My Fiancee Is An Alcoholic?

emelda · Silver Member Joined: 04 Sep 2000 Posts: 249

Hello. I'm 29 year female and I have some questions.
Just recently I’ve got engaged with a man I was with almost three years now and I have noticed some changes in his behavior.
In the beginning of our mutual life it was just great but after some time we end up with some serious problems with big loans and small salaries. All this made him to drink more than he used to.
I don’t know what to do because I'm afraid he became alcoholic. The other day, when I mentioned this to him he said that I'm funny because one or two glasses of alcohol could never be a sign of alcohol abuse problem. Where is the limit!?

nicholes · Newbie Joined: 29 Jun 2005 Posts: 17

Believe I know what you are talking about because my husband had problems with alcohol for several years back and it was a real nightmare for us. So, you understand why I know some things about it. I will tell you some crucial things about it.
I don’t know did you know but-up to two drinks per day for men and one drink per day for women is considered to be a moderate alcohol use. This is not alcoholism.
A standard drink is one small bottle or can of either beer or wine, one big glass of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits.
So, if he fits in these limits, he, by the low and present medicine beliefs, isn’t an alcoholic. Just be careful he don’t step the line.

Evie · Newbie Joined: 29 Dec 2006 Posts: 8

Hi, I'm Eve.

I know what you must be going through, with your fiance. I was recently engaged, ended a week before Christmas of this year. Through our 2.5 years together I dealth with him as an alcoholic. The lies and deception killed me inside. The person that suffers the most is the one that is closest to them, hence me. I guess ultimately I did pay the price. An alcoholic will blame you for everything in his life, his lot in life will ultimately become yours. What ever you do, not not become his punching bag. I chose not to move out with my fiance b/c his sponser did not think it was a good idea, espicially with very little sobriety behind him, him, being 13 000 in debt, for me to move out it would have been more of a financial reason then love and for that I was hurt, for that my relationship was ended by him. I now go to Al anon for support, if I may suggest, it may be a good place to start for support, I didn't think they would understand, but they do, I now have a sponser and friends who understand exactly what I have gone through and still go through. I go every week and it's the best hour of my life.
Take Care, Eve

Evie · Newbie Joined: 29 Dec 2006 Posts: 8

Emelda,

If I may also say, the first step they must admit to by themselves is denial. Whether it is through hitting rock bottom, you need to let him realize it by himself. Do not become the enabler in the relationship, you will pay an ultimate price. Don't forget, it is you that will hurt not him.

Eve

Guest · Guest

Hi there, I have been with my husband for 15 years. He has always drank and smoked pot. I have never been ok with either. I have tried to leave on many occasions and I always end up right back at home. More recently my husband has been taking vicodins, ( not prescribed) and he has done coke a few times. I have been suffering from some form of depression for some time now, and our marriage is not good. Does anyone have any advice for me, either on how to leave or how to make the situation better?

My Fiancee Is An Alcoholic?

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