I had an abortion and felt i was forced into it and now feel

april_richardson · Newbie Joined: 08 May 2007 Posts: 3

about a 2 months ago i found out i was pregnent and was delighted but when i told my boyfriend he insisted i han an abortion as he thought we were not ready. at first i fought back and told him i wanted to keep the baby but then he finished with me. i felt so cut up about it i felt i would be happier if i had the abortion and kept my boyfriend. since i feel i have been suffering from depression. just last night my boyfriend suggested we go back to just seeing each other, i wasnt happy but felt i dont want to lose him. i had a panic attack about 5 minutes after he told me. i feel so depressed and as if i have no one to turn to . not even my friends can try to understand what i'm going through. has anyone experienced this and how did you deal with it.

Carifairy · Veteran Joined: 16 Apr 2006 Posts: 2727

Here is my opinion... I have had 3 abortions, and I am happily married, and I have no regrets..

BUT I WANTED my abortions, I CHOSE them, so of course I am happy.

ANY man that would force you into abortion is a crappy person, but at the same time, were you ready to be a single mom??

YOU have the right to KEEP your baby, but HE has the RIGHT to decide that he does not want to stay around and help you...

You two need to discuss birth control and 'what ifs', and discuss what will happen next time you have sex.

Guest · Guest

hi April
so sorry you are having such a hard time.
I guess only you can decide what to do next. But remember that this bad time will pass for you.

Do you have any family to support you?
Do you think you could manage on your own with a baby.
Do you think you could feel ok about having an abortion or giving your baby to another couple.
And if you think about this. If you have the abortion because your boyfriend wants you to, will you ever be able to think of him in the same way again.
Would you feel resentment towards him. Resentment will eventually break up a relationship anyway.

I think that abortion should only be chosen when a woman is sure that is what she needs. Not because she is being emotionally blackmailed. Or because she is afraid of being on her own. You have no guarantees that your boyfriend will stay with you even if you do have the abortion.

Your present boyfriend may not be around for ever but the decision you make will be with you forever.
Whether you decide to keep your baby or give him/her up for adoption or have an abortion.
Ultimately it is you who will live with the decision. Not your boyfriend.
Please seek out some unbiased counselling.

It sometimes helps to write down your options on paper. Helps you to see things more clearly.
I do feel for the position you are in.
You have many things to think about. I hope you can find somebody to help you make the right decision. I hope you are able to make the right choice for you. I wish you the very best of luck.

april_richardson · Newbie Joined: 08 May 2007 Posts: 3

i have already had the abortion.

Hizgrace4all · Silver Member Joined: 29 May 2007 Posts: 196

april_richardson · Newbie Joined: 08 May 2007 Posts: 3

Thank you for the comment... I would really appreciate some advice. Its been about 3 months now and still feel very stressed about the whole situation. I really feel the need to get pregnant again. I can't even watch tv anymore because of all the storylines surrounding the issue. Any advice atall would be excellent because I feel this is ruining me. Thanks again! April

**edited by moderator**

Hizgrace4all · Silver Member Joined: 29 May 2007 Posts: 196

tallkat · Newbie Joined: 07 Dec 2007 Posts: 1

I did the same thing my boyfriend said it was my fault and he was leaving me because he does not want any children ( i already have three from a previous relationship) so I did it at 12 weeks on Jan. 11 2006 I was due July 15 2006. I regret it every day of my life. Now i have recently found out that he has a son from a woman he used to live with before we met he left her when she was around 12 weeks along I find myself looking at this little boys picture wishing he was mine. What is worse is I am pregnant again and want this baby more than I have ever wanted anything in my life and he says that I am stupid because he is leaving very soon to be a father to this child he did not want but now will be responsible to. I am not a strong person and I struggle every day trying to take care of my three girls but he keeps telling me to get rid of it because he is leaving soon to be with his boy and how am I going to afford this baby and who is going to help, I have none and a very limited income. So he gave me the money to "get rid of it" but i don't want to I don't know that I could handle that again.

lylac19 · Newbie Joined: 07 Dec 2007 Posts: 7

Hi, when i was read your post i felt like i wrote it ..
when my boyfriend and i started dating i told him i would NEVER have an abortion .. when i got pregnant we were happy even though we are young and everyone supported us .. then all of a sudden he was beggin me to have an abrtion .. i refused and refused .. i dont know why i gave in .. this was 3months ago .. all i think about it my due date i would be 6mon pregnant now .. and what my baby would look like his laugh his smile everything .. i dont know what to do ..

who are you dealing ?? emotionally .. are you still with your boyfirend ??

Ash* 19yr

Guest · Guest

April please contact me I went threw the same thing. I thought the same things. I would love to talk to you about both our problems.
~Casey

**edited by moderator**

I had an abortion and felt i was forced into it and now feel

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