new girl24
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Joined: 25 Jun 2008
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 Posted: 06/25/08 - 09:16 Post subject: Husband is starting to be controlling and is always upset |
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| I've been married for almost 3 years. My husband and I have been fighting a lot more that the "occasional fight" lately. Started about 3 months ago, we got in a HUGE FIGHT and I said something really hurtful. I've appologized sincerely again and again. I don't know if he's still mad about that or what, he won't tell me, but I know that ever since that fight there has been extreme tension in our house. Every little thing sets him off. If the house isn't spotless, he's mad, yet he doesn't do a fair share of the household work. If I'm not home and cooking dinner when he walks in, he assumes I've been out cheating on him (doesn't say it, but definitely implies it). He refers to my guy friends as "boyfriends".... He's also starting to try to control who I am friends with, when & who I can hang out with. When I try to bring these issues up, even in a calm voice when we're not fighting, he feels like I'm attacking him and he immediately goes on the defense instead of trying to work though our issues. He's also recently become a huge health nut and goes to the gym 3-5 times a week. I HATE the gym, always have, and he gets mad when I refuse to go. But I've never enjoyed it, so why must I start because it's HIS new thing? He also is mildly controlling with other areas as well, from not letting me drink and have fun when we go out (while he gets plastered) to not letting me choose the radio station in my own car! He loves his family and talkes to them every day, especially his brother and mom. I like them and talk to them as well, and I consider them part of my family, but he makes no effort to talk to my family at all, and when it comes time to visit them, he always tries to make up reasons for not going. My sister's wedding is in September, and I didn't give him a choice on whether or not he could go, because last time I went home without him, my family thought it was kind of shitty he didn't come, so I lied and told them it was because he didn't have any vacation time (which was the same excuse he told me, eventhough he had tons of days saved up). It's just like every little aspect of out marriage is falling apart seperately. I don't know where to start to fix these problems, and he certainly won't discuss any of it with me. What can I do? |
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