready to stop feeling sad about the fact that I don't look like a video girl and learn to love me, then I believe Mr. Right will come when I least expect it. Very Happy

If I haven't already met him or seen him but was too embarrassed or shy to look at him, much less speak to him. Embarassed

Guest · Guest

I can relate to alot of teengers when it comes to pyhsical apperance I mean I think I am very ugly and its starting to take control of me life and everyone is startin to notice. I mean being young u definitly feel pressured to look a certain way I mean u have people who say embrace how u look how can u do that when u are constantly being ridiculed about how u look. things change over tha years and I must say the pressure is 10x greater as far as looks are concerned because people expect u to look a certain way. Dnt get me wrong feeling ugly isn't the best feeling in the world. I've been battling my weight for all my life and I am reminded of how I look everyday. I can be @ a party and feel so self concious b/c i think someone is talking about me. I have this thing where i make a habbit not to look in the mirrio to long b/c i hate the relflexion ....... this really bothers me to kno that i think im ugly i wanted to start loving myself i jus dnt kno how. Its so hard being young I mean im 16 yrs old and i dnt get alot of attention from guys b/c i guess they aim for the skinny model lookin chicks.......i hate my self for hating my self i can go on and on but i guess i'll stop here.....tell me what u think pple Exclamation

How do I overcome the feeling I am ugly?

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