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veemee
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Joined: 07 Aug 2007
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 Posted: 08/07/07 - 07:06 Post subject: Is Addcition destroying your marriage? |
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| I have ben married for 3 years. My sex life is almost gone. I am lucky to feel the touch of my husband once a month. I tried everything, losing weight (I'm 5' 2" 130 lb, and tone). When I bring up the subject of sex I get excuses. Everything from headaches to being too tired. I finally got it out of him that he has a porn addiction. We used to watch porn together and have quite the love life. Now he tells me that sex takes too much energy to have sex and he'd rather do it alone. He's not cheating, because he'll call me a dozen times a day and text me just as much. We are in out late 30's and early 40's. I'm at a loss. It's been almost three months since we've had sex and I can't take this anymore. I cannot deny him masterbation as it is healthy and he's not doing it a dozen times a day. Just once. Let me explain that the female orgasm does not work the way guys think it does. Even if I masterbate it does not come close to the orgasm I have with him. How can I get HIM to see this? |
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Ninja1200
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Joined: 24 Jul 2007
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Location: USA
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| Posted: 08/07/07 - 07:31 Post subject: |
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I agree with your statement that masterbation is healthy BUT when it takes the place of intimacy between a married couple it is unhealthy. He may as well be cheating becuase he is getting his pleasure outside of your relationship and denying your satisfaction. Let him know that you have needs that can't be met by yourself. Let him know that his addiction to porn is a betrayal of your marrige vows. Tell him you BOTH need to attend counseling or you may have to consider other options.
Life is too short to live in a situation like that. If he'd rather live his life alone with his porn than give him that option. There are a lot of fish in the sea that would be more than willing to share a sex life with a real human being over spanking the monkey to some smut and you have to remember that. |
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veemee
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| Posted: 08/07/07 - 07:39 Post subject: |
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| Cannot afford a counsel, that's why I'm here. We have talked about this at great length, and we have removed all of the offending material from the house. I cannot remove his imagination though, and it still continues. |
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Ninja1200
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| Posted: 08/07/07 - 07:52 Post subject: Re: Is Addcition destroying your marriage? |
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| veemee wrote: | | I cannot deny him masterbation as it is healthy and he's not doing it a dozen times a day. Just once. |
| veemee wrote: | | I cannot remove his imagination though, and it still continues. |
If he as adamant about masterbating instead of having sex with you, ask him if you could go in search of a sex partner to satisfy YOUR needs since he is unable to. I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but something has to get through to him and his emotions to let him know how this is hurting you. If you have already explained it and he continues, than he obviously does not care about your needs. If he's reached a point where his marrige vows to you mean that little and your happiness and sexual health mean nothing to him than I'm afraid there's nothing YOU can do to change that. Cut your losses before you waste too many years in a dead relationship and move on. OR, learn to satisfy yourself and hope that masterbation will keep you both happy, but you'd better find something to keep both of you connected outside of sex becuase the storms of life can place tremendous strain on a marrige and it has to have a rock solid foundation or it WILL NOT last. |
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