Manic depresssed girlfriend has asked for 'space'. How do I

scottyteal · Newbie Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 1

I've been going out with my girlfriend for six months. She was upfront with me from the start that she suffers from manic depression. She's on Lithium daily and annually sees a psych to make sure everything is in check.

Recently though she's moved into her own place and this seems to have brought on more depressive episodes. Recently she has been extremely caught up on my past relationship - I was going out with a girl long term, we broke up and then I met her. What she can't get over is how I 'got over' this past relationship so quickly - I told her that I didn't - that I grieved and cried and hurt. She can't seem to accept this though - it's like her brain is 'stuck'.

Last night we were talking about it again and she started shaking, wanted to throw a glass at the wall and she kept saying 'it's in my head, it's in my head'. She believes me - but it's like her mind won't let her 'believe' it.

I had never seen one of these 'psychotic episodes' - as she called it - but I was supportive and comforting but I could see she was in a LOT of mental pain.

Then at the end of our long discussion she asked if we could 'just be friends for a while'? At first I was shocked but soon pulled myself together.

She said she needs to go into her own world for a bit, hibernate and get her thoughts together. She said she doesn't like partners seeing her in this state - and she just wants a bit of 'spce' to work these thoughts through. She also said she can't handle the 'expectation' to work this out straight away.

So I've agreed to give her 'time' - she still wants to remain friends and hang out together and we both agreed we didn't want to 'lose each other'.

I spoke to her today and just let her know I wasn't going anywhere and she can talk to me anytime. To which she replied 'Thankyou but I don't think I feel like talking yet and I don't have any answers'. I said 'that's fine'. She said 'I just need to lie down on grass and think'. She's also been sleeping a hell of a lot since that night together and she is under quite a bit of stress at work.

I keep trying to tell myself this isn't about me - that she's not rejecting me - this is about her and her illness and what else can I do except still be her friend, don't pressure her and hope she'll give us a second chance once she 'sorts herself out'? It's quite a balance though to 'be there for her' but 'give her space' at the same time. By the way - two nights before she was telling me I had all the qualities she was always looking for in a man - then 'bang' - I'm on the outer...

Any advice much appreciated. I really love this girl. Cheers Evan

Manic depresssed girlfriend has asked for 'space'. How do I

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