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 Posted: 01/22/08 - 02:08 Post subject: Teen Son: 13, caught masturbating by mom |
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I am a single mother of an adopted 13 year old. This experience is new to me so I'm looking for any feedback to help me through this:
A couple of months ago I caught my son with another one of his male friends having sex, both close in age. I was floored. Then I found that my son was raped when he was in a foster home, long before I adopted him. He was younger. All the appropriate people were notified and he's in counseling, etc. (It still bothers me after walking in on them)
Now...my son says he saw the same little boy masturbating and he's started to do it... a lot. At first, I caught him with lots of lotion in the bed and on the sheets and he denied it.
Now, he's doing it more when he's suppose to be asleep because he has school the next day and has to get up early.
He's now admitting that he's doing it only because he thinks I see him... I don't see him. I bluff and he usually tells on himself.
My questions are:
Is this normal for him being so young? How should I respond as a single mom & head of household? What would be the best advice to try and get him to stop? Should I be angry?
I feel he learned this long before a couple of months ago, but can this turn into an even bigger problem?
Thanks,
Worried Single Mom |
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magicolour
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Joined: 28 Oct 2007
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| Posted: 01/22/08 - 17:23 Post subject: Re: Teen Son: 13, caught masturbating by mom |
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| Guest wrote: | I am a single mother of an adopted 13 year old. This experience is new to me so I'm looking for any feedback to help me through this:
A couple of months ago I caught my son with another one of his male friends having sex, both close in age. I was floored. Then I found that my son was raped when he was in a foster home, long before I adopted him. He was younger. All the appropriate people were notified and he's in counseling, etc. (It still bothers me after walking in on them)
Now...my son says he saw the same little boy masturbating and he's started to do it... a lot. At first, I caught him with lots of lotion in the bed and on the sheets and he denied it.
Now, he's doing it more when he's suppose to be asleep because he has school the next day and has to get up early.
He's now admitting that he's doing it only because he thinks I see him... I don't see him. I bluff and he usually tells on himself.
My questions are:
Is this normal for him being so young? Perfecly normal, most teenagers will be doing it, as long as its private and safe then he's fine
How should I respond as a single mom & head of household? give him some privacy and respect that a closed door means private (i.e knock)
What would be the best advice to try and get him to stop? only advice is that if he's going to do it when he goes to bed, tell him to make sure he goes to sleep by a certain time, if he wants/needs to goto bed earlier then so be itShould I be angry? No, dont be angry it will only make him do it secretly because now that he has discovered it, he's not going to want to stop (nor does he need to) and he will hold things from you. Be open and encourage him to be open with you.
I feel he learned this long before a couple of months ago, but can this turn into an even bigger problem? the masterbation in bed wont be a big problem. i cant really comment on the rest as i've had no experience in that area. i dont think he should be having sex mind, but masterbation is fine.
Thanks,
Worried Single Mom |
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jeremysladee
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| Posted: 01/22/08 - 17:43 Post subject: |
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| it is very normal for a boy of that age to masterbate... even if he was raped. i would be more concernd of him having sex with another boy if i understood right.. even if he was attracted to boys i dont know how young he would know it.. |
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| Posted: 02/13/08 - 00:39 Post subject: its alright |
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| im 15 and and bisexual, iv been out for 3 years, perhaps he is ecpirementing with another guy as do alot of kids his age, i would say encourage it becuase theres nothing wrong ith it, just maybe a little young for you liking. and if u tell him to stop, i doubt he will he'll just find other places to do it, i hope i helped and theres nothing wrong ith masterbation privacy is graeat thing and being gay is okay, talk to him about ssexulity |
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Charles II
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| Posted: 04/21/08 - 12:34 Post subject: 13 And Masturbating: What A Surprise |
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13 And Masturbating: What A Surprise!
Good grief. He's reached puberty. He has become sexually active. Sorry, but Mother Nature will have her way. Sorry it may be an inconvenience for law, religion or "morality". Get over it. |
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