Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

stephanierw · Newbie Joined: 19 May 2006 Posts: 8

Hi, I'm 22 and in 2003 I was diagnosed with OCD, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, and Social Anxiety. My psychiatrist put me on Zoloft, but I had horrible side effects and decided to stop taking it. He was very busy and I would sometimes wait for hours to be seen for five minutes while he wrote me prescription, and I would leave his office feeling helpless and afraid. I was also seeing a therapist who happened to be a family friend, but he mainly dealt with substance abuse patients and I do not abuse any substances...so..I eventually quit going to him because I thought I could just "live" with it. Until recently I was able to somewhat control my symptoms without meds. However, I recently found out that one of my roommates could have contracted HIV and it scared me to death. Part of my OCD is I always think I will contract, or HAVE contracted some sort of illness. I am so scared right now. I cry every day and have frequent panic attacks. It has affected my work life and my home life...I will not tell my fiance what is wrong because I don't want to scare him. I often feel there is no way out and that I will be sad forever. I have a gyno appt to go get tested but I am so scared that even typing this is causing me to cry uncontrollably. I constantly think that the test is going to come back positive...I have even caught myself living as if I already had the disease even though during the short period my fiance and I "took a break" I had other partners, I practiced safe sex with one guy and the other I dated exclusively who had recently been tested because his girlfriend was cheating on him. I was also tested in September and everthing came back negative. Despite all this, I am completely horrified and my normal life ceases to function. If anyone can help me or relate please do so..I have started seeing a therapist and have an appointment with a new psychiatrist, but my therapist is going on vacation next week and I cannot see her again until the 31st which seems like a lifetime to me. I just need someone to talk to. Thank you.

Jannie · Gold Member Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 424

Hi! It seems as if you don’t have much luck with therapists. You have finally found one and she is going away. I can understand how you are feeling, I only had anxiety and paranoid problems for a short period of time when I was going through a phase teenage age-adulthood but I do know that these feelings are very hard to control and are somehow stronger than we are.

I had a friend who spent two months is hospital because she constantly thought someone’s going to hurt or kill her. She was on medications and hospitalized and I think that this behavioral therapy together with drugs helped her a lot.

I often find that talking with someone you trust helps but it happens that people who you trust can’t understand what you are going through or blame you for your fears and behaviors although sometimes we can’t control it.

When I had problems, I also tried talking to a family doctor and I didn’t feel comfortable especially ‘cos she talked about something that I did not relate to. In the end, I started reading stuff on my own and looking for ways to overcome my problems.

Like I said, these were minor problems and I would feel them only when I was surrounded by strangers.

You seem to be very well aware of the problem, why not try to deal with it alone-slowly and with the help of the new therapist when she comes back.

stephanierw · Newbie Joined: 19 May 2006 Posts: 8

I'll do that...thank you so much for your help!

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

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