Marie1992
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Joined: 17 Aug 2008
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 Posted: 08/17/08 - 22:57 Post subject: Red outer labia, not sore, has been there for awhile, and sm |
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Ok, so my outer lips, from about the area around the top of the clitoris to the bottom are red. They're not swollen and they don't hurt. I'm 15 now, and I can remember them being this way, and being extremely self conscious about them, since I was in about 5th grade. Previously, I thought that is was because, since I've been in 5th grade, for about a year I would masturbate by laying under the faucet of the bathtub. But, now I'm wondering if it might be something else?
For the last couple years I've been extremely scared of having an STD. For the last few years I've been scared to look at my vagina and at times, if I get itchy, I just get scared. Two days ago when my period came, I was getting itchy again, I was at work and it itched from the night before to the end of my shift. I get a sick feeling in my stomach a lot from worrying about it. (For the last week or so, I've been examining myself in a handheld mirror) I looked in the mirror and, my heart pounding the entire time, looked at it for about 15 minutes. Since my outer labia has been red so long, it's hard to tell if I have red, itchy bumps. But sometimes I see things, and I get super scared and all I can say is "I have herpes, etc"
If you're wondering by now, I've never had sex. I have a boyfriend and we've been going out for awhile and we mainly just kiss and sometimes we play when we feel very intimate (If it gets very intimate, we use a condom when we can) Him and I are both 'virgins' in the sense of never been penetrated and never being penetrated. Also, we haven't done anything very intimate in the last month or so. But I do masturbate still, normally with a small, round object. Which I sometimes don't wash before hand... which is another way I may have come into contact with something.
Ok, back to the subject. I thought I saw a cluster of red bumps, and it scared me. They don't look like herpes, they're not really big and they don't hurt, but again I was super scared. I heard in health that if you put vinegar on a herpes sore it turns white. So I put some on, and it didn't turn white. It did start to string though, could that mean it was a herpes sore?
But, tonight I looked again and I didn't see any bumps. I just did a 2 minute look, to not to overdo it, to avoid the possibility to start seeing things that aren't there. I looked normal, but its hard to tell, since the lips are red, as I said.
Ok, I just need more opinions. Because, it's very easy for me to dwell on something and form theories that make no sense, but I can build strong evidence for it, even if its not evidence at all. It's just been driving me crazy, and it makes me feel sick, but usually only when I'm feeling down. Sometimes if I get itchy, I scratch so hard I bleed because I want it to go away. It's hard to share it with family, because I have over 10 brothers, 4 which live with me, and my mother. And if I told my mother, she'd tell EVERYONE else, because she's the type of person that loves gossip, and has never really felt close to me because I'm not very girly or 'classic, feminine" pretty, and she's always wanted a little girl she could dress up and get compliments about her, etc. So, talking to anyone "irl" is not really an option.
I'm sorry for unloading on here, and sounding kind of whiny and teenager-ish. But this is the only way to really get help sometimes.
So, if you can help me on why my outer labia is red, and if the small bumps around my clitoris aren't sebaceous glands, and are something to worry about. Or the itching, or anything. I really need to get this out of my mind, and any information would help. |
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