I'm 16, severly depressed, having panic attacks, and using v

heythere16 · Newbie Joined: 08 May 2007 Posts: 8

I had to drop out of school in the middle of my sophmore year because of severe depression and panic attacks. I posted something in the "teens" forum, but I just don't know if they can understand some of the things I'm going through. I stole my dads old supply of vicodin he used for his back. I've taken 7-8 at a time, not knowing if I would die or not. I've tried to commit suicide 5-6 times, but have never told anyone. I know that sounds weird, but I took perscription and over-the-counter drugs to try to commit suicide, but I have a high tolerance for things like that. I haven't died or gotten sick or anything like that. I've been having these strange attacks every 1-2 days. I get really stressed and then I revert back to age 3. I can't think, I have to hit myself upside the head to even try and I can't speak or explain my feelings. All I want to do is throw a fit and cry. Its the worst feeling ever. I don't understand what is going on with me. I scratch myself until I bleed sometimes and it feels so good. I've also tried cutting myself and burning myself. Anything to let me feel something other than emotional pain. Please help!!!! I've been trapped like this for four years!!!

JR1 · Supporter Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 109

You need to get some professional help right away! Cbt can help eliminate the panic attacks but you need to talk to a suicide prevention hotline asap in my opinion. Try this one 1 800 SUICIDE (1800 784-2433). Call now.

Nik16 · Newbie Joined: 07 Apr 2007 Posts: 21

I know what it feels like to feel how you are feeling, but trust me, suicide is not the way out. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know it feels like it will never lift, but don't listen to these bullshit doctors about taking meds, that will just mess you up more, you have to take control of your life. Your young!! you gotta enjoy that, I mean im 19 and I feel old!!! I wish everyday I could be 16 again. Just take everyday slowly and I promise you everything will be ok :)

JR1 · Supporter Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 109

good advice Nik Very Happy

peet · Posted: 07/20/08 - 17:24 Post subject:

I woke up one morning 3 years ago, and thought I'd gone insane overnight. I had instant agrophobia, I was in a constant state of panic, and my mind was so full of crazy noisy thoughts, that I just couldn't think straight over the top of these thoughts.

I took myself off to see my doctor, who having known me for a few years, recognised the problem instantly and told me that I had a stress and anxiety disorder. He explained to me that I shouldn't think of it as depression, as that is a term that is grossly misunderstood by people.
He told me that I had to be patient and to work towards re-taking control of my mind. It's important to remember that this is not a mental ilness. The symptoms certainly make it feel that it is, but the cause is simply a gland in your body NOT producing enough of a chemical that helps us all to "feel good".
I was prescibed SERTRALINE, which is not an anti depressant, but aids the recovery of this mis-firing gland. 3 years later I am almost through it thanks to a loving and understanding family and friends.
My doc told me from day one that this illlness was nothing to be ashamed of as many many people are suffering from it every day, and it is becoming as common as catching a cold.
I was to be honest with everyone I met. I was to tell them that I had a stress and anxiety disorder, and I would explain to them about my panic attacks, and my other wierd behaviour that was abnormal compared to my state of mind before the attack. Most people didn't understand anything, but at least they gave me some space, which in turn removed from the equation many stressful situations. Gradually over the years, I learned to anticipate and control the unexplainable rages i would fly into, and I also forced myself into situations that my mind was telling me that I shouldn't. That way, I felt that I was fighting this negative being inside my head, and I was determined to come out on top and re-claim my life back.
I know a few other people with the same problem. Their doctors have just put them on anti depressants and they have not got any better. Anti depressants work on the symptoms but not the cause. Only you and a drug like sertraline can finally win over the cause.
Change your doctor if you feel he/she is not helping. Discussion groups do help too. Also, seek some counselling. These options put you into contact with people who are understanding and sympathetic, and its a huge weight off your shoulders when you see that you are not by any means the only one who is suffering. With time you will get through this. Fight hard that negative voice in your head, because you are stronger and you can take control, and everytime you achieve something that the voice said you could not achieve, laugh out loud at the fact that you won a battle and overcame the fear. It gets easier with every battle that you win, until eventually the war will be over. The voice is no longer controlling how you feel. You are. Good luck my friend. You can do this.

pixieali · Posted: 07/30/08 - 23:02 Post subject:

I'm 17 and have recently come out of a 4 year long depression. Turns out I am bipolar. No, I am not medicated. I have found my own ways of coping. To be quite honest what I did was I went on a spiritual journey. I found out why I'm here and who I am and now none of the things I was so miserable about before matter. (i know it sounds cheesy..)

I can't give you all the answers you need, thats something for yourself. But one thing I do want to let you know(and you can listen or not, its up to you..) is that what I've learnt about life is that we are all here to learn. If you sit there all day doing nothing because you're so miserable and so afraid of becoming even more miserable.. are you going to get happy? no. Don't be so afraid. Be strong. Get hurt. Heal. Forgive. Live. Learn. You will find your own ways of coping but just think about it like this: if you sit there going 'oh poor me, poor me im so sick in the head and i dont know how to cope', at the end of your life when you're lying on your death bed you're going to look back on your life and think 'yep. that sure was a waste of life.' and you don't want that. Go out there. Distract yourself from the pain inside and have fun with your life. What do you like? Go do it. Do whatever makes you happy.

JR1 · Supporter Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 109

I'm 16, severly depressed, having panic attacks, and using v

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