Mom's an Alcoholic - What can I do??

tonypangia · Newbie Joined: 08 Dec 2006 Posts: 5

For the past five to six years, I would come home in the afternoon and find my mother disoriented; I would try talking to her but what came out of her mouth would not make any sense. Sometimes, she would lie down on the couch and suddenly fall asleep, just like that. At the time, I was too young to know what exactly was going on; I would sometimes go to bed and hear my father yelling at my mother, as if something was terribly wrong.

Well, as the years progressed, I quickly learned that my mother was an alcoholic. I would sometimes walk in on her mixing some liquor in with a soft drink for me not to notice later on. I would sometimes find half empty bottles of liquor in the cabinets. My mother even went as far as to break the lock on my father's wine cooler!

A couple of weeks back, my father became very furious; he finally got fed up of my mother's drinking and threatened to leave (not that he hadn't done this before). My father threatened to leave several times before, but this time, my entire family got worried that he would not come home that night. However, he did. At that time, my mother finally came out to me and admitted that she had a problem.

About a week ago, I celebrated my 18th birthday by having a BBQ with my friends in my backyard. Later that night, I went out clubbing with a few friends. Before having left, a friend of mine that I hadn't seen in almost two years came over and brought me a bottle of Tequila (drinking age in Quebec is 18 ). We each took two shots and my other friend had one, for a total of five shots. I placed this bottle near the coffee machine in the kitchen right before I left.

My father was fully aware that I had a bottle of Tequila and that I had taken a few shots; he was present when I did it! Anyways, two nights ago, everything seemed normal until I was getting ready for bed... I noticed my mother had gone to bed MUCH earlier than she usually does. Little to my surprise, I found out that she had been drinking. When I got home yesterday afternoon, I noticed that my bottle of Tequila had vanished from the kitchen counter and had made its way into one of the cupboards above our freezer, only... About 1/3 of the bottle was full. What happened to the rest of it? Well, your guess is as good as mine. I asked my mother and she admitted to having drank it.

Well, my father found out earlier yesterday morning and again, got really mad. I received several text messages from my mother yesterday saying that she had "screwed up again" and that she was sorry.

My mother has a problem, and to be honest, I don't know how to deal with it. Inside, I feel disappointed and hurt by her actions, but I just don't know how to express those feelings. My mother called me up no more than half an hour ago and asked me if I could talk to my father about it; he had been on the phone with her right before she called me.

I am as tired and fed up my mother's drinking as much as my father is, but I just don't know what to do!! On the side, my mother's been going to see a psychiatrist and going to AA meetings, but it doesn't seem to have helped at all. Anyone that's gone through what I have, please, what can I do???

ksf · Supporter Joined: 06 Jan 2007 Posts: 280

Go to an ALONON meeting as soon as possible. If your mother goes to AA she should be able to tell you where ALONON meetings are held.
This group of people (in ALONON) are going through the same as you and they will help give you pointers on how to deal with your mother and make your life easier.
Best of luck!

Guest · Guest

Hey man, you're not alone. My mother has been taking the same turn down into the bottomless booze ocean. Its the most helpless situation, i hate it, she asks me for support and i dont know what to do. Only difference in our stories is that my mom drinks on her way home, not the best idea right... anyway she has run one car into a ditch and due to the fact that i recently wrecked my car (not alcohol related, as i dont and never will drink because of my experiences) she has been driving my dads truck and just today she ran into someone's mailbox, damaging the hood and windsheild. Im 19 years old, live in Birmingham,Alabama. My Dad does the yelling thing too, and i cant blame him. But my mom is the one who threatens to leave for some reason. I dont think my dad has an easy time dealing with the fact that his wife has a drinking problem, so its hard for him to help her because she has depression problems as well which he has a hard time understanding. The only thing I could think of was to ask her to go to church with me and my girlfriend (which isnt the easiest thing to do). Most the time I have the feeling that its hard to talk to people that have no idea what its like, I even have a hard time talking to my girlfriend of two years about it. I know its been a while since you posted this, but if she has gotten help that has actualy worked. im curious as to what it might be so i can help my mom. If the news isnt as good i'd still like to know. Because like I said i dont really know anyone who has gone through this deal. I hope this finds you in a better state than you were in when you posted.
***

**edited by moderator**

Revanche21 · Newbie Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 6

tell her you love her and you believe in her ability to help her because you need her. corny but worked for me. (not alcohol tho)

Guest · Guest

my girl fiend mother is a alcohlic and i want to know can any 1 tell me if there is some thing more i can do than just being their to support her .

Goodnempty · Posted: 10/03/08 - 09:19 Post subject:

Hey guys my mum is an alcoholic as well. sometimes it seems that words of encouragement do nothing to change an alcholic persons ways and that actions have to be taken.
Anyways- i dont know what the laws are in your state but in Massachusetts they have something called a section 35 in which "Any police officer, physician, spouse, blood relative, guardian or court official may petition in writing any district court or any division of the juvenile court department for an order of commitment of a person whom he has reason to believe is an alcoholic or substance abuser" ---basically this sends a person into a maximum 30 days detox with no ability of them to leave! also they'd be encouraged for further treatment upon leaving! here the Massachusetts link mass.gov/legis/laws/mgl/123-35.htm
hopefully if you guys do some searching you might find something similar in your state!

Mom's an Alcoholic - What can I do??

LIFEFORM SOCIAL COMMUNITY NETWORK