Marijuana withdrawal

peterdaveloose · Newbie Joined: 25 Jul 2008 Posts: 1

Ok so after reading 7 pages of withdrawal information, I'm ready to tell my story. I'm only 23 yo--Yesterday was my first day "clean" and I didn't even make it.

Everyone on here talks about how "long" they smoked weed for, but I don't think that is very important. Intensity of usage is what determines withdrawal symptoms, along with consistency of your drug ritual. If you always smoke at a certain time, with a certain routine, using your favorite method, etc this is your drug ritual. Breaking the drug ritual for me is just as important as the actual smoking, because I am addicted to both. Sometimes I will cop weed and wait a good hour before I smoke, just sucking in the glory of my catch. But not usually. I smoke within an hour of waking up everyday, and end up using about $15-20 of weed that costs $60/8th on the streets. So about 4 bowls of the most potent ganja a day, everyday.

Last year I was sent to rehab for dealing, and had 10 months sobriety under my belt before smoking again. I learned quite a lot in jail, rehab, probation, watching myself be sober and learning how to live life as a normal person. I have done lots of hard drugs--coke, meth, acid, x, and even crack. I am not a loser, I go to FSU full time and work part time, and get straight A's. But yea, so this time when I started slipping into true Addiction, I was well aware of it.. albeit powerless.

Two days ago I went outside and smashed my pipe, smoked the last of my ganja, and even set myself up where I would have zero money to buy weed, NO MATTER WHAT. This means, no cash, no credit, no friends, no OVERDRAFTS, nothing!! I had to subconsciously screw my life up enough to reach this low in order to be able to stop smoking. No amount of weed drought or lack of funds has stopped me before.

So I woke up, in terrible pains and crying. I'm not sure what I was dreaming about, but it sucked. I spent 2 hours moping around the house looking for tiny nugs that I knew I had rid my house of the day before, but I was looking anyways! Like a crackhead would!!! Ok after my fruitless search, I went outside to try and find my broken pipe pieces to scrape some rezn off of to get high. Well no luck.

Hours go by in slow-f@#$^&*-motion, as the first withdrawal symptom kicks in. Always for me the first thing is sweaty palms and sensitivity to cold. I was literally sweating all over, but shaking from being cold. My solution to this is to constantly put on and take off a sweatshirt. Nothing else works at all. So after hours of spazzing myself out, I decided to go for a run. This made me feel much better, and took my mind off of smoking.

I forced myself to goto my 2 classes (4 hours, back to back), although I was a little scared of how I looked and how ppl would react to me so I made sure to wear nice clothes and sit in the back and not talk to anyone. My classes went OK, although I caught myself constantly acting nervous for no reason, and looking for anyone to connect with on even the most petty level.

Lo and behold in my 2nd class, this kid I had befriended tells me he has an ounce of weed he just got and I should get his number. JESUS CHRIST is God toying with me?!?!?! SO of course I get teh kids number but I have no money. He invites me over to smoke, and even sends me home with a .2 nug. Damn.

So I go home but I have no way to smoke this dinky nug. I try to make a pipe out of a soda can, but the vending machine takes my money. Then I find a socket in my tools and proceed to happily/sadly get high. I've never felt like more of a bitch for doing so. I wasn't very high by bedtime, so sleep did not come easily nor did it last long. I was up at 7am the next day.

That day is today. I cleaned my entire apartment from top to bottom and went for a sprint today cuz I was freaking out so much. Now it is 4:45, I usually get out of class right now, race home with a 1 track mind and proceed to toke it up ridiculous style, alone like usual. So the next hour is going to be the hardest because believe me, your biological clock KNOWS when it wants to smoke.

I haven't eaten anything in the last day and a half other than 3 pieces of bread that took me 20 mins each to eat. No, I'm not joking. I cannot generate saliva or hunger if I am not high. The tiny things I do eat, I nearly puke up and can taste in my throat. My normal routine of eating goes like this:

1. buy food.
2. eat 1/3 or 1/4 of the food, until full as shit.
3. smoke.
4. eat the rest of my meal, and actually have it taste good.

I do this because I don't like to be noticeably high when I order my food, and although I smoke everyday all day, people can easily tell when I'm high... I think it has to do with my shame.

I've somehow managed to put down about 400 calories today already, without puking any of it up. This required ordering delicious expensive food and sampling only one part of each of the meal, washing it down with copious amounts of liquids. I think the anorexia is the worst withdrawal symptom to overcome, and also takes the longest to repair.

I duno what else to say. I am so proud of all of you who have made it 5+ days and are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Weed has always been my achilles heel, especially when I let it get out of hand like I have. I honestly don't think I will last even to the end of today, as my drug brain has already hashed the most random deal with my buddy to smoke when he gets out of work. Do NOT underestimate the beast within. People believe in free will, but it is VERY SMALL in humans. We think we make real decisions, but try having free will when you are hopelessly addicted to a drug. Good luck telling yourself no. The pettiest habits are hard to break, even for ppl who don't use, so trying to quit a powerful drug like Chronic is a huge undertaking. Be prepared, stay confident, read a lot, and KICKASS.

I will make it. Maybe not this time, maybe not next time, but I will eventually f@#$^&* quit this evil drug. I love to feel the human compassion, the love, and the aliveness that only weed can bring to my life, but not at the sake of my own reality. One day at a time.

peterdaveloose@gmail.com feel free to email me guys.

hooligan69 · Newbie Joined: 01 Aug 2008 Posts: 1

Unlike most of the people on this site I have not been smoking weed for years. My first experiences were at the beginning of senior year in high-school. Throughout senior year I played sports and was involved in multiple activities so my weed use was kept to a minimum in a very healthy, relaxing way. When the spring came, however, I chose not to do a sport, and was already accepted into a prestigous college so I had much more time on my hands. I started smoking after school with friends, and switched from drinking on the weekends at big parties to smoking in small groups of friends. Pretty soon it got to the point where I would smoke everyday, and eventually I smoked ALL day everyday. It all happened very fast. I was high at my graduation. When the summer came I had about 4 weeks without a job so I would wake and bake, continue smoking all day, and go out at night and drink 40s and smoke more weed. I struggled at my job as a waiter because of my chronic weed smoking and could not remember the menu or where anything was. My job as a lifeguard was easy because I could just sit around being high listening to music all day, so I quit the waiter job and took the lifeguarding job full time. My pot smoking friends and I basically alienated ourselves from all of our other friends, and never got any *** because the girls all sort of looked down upon smoking pot. I spent hundreds of dollars on weed and went out and smoked with everybody I could find and made them pay me. My social life revolved around pot and my pot-smoking friends and we all became a shadow of what we were in high school.

Then came the conflict with my parents. My parents found my bowl, smelt weed in my room, and noticed that I was walking around like a zombie most of the time and sleeping whenever I was home. Neither of them punished me for any of it because they were not aware of how much I was abusing it and because they had both used weed in their younger days. One day, however, I mistakenly left an instant message on the screen making a deal to buy 1/4 for $100 with my most recent lifeguarding paycheck that I was supposed to be saving for college. They flipped out and there was noticeable tension and we did not speak for days as I continued to slip further and further into addiction. It was ruining my relationship with my parents. The last straw came when my mom walked into my bathroom while I was smoking a bowl alone out the window. She was angry because my little sister was out in the hallway and smelled smoke and she told me that I either had to quit or go to rehab. I didn't want to go to rehab so I told her I would quit, thinking that weed was not "physically addictive" so there would be no withdrawal effects.

So I stopped smoking cold turkey. The first two days were fine. The third day I started feeling really really tired. That night I was up all night in bed drifting off into broken minutes of sleep with weird disturbing dreams. The next day I was physically and mentally exhausted, with a splitting headache, and felt extremely depressed, almost to the point of suicide. I was still under the impression that weed doesn't have withdrawal so I thought I had some terrible terrible condition and went to the doctor who couldn't find anything but still recommended antibiotics for a sinus infection. The days after were some of the darkest and most exhausting days of my life. I lived in constant depression and had no energy to do anything at all, my body was completely sore and my head was constantly aching. I was also starving all the time and constantly had to eat and eat to feel even remotely normal. I alienated myself from all my friends and became extremely irritable and hurtful towards my family members. I made my mom cry because I was acting so sad and refusing to communicate with her. I cried at random moments and thought that I would have to live like this for the rest of my life. I gained weight. I looked like a wreck. I neglected all parts of my life and wallowed in self pity. The exhaustion and fatigue never went away and I felt as if life were not worth living.

However as time progressed to the 7-8 day I began to feel more positive in small intervals in the day. I saw beauty in simple things like trees, my dog, and people's eyes. I openly spoke to my friends about how I was feeling. It seemed as if I was seeing the world for the first time again without a THC clogged mind. I still felt exhausted and depressed most of the time, but these small, lucid, focused moments encouraged me to go on because it showed me how life could be lived without weed. Around the 10th day I felt well enough to swim for a bit and stretch my body out for the first time since I quit smoking. I am now on day 12. I took my walk for a long walk today and listened to quiet, calming music and felt alive and healthy during that time. Otherwise I have been thinking about weed all day obsessively and been depressed and completely exhausted. I even considered taking some vicotin or drinking some hard liquor to numb the pain but I did not give in to those temptations. My life is pretty ***** up at this point and there are only 20 days till I live for college and I was excited but now I am terrified. I am hoping to have kicked the habit and be healthy by the time I enter college so I can be sober and embrace this enlightening new experience in my life, but I don't know how long these debilitating symptoms will last. Just at this moment my friend called me to come smoke weed at his house with him and some friends and it took all I had to say no. It would be such a relief to go get high and enjoy this beautiful night instead of spending it in agony and depression but I said no. I don't even know if quitting is worth it. But it's been 12 days and I can't **** out now.

**edited by moderaator**

Marijuana withdrawal

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