I tried to lose my virginity, but it hurt...BAD!

dancebabe78 · Newbie Joined: 25 Sep 2007 Posts: 1

I need some tips!!! I am a virgin....lol kind of! I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and we finally decided to go all out and go all the way. He has had sex before, but I have never even masterbated. The night we tried he couldn't even get in half way when i started screaming in pain, followed by tears. I felt so stupid, but it hurt so bad. Since then we have tried about 5 times. We used lubricated condoms, adding extra lube on them, no lube, and he's even fingered me before to try to get my "warmed up" and used to the feeling of something going in. He's fingered me a million times, so it's not like I'm new to that. All of the 5 times that we have tried again, it is the exact same thing. He doesn't even get half way in and the pain is so bad that I can't help but push him off of me. My mom said that maybe I should have a glass of wine to relax me before, but I don't want alcohol in my system for something like this! She also said to have him just go for it in and out just once the first time to break the wall. THen the next few times repeat it until it doesn't hurt anymore!!! lol Did anyone else have this problem!!? Any tips!!? He is pretty big. I can't wrap my thumb and pointer finger around it and it is probably about 8 inches hard. Does anyone have any suggestions to make it easier for me?

ec · Newbie Joined: 18 Sep 2007 Posts: 13

Suggestions:

1. Start masturbating and get familiar with yourself. Since you have a b/f and privacy you can try mutual masturbation, this is where you both look at each other while pleasuring yourselves; its kinky and lots of fun.

2. Get a dildo, or better yet a vibrator, one smaller than your b/f penis and use it to get used to being penetrated.

3. Have patience, when my wife and I first started having sex she couldn't let me in either. Some doctors think it's an involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles that holds the opening to the vagina closed. At one point I was actually in tears with frustration and feelings of rejection and she didn't feel good either. Then one day, maybe six weeks on and for no particular reason, she relaxed and I slid in, easy-as-you-please, penetration hasn't been a problem since.

Take heart,
ec

damn11 · Newbie Joined: 22 Jul 2007 Posts: 32

honestly i wouldn't get really upset about this.
I had the sameeeeee problem. It was horrible, i thought i'd never be able to have sex and my guy kept telling me i just had to relax. Everytime we tried i coudlnt let him even in halfway either without it being unbearable pain wise.
I think it's true though, as long as you are having a lot of foreplay, adding some lube, then you really just need to relaaxxx relax your muscles and let him just go in all the way. ONce he does that once, the worst is over. Your hymen is probably in tact, mine was too, which creates the initial pain. After that is broken, it's not half as bad , it even felt good for me the first time after it was in.
good luck! just relaxxxx

Jayded_Dreams · Newbie Joined: 29 Sep 2007 Posts: 3 Location: Dover, NH

As the others have said, the key thing is to relax...and trust me, i know how hard it is. My first sexual experience didnt cause me any pain i couldnt handle but he did have some trouble getting in because i was too tense. Instead of him trying to get his entire penis into you, have him insert the tip only moving in and out very slowly. Then gradually go deeper. This might help to lessen the tension and allow you to really get into it.

xx Jayded

I tried to lose my virginity, but it hurt...BAD!

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