Post- Miscarriage Thoughts and Feelings

Hi. Two days ago I had a miscarriage. I feel very depressed. I can`t eat, I can`t sleep, I feel very confused right now. I just wanted to share some post-miscarriage thoughts and feelings. Anybody with the same experience?

Hi. I had a miscarriage last year and I am still afraid to try again. I really want to have a baby, but I know women who had a miscarriage are more likely to have another one. I was very depressed too, and then I have discovered meditation. It is really helpful. Anyway, I think I need more time to rest. I will wait for a year or two before trying again. I must let my body rest. It was a great shock for both, my body and mind.

hi! I just had a missed miscarriage 3 wks ago with my 12 wk old pregnancy and I am still trying to get over with the pain and the grieving. And much worst is, i had an ERPC twice!! which really added to the pain and the difficult situation I am in. I am a nurse but losing ur baby whom you only know for some short time still really hurts so much. The feeling of self pity and blaming yourself as a careless mother to my own child is still there especially knowing that im a nurse who can save other peoples lives but not my own child. On the other hand, faith in God and support from friends and family and mostly from my husband did helps me a lot to slowly heal and overcome depression. I just wished that we all mothers who have the same experience will soon find the healing and peace of mind and happiness we're all looking for

My name is Brittney. Over a yr ago I went into pre-mature labor with my twin girls at 7 months, and because they were in the same sac they became intangled in their own ambilical cords and did not make it. I was devastated. Everyone tells me I should wait until I heal emotionally before trying again. But I feel that I wont heal or be happy until I have a baby. I waited about 8 months and tried again. I miscarried at 7 wks. Then I waited 3 months and tried again. Then I miscarried that pregnancy also at 7 wks. I am the only person in my family that has ever suffered a miscarriage. Let alone two. I plan to wait about a year and try again. Turns out after the first pregnancy my thyroid became over-active and may have something to do with the miscarriages. I am now on medications for it and still taking my pre-natal pills, so when the time is right I will be as healthy as I can be. (So anyone suffering miscarriages or having trouble concieving have your thyroid checked.) I feel my faith, hope, and belief that someday I will have a healthy baby keeps me going, and keeps me from being depressed. Only ppl that have suffered the same type of loss truly understands how you fell guilty and at first think about it over and over again , thinking what could I have done differently? When the truth is ... probably nothing. What ever will be... will be. If anyone would like some one to talk to please feel free to contact me. Venting is the best medicine (I have found)


**edited by moderator**

Today is the day I crawled out from under my rock. My husband and I found out a week and a half ago that we had lost our first baby. I was 20 weeks pregnant and we were going in for a follow up appointment from the 16 week blood test...the AFP test came back elevated and I was told not to worry. It just meant we were in a higher risk category but by no means should we think that something was wrong with the baby. After all, this test is infamous for producing false positives. Of course I worried, and even started to accept that something could be wrong with the spine or maybe the baby would be born with a birth defect. However, I never in my wildest dreams thought of the possibility of what came next...

So on the table I go...fearing some bad news but excited nonetheless to know boy or girl. My husband hadn't seen the baby since much earlier on and I heard his excitement to see how much more baby there was. I agreed and mentally noted that our peanut was very still. The ultrasound technician began to press harder and then said “I need to go get the doctor, I'm afraid I do not see a heart beat.” She left the room and we just bawled in disbelief…and thought she clearly didn't know what she was doing and the doctor would come find it no problem. The doctor came in and confirmed our worst fear and called it a fetal demise. Seeing my dead, fully developed baby on the monitor and hearing those words is something I can’t seem to shake. It’s haunting.

At this point the genetic counselor came in to explain our options. I could not even process what was coming out of her mouth at first. We elected to have an amino done just in case it could provide some answers…although I’ve come to grips with maybe never having an answer but perhaps it can reassure me I am perfectly capable of getting pregnant again, having a healthy baby and this was just a fluke (we should find out the results soon). Then she went on to explain the more painful options…the next steps. She explained I could be induced and deliver the baby or do the laminaria sticks and then a D&E. I can’t fathom delivering a lifeless child in a maternity ward surrounded by healthy babies and new mommies. For any woman who was given no alternative to this process, my heart goes out to you.

I decided to have the laminaria sticks and D&E which was done last Tuesday/Wednesday. The pain from the laminaria was incredible. I suggest to any woman having this done to get the proper amount of pain medicine before you go home. I was given a mere 800mg of ibuprofen which helps with usual cramps, but this is a whole new level of pain (if you’ve had children I have to think the pain might be less severe…). Fortunately for me I was able to get some vicodin which was the only way to get through until the actual D&E the next morning. The surgery was very quick and I came out of recovery fine. I was home before I knew it. I went to bed that night saying to my husband tomorrow is going to be a better day, the best day we’ve had since hearing our loss and a day we can finally begin the healing process with the physical evidence behind us now.

I woke up with a much different feeling. We were entering a new chapter of this journey, but really finalizing the previous one. I didn’t really account for the physical loss I would feel all over again. And the aftermath of the surgery didn’t help. I was a little sore, but not in pain per say. But the bleeding just reminded me of the loss and then I started lactating on Friday. My husband seemed to have finally found a better place and I felt like I was starting from square one again. I wrapped my engorged, leaky boobs as tight as I could bear and went out for a margarita (make that 3). The next day my boobs were still as big as melons and hurt so bad. The pressure was overwhelming. I kept them wrapped tight all day and all night. By yesterday they have gone down a bit, but still leaking and very full and tender. Today they are a little better and I hope in the next few days will be as close to back to normal as possible. I had read about the “lambs” and what to expect with the D&E, but I never read anything about lactating so I thought it was important to include.

I made the decision to push myself back into the world today. I have cried, talked to my best friends, forced myself back into work, written our story and tomorrow will be a new day. I may cry again but I know I have resurfaced and know I am truly ready to enter this new chapter.

All of your stories without doubt helped me during this time and allowed me except that I am not alone, someone may have it worse, and these things are simply out of our control. I send my warmest thoughts to you all and wish happy days for all of us in the future!