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Major depression and grief after abortion, very confused...

The time now is 10/10/08 - 14:48

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tnicolle
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Joined: 04 Jul 2008
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Posted: 07/06/08 - 11:34 Post subject: Re: Major depression and grief after abortion, very confused

tnicolle wrote:

sad/confused wrote:

I am 31 and desperately wanted to have a child with my partner. Last month I found out that I was pregnant and I was suprised to feel absolutely nothing positive about the fact. After the initial shock wore off all I felt was indifference, fear and depression. The sight of women with babies etc. provoked feelings of nausea... I took this to mean that I didn't actually want the baby and last week i had an abortion. Now that my body is returning to its normal state I feel exactly the way that i did before I found out that I was pregnant! I don't understand how it's possible to feel so emotionally estranged from myself during pregnancy. Is it possible that this happened because of pregnancy hormones? I feel like my body betrayed me. I wanted that baby. Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? It's very disturbing...

Yes. It was all hormones. They do things like that to you. You're either grossed out by friends, baby's daddy or in your case, pregnant women. It changes you mentally, and things that would not have bothered you before do now. What I don't understand is why you didn't really ask any questions before you got the abortion. Especially knowing that in the beginning you wanted a baby. That didn't make you question anything? But shoulda, woulda, coulda right. I don't agree with abortions, but what can you say now? Just next time, if this happens, which I doubt because all pregnancies are different. Just in case though, ask questions babe. It will be ok. Just pray about it if this is what you do. Don't know any other way to get over anything. I hope you get better is all I can say.

Ok. I'm sorry, and don't mean to be mean, but that was dumb as hell. Regardless of what happens, you should never live your life for someone else. You are the only one who has to answer to God. Not your parents or anyone else. Then what makes it so bad is that your boyfriend wanted his baby, so it wasn't really your parents right to tell you to kill his baby. He was gonna be there and that was between you and him and not your mother or dad. I'm pregnant now and though I don't believe in abortions, I was gonna go through with one because my mom thought that I should. So did the baby's dad. I was gonna go through with it, but when I got to the clinic, I broke down really bad in the car. I prayed. I was telling myself to get it over with. And the whole time I'm sitting in the waiting room, I'm pissed at myself for killing my baby because it's convenient for the father. Or that my mom thinks I have to do this. I'm talking to God the whole time. They call me back and do the ultrasound to see how far along I was, and could not see the baby. They couldn't do it for that reason. So I had to reschedule for the following week. Did I go back? Hell no. I thought about it. I took that as a sign from GOD that that was not what I was supposed to do. I thank God that he made it to where they could not see it, because the way I cried and broke down BEFORE it happened, I know I would have been worse AFTER. I told myself they would be sleeping peacefully at night while I'm tossing and turning and crying and depressed. They wouldn't have thought twice about it. So I told my mom I couldn't do it, and surprisingly, she was supportive. I told the dad and he was a little mad, but f.. him. What can I say. I told him we don't need him and that I didn't give a fu.. about his problems or why he didn't want my kid. I'm a single parent, and though I don't try and make this a habbit, I don't need no one.
Anyway, I hope you feel better.

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