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ANALILIA1
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 Posted: 09/21/07 - 16:09 Post subject: Re: abortion depression |
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Website does not allowed me to PM you. I'm still grieving. This is just so hard as you already know. My activity level went down. I used to exercise a lot, now I can't that much. I don't have the motivation. I still go to the gim but I forced myself to do it. I'm also eating less. The crying hasn't stopped. Every morning I wake up I feel I miss my baby, then I cry, then as the day goes by I think about God and start feeling better, and the next day I go through the same thing. I struggle to do things. I know I have to. I have to find hope. I have no choice. I wish I can get in contact with you.
| Hizgrace4all wrote: | | ANALILIA1 wrote: | DEAR HIZGRACE I HAD AN ABORTION A MONTH AGO AND I JUST FEEL HORRIBLE INSIDE. I NOW SEE OTHER PROBLEMS IN LIFE AS INSIGNIFICANT. I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GO BACK IN TIME AND STILL HAVE MY PREGNANCY. I FEEL VERY SAD AND LONELY. I WISH YOU CAN GIVE ME SOME ADVISE. THANK YOU FOR OFFERING.
| Hizgrace4all wrote: | | Guest wrote: | I too have recently had an abortion and am having those same feelings of regret and grief. i have always wanted a family more than anything, am in a committed loving relationship and would even go so far as to say that I disagree with abortion - and yet, i fell pregnant unplanned, got scared at the timing of it all and the consequences of it, and before i knew it, I'd done it.
I cry a lot. I feel empty inside, like there is a big hole inside of me that won't go away. I feel the desire to have another baby, soon, after my wedding, earlier than we had ever planned. I ache all the time and it's as though my body misses being pregnant (even though I was so sick). I'll be having a happy day and then suddenly i'll break down into a flood of tears, racking sobs that shake my whole body and i feel an indescribable ache in my chest.
I worry that when i do have another baby that it won't fix the real problem of the baby that I made the decision not to keep. |
Hi Guest and ALL who have posted here,
I read your posts and want you to know that there IS hope and healing. What you are feeling after your abortions is a reaction VERY commonly shared by ALOT of women, but often times, they dont share their feelings with others for fear of other men or women treating them harshly, embarassment, guilt, depression or whatever the reason may be.
I counseled alot of girls in Pensacola, voluntarily, and I have seen the healing and restoration that DOES occur. It is a process, but it isnt impossible.
If I can, I wouild like to help you in any way possible. If you would like to PM message me, just click on my name on the screen. Any help I can offer, I would love to help.
Many Blessings and healing,
Hizgrace |
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Analilia1,
my heart goes out to you sweetie. Dont beat yourself up for choosing your abortion. Learn from it. The feelings that you are feeling are VERY common, it is usually a NATURAL reaction for you to be grieving a loss of life. It is how you handle your grieving. Please know that there is hope, and that you can have restoration and healing in this process. You are not alone sweetie.
If you click on my Hizgrace name at the top of the post on the left side, you can personal message me. I would LOVE to help you get past this if I can, by His grace only. Also, if you would like, I can find out some information about places that you can go TOTALLY CONFIDENTIAL in loving and supportive places to seek restoration. Dont loose heart, keep your chin up, and know that you took the first step.
I had a young woman come to me, a friend, who was deeply depressed, did not want to eat, go around anyone, go to work, cried alot, constantly thought about her baby and had no other support here where I live. My heart felt like it shed millions of tears for her.
I will tell you, I decided to get into this counseling, because it BROKE MY HEART TO PIECES to see these young girls so TORN AND FRAYED. I understand the feelings of sadness and lonliness. Please PM me and maybe we could get started with possible counsel. If you cannot PM here, I will try and find a way for you to be in contact with me, ok?
THIS TOO SHALL PASS.... if you need to mourn and cry, DO IT. Please let me know if you have problems PM me.
I will pray for you sweetie,
Hizgrace |
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ANALILIA1
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| Posted: 09/21/07 - 16:29 Post subject: Here for you |
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Dear Collete1,
I had an abortion almost 2 months ago. I felt dizzy just when I wrote the first sentence. It was my first pregnancy, and as you know its an awful thing to go through. What a sad experience that my first pregnancy had to be like that. The emotional pain is overwhelming. Just like many I would give anythnig to bring my baby back, and I can't, and it just hurts so much. I just beg life to give me al least one more chance to be a mother. It will be so devastating for me not to conceived again and have a child. I say to you that your first baby is not here (if you believe in God, he/she is in heaven, in a wonderful place) but your other two children are here on earth with you and thank life for that. I'm sure the terrible experience of abortion has made you a better mother. They say things happen for a reason and something good that sometimes we take for granted comes out of something bad. I am so thankful that you were given to more children to love and show them to live. And remember talk to them about abortion so they don't have to go through the pain we are going through.
Forgive your husband we all make mistakes. I sometimes get upset at my boyfriend for letting me go through with the abortion, but I don't tell him I'm upset. I thought "why would you want me to go through something like that in my first pregnancy, this is so new to me. I thought is our baby, is my body that is going throught something so unnatural. Wasn't he afraid that something ould happen to me also? Didn't he loved me? But he is just human and we all make mistakes. I have to understand that.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS. BE HAPPY. |
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Hizgrace4all
Silver Member
Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 196
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| Posted: 09/24/07 - 21:52 Post subject: Re: abortion depression |
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| ANALILIA1 wrote: | Website does not allowed me to PM you. I'm still grieving. This is just so hard as you already know. My activity level went down. I used to exercise a lot, now I can't that much. I don't have the motivation. I still go to the gim but I forced myself to do it. I'm also eating less. The crying hasn't stopped. Every morning I wake up I feel I miss my baby, then I cry, then as the day goes by I think about God and start feeling better, and the next day I go through the same thing. I struggle to do things. I know I have to. I have to find hope. I have no choice. I wish I can get in contact with you.
| Hizgrace4all wrote: | | ANALILIA1 wrote: | DEAR HIZGRACE I HAD AN ABORTION A MONTH AGO AND I JUST FEEL HORRIBLE INSIDE. I NOW SEE OTHER PROBLEMS IN LIFE AS INSIGNIFICANT. I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GO BACK IN TIME AND STILL HAVE MY PREGNANCY. I FEEL VERY SAD AND LONELY. I WISH YOU CAN GIVE ME SOME ADVISE. THANK YOU FOR OFFERING.
| Hizgrace4all wrote: | | Guest wrote: | I too have recently had an abortion and am having those same feelings of regret and grief. i have always wanted a family more than anything, am in a committed loving relationship and would even go so far as to say that I disagree with abortion - and yet, i fell pregnant unplanned, got scared at the timing of it all and the consequences of it, and before i knew it, I'd done it.
I cry a lot. I feel empty inside, like there is a big hole inside of me that won't go away. I feel the desire to have another baby, soon, after my wedding, earlier than we had ever planned. I ache all the time and it's as though my body misses being pregnant (even though I was so sick). I'll be having a happy day and then suddenly i'll break down into a flood of tears, racking sobs that shake my whole body and i feel an indescribable ache in my chest.
I worry that when i do have another baby that it won't fix the real problem of the baby that I made the decision not to keep. |
Hi Guest and ALL who have posted here,
I read your posts and want you to know that there IS hope and healing. What you are feeling after your abortions is a reaction VERY commonly shared by ALOT of women, but often times, they dont share their feelings with others for fear of other men or women treating them harshly, embarassment, guilt, depression or whatever the reason may be.
I counseled alot of girls in Pensacola, voluntarily, and I have seen the healing and restoration that DOES occur. It is a process, but it isnt impossible.
If I can, I wouild like to help you in any way possible. If you would like to PM message me, just click on my name on the screen. Any help I can offer, I would love to help.
Many Blessings and healing,
Hizgrace |
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Analilia1,
my heart goes out to you sweetie. Dont beat yourself up for choosing your abortion. Learn from it. The feelings that you are feeling are VERY common, it is usually a NATURAL reaction for you to be grieving a loss of life. It is how you handle your grieving. Please know that there is hope, and that you can have restoration and healing in this process. You are not alone sweetie.
If you click on my Hizgrace name at the top of the post on the left side, you can personal message me. I would LOVE to help you get past this if I can, by His grace only. Also, if you would like, I can find out some information about places that you can go TOTALLY CONFIDENTIAL in loving and supportive places to seek restoration. Dont loose heart, keep your chin up, and know that you took the first step.
I had a young woman come to me, a friend, who was deeply depressed, did not want to eat, go around anyone, go to work, cried alot, constantly thought about her baby and had no other support here where I live. My heart felt like it shed millions of tears for her.
I will tell you, I decided to get into this counseling, because it BROKE MY HEART TO PIECES to see these young girls so TORN AND FRAYED. I understand the feelings of sadness and lonliness. Please PM me and maybe we could get started with possible counsel. If you cannot PM here, I will try and find a way for you to be in contact with me, ok?
THIS TOO SHALL PASS.... if you need to mourn and cry, DO IT. Please let me know if you have problems PM me.
I will pray for you sweetie,
Hizgrace |
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Hi Analillia,
I just read your post. My email address is the same as my screen name at yahoo.com. Please contact me there. I will do the best I can to help you. Have you tried to see a therapist? That might help too. Im here, sweetie. try to get in touch with me, ok?
Chin up, He has a plan for you. Blessings and hugs to you, ok?
Hizgrace |
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Hizgrace4all
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Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 196
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| Posted: 09/24/07 - 23:42 Post subject: |
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Hi Analillia,
I just read your post. My email address is the same as my screen name at yahoo.com. Please contact me there. I will do the best I can to help you. Have you tried to see a therapist? That might help too. Im here, sweetie. try to get in touch with me, ok?
Chin up, He has a plan for you. Blessings and hugs to you, ok?
Hizgrace |
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Guest
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| Posted: 09/30/07 - 23:07 Post subject: |
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| i wish i saw this website before i did what i did today..im only 17 yrs old..yea i knw, im way 2 young..if ur gonna say something bad about me..go ahead..i probably deserve it anyway..in a way, i miss my baby or fetus or watever u wanna call it..i mean i was only 5 weeks pregnant..but the whole pregnancy symptoms..i miss it..cuz i knew that i was carrying a life in there..someone's life is depending on me..i absolutely hate myself right now for doing it. i dnt knw if im ever gonna get over it.. |
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Hizgrace4all
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Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 196
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| Posted: 10/03/07 - 19:57 Post subject: |
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| Guest wrote: | | i wish i saw this website before i did what i did today..im only 17 yrs old..yea i knw, im way 2 young..if ur gonna say something bad about me..go ahead..i probably deserve it anyway..in a way, i miss my baby or fetus or watever u wanna call it..i mean i was only 5 weeks pregnant..but the whole pregnancy symptoms..i miss it..cuz i knew that i was carrying a life in there..someone's life is depending on me..i absolutely hate myself right now for doing it. i dnt knw if im ever gonna get over it.. |
Hi Guest,
I DO NOT believe ANYONE in these posts has the right to say bad things about anyone else. There are ALOT of young ladies whom have made the difficult "choice" that you made today. In my humble opinion, I believe that it is VERY important for ALL young ladies to FULLY understand what they are doing to their baby.
Guest, I DO NOT judge you for the decisions that you made, my heart TRULY goes out to you. I cannot tell you HOW MANY times I have seen this very thing happen with younger AND older ladies like yourself.
I do not believe in abortion, that is my personal opinion and also my belief. I myself, MANY years ago believed that abortion was ok.....that is until I found out what is done, and the absolute destruction that I saw happening not only to the baby, but to the mother as well. I researched both pro-life and pro-choice websites OVER AND OVER.
Please understand, guest, that there IS HEALING and restoration, but there are going to possibly be some rough times ahead for you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE
It doesnt really matter what "stage" the baby is in, embryo, fetus or what have you, I often believe that some women choose to call the baby by different names (in their developmental stages) to somethow maybe try to lessen the impact that it is a life.
It is REALLY important for you to make sure that you are talking with someone about what you are feeling. You need to know that grieving is a NATURAL process, and you are grieving the loss of a life right now. Your body and mind and heart are most likely going to be going through some "roughness".
There are some post abortion recovery centers, you can look them up for your area, on the web that can help you with this difficult time.
I have worked with girls whom are in the EXACT same shoes as you are. You arent alone !!!! I honestly must say that about 95 % of the girls that I have counseled have been severely effected by this. I wish I could help you out, I am here to listen if I can help, ok?
As women, we ARE NOT statistics on why, how or when we chose to abort, we simply need to know the truth. See if you can check out a recovery site called Rachels vineyard. I think you might like it.
Again, if I can help you in any way, please dont hesitate to post me here, or at yahoo where my email address is Hizgrace4all at yahoo. Blessings to you, sweetie, keep your chin up and know you are not alone, there are MANY women that I know personally whom are healed and restored (through time), and these are the women you need to seek whom can help you because they have been through it !!!
Grace to you,
Hizgrace4all |
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Guest
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| Posted: 11/15/07 - 09:33 Post subject: Re: 27 years ago |
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| collette1 wrote: | My abortion was about 27 years ago and I am finally writing down my story. I had been with my boyfriend for 6 years. After many family and friends started having babies and getting married. (most in that order; baby first) I became very careless and got pregnant. I guess I figured we would just do like everyone else and get married. Well, I was wrong. I was shocked when he said I should have an abortion. This is something I never ever wanted, but at the same time, felt I had to do. The issue really was money. He was hardly working at the time, we were in the process of moving after being in a house with roommates. So, I went through with it. He did not even go with me, but instead I had to rely on a girlfriend of a guy he was working with to take me. Granted he had to work which was important at the time. So as I'm writing this down, I imagine anyone reading it will be amazed that I married this man and am even still married to him. We since have two children.
The grief and guilt over the lost child is at times unbearable. I have intense anger at my husband and myself for not being stronger. I don't know what triggers these episodes, but when they happen it is very hard to function. And, as with many people I have kept this a secret from all of my family and friends. I can't imagine what my children would think of me if they knew this.
Anyone reading this and considering abortion, please think about it carefully. If you have any other option, don't do it. I would give anything to take it back..... |
It's been 27 years for me also. I was barely 18, in college and in love with the man whom I hoped to spend the rest of my life with. I was terrified and so was he but I had an abortion for all the wrong reasons. I was the one child that was never supposed to mess up. I was the good girl. I didn't want him to feel trapped. I cared too much about what everyone else thought and went against what I really wanted. I wanted my baby so badly but I ended the pregnancy. It's been 27 years but I can recall every single moment of that day, from what I was wearing, the other women who were waiting with me, the doctor's face, the nurse holding my hand, my utter despair.
It's been 27 years and I am still suffering. Time has not healed anything in fact it has only gotten worse over the years. Lately, I've thought about just ending it all. I can't cope any longer. I feel so hopeless and devastated and don't know how to stop the pain. |
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Guest
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| Posted: 04/15/08 - 14:52 Post subject: |
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| Wow, this is exactly how I feel. I am 28, married with 3 kids now when I started feeling sick one day and found out I was pregnant. I was in complete shock, I distanted myself from most people and within 2 days found myself at an abortion clinic. I was so anxious and shocked, my husband told me to keep it, and that day I actually left and went home after sitting in a room for 2 hours. I should have took it as a sign that I couldnt go through with it, I had found out that I was 6 weeks along. But then monday morning I went right back, and again started feeling immense anxiety and my thoughts were so clouded, after an hour of debating, I took the abortion pill in my hand and swallowed. Now I am so regretful...All of my reasons were selfish for not wanting another baby, I am in school and was too scared to have 4 kids. But now I see the bigger picture and I feel completely hopeless and dead inside. I have a strong desire to want to be pregnant still and I fear that if I do get pregnant that something will be wrong with this new baby...I wish I could talk to someone that could understand...I wish I had never went back, and I wish I could go back in time... |
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jos
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| Posted: 06/30/08 - 13:30 Post subject: re |
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| I went through same soul destroying experience early last year.I have 3 children and had just come out of a terrible 12 year relationship with their father. I very quickly met someone else, quite alot younger but so much more grown up than my ex. We seemed to be in love as much as you can without knowing someone for very long.About a month after first dating we made love ,neither of us were expecting it so we were unprepared. i took the morning after pill as soon as I could but it failed.I did a test and I was about five weeks pregnant.This was a disaster but at the same time I got excited about it even though I knew how much trouble it would cause because I hardly knew my boyfriend and my kids didn't know him yet, money problems etc etc. My boyfriend was thrilled and I tried to be thrilled with him, my ex had never wanted me to have any of our children,though he loved them once they were here. I knew my parents would disapprove and not be happy as I had had to rely on them quite alot with my other children as their dad wasn't a very hands on father. What I didn't expect was for my parents to be totally against it and suggest very seriously that I have an abortion for my existing children's sake. Last time I was pregnant I had a sort of pre natal depression but I had support from my family and no pressure to abort so I was able to carried on with the pregnancy and the depression wore off . This time I gradually got more and more depressed and couldn't see any joy in the pregnancy despite my boyfriend 's excitement and support. I just prayed for a miscarriage or a car crash , I just wanted it over. I went to the clinic for a pre abortion check and spoke to a counsellor who wasn't at all helpful.then the following week I went for the abortion.I had to wait about three hours before I was seen then I chickened out , I thought it was because I was scared of going under general anaesthetic. My father was waiting in the car for me when I came out and wasn't happy that I'd bailed out, he softened a bit when I burst into tears. I made another appointment for the following week, all week I felt more and more suicidal and ill and was kicking myself for not going through with it when I had the chance, all week I was chopping and changing my mind. Then I finally did it, everything went as well as it could and afterwards I felt fine, relieved and not feeling sick anymore. It wasn't until a few hours after I got home that it hit me like a Freight train what I had done, what I had lost. The emptiness is so painful especially when it's your own fault. I cried on and off for months. Now it's much less and I outwardly appear quite normal, but I sleep alot , I have no energy , I haven't done much housework ever since. I just scrape by on what needs to be done the most.I feel like I will never be back to my old self. I keep thinking I need to have his baby to make us both happy again but I don't know if it would work. |
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tnicolle
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| Posted: 07/06/08 - 11:20 Post subject: Re: Major depression and grief after abortion, very confused |
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| sad/confused wrote: | | I am 31 and desperately wanted to have a child with my partner. Last month I found out that I was pregnant and I was suprised to feel absolutely nothing positive about the fact. After the initial shock wore off all I felt was indifference, fear and depression. The sight of women with babies etc. provoked feelings of nausea... I took this to mean that I didn't actually want the baby and last week i had an abortion. Now that my body is returning to its normal state I feel exactly the way that i did before I found out that I was pregnant! I don't understand how it's possible to feel so emotionally estranged from myself during pregnancy. Is it possible that this happened because of pregnancy hormones? I feel like my body betrayed me. I wanted that baby. Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? It's very disturbing... |
Yes. It was all hormones. They do things like that to you. You're either grossed out by friends, baby's daddy or in your case, pregnant women. It changes you mentally, and things that would not have bothered you before do now. What I don't understand is why you didn't really ask any questions before you got the abortion. Especially knowing that in the beginning you wanted a baby. That didn't make you question anything? But shoulda, woulda, coulda right. I don't agree with abortions, but what can you say now? Just next time, if this happens, which I doubt because all pregnancies are different. Just in case though, ask questions babe. It will be ok. Just pray about it if this is what you do. Don't know any other way to get over anything. I hope you get better is all I can say. |
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