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Lori
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Joined: 23 Jul 2005
Posts: 508
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 Posted: 11/06/05 - 11:57 Post subject: |
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Dear Xingeh,
It’s been two months since we talked and I remembered you and I wanted to tell you what happened to me. Like a month ago I finally got together with this guy I have been in contact for the last 6 months. We get along very well and I am really enjoying his company. The reason I am writing to you is that ever since I am with him, I had only few down moments. When I am with him, I forget about everything and he does make my life more interesting. So, I think that people can make a difference in our lives and I wanted to recommend you to maybe work out things with your family or try to be more kinder to people or even get a good friend. It really helps being around people you feel comfortable with. |
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vanishing_tory
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Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: 06/18/08 - 22:37 Post subject: |
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I also suffer from depression and every day its a full time job just to make it through alive... I am one of the unfortunates who cannot find any a/d's that will make me better, they all make me WORSE!!! So i have taken the 'its like getting rid of the hiccups' approach... i feel like i have to ride each day out and focus on not letting the horrible chemicals in my brain get the better of me.... it is so HARD!!!! its like telling someone in a wheelchair "GET UP! youve got legs, you can WALK!" So I must continue this battle for fear of taking any more a/d's and being thrown off the edge!
I feel like there is no escape from my own mind! and now get this.....
I have just lost my sister (2 years younger, my BEST FRIEND) to suicide!!! She was on effexor again after being told that it worsened her already escalating anxiety attacks! So as you could imagine, i am also fearful of what those ads will do to me... my sister and i were like one person... feeling simutaneously each others pain and not even knowing it!!
I have a 13 year old sister who is showing signs of self harm... so i MUST be strong for HER!!!!
and... GET THIS!!!! I might be PREGNANT!!!!!! Oh shiza.... this is a rough track I walk... now I must walk it for my sisters....
Yet through all this adversity, as the weakling perso I am, I have found strength through this loss. Alsmost as if my sister were guiding me... I seem to have so much clarity when it comes to why we are here and what we live for...
Its not for material things, or even places... its for love! your friends and family are the most important thing in our lives... take them away and then who are we? we are lost souls.... searching for our lost soul mates subconsciously...
sorry for the rave... when you lose someone close all you wanna do is spew your guts to everyone and tell them how precious life really is... even when all you can think about is death.... I thank my sister for this strength...
She has shown me that it is not DEATH that we want... for if you look inside yourself you will find that you fear it more than you know!!! What it is we are looking for is release from the pain... We don't want to die! We just don't want to LIVE anymore.... so for our families, we must stay strong!!! However we need to do this, we are all different, ifinite possibilities/rights/wrongs for infinate beings.. Try not to lose sight of the bigger picture (those that love you) thy are always out there 'seeking' you...
Bleh, sometimes I think ive gone loopy... have i made any sense to anyone? have i helped anyone? can anyone help me????? |
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