Virginity Until Marriage

patenaude · Newbie Joined: 10 May 2005 Posts: 14

Hi. I am 20 year old guy, and my new girlfriend said that she is saving herself until marriage. Do you think that is absurd what do you think about it?

lapenna · Silver Member Joined: 29 Apr 2001 Posts: 292

Well, I think that it’s a matter of personal choice, it is good – you can’t get STD, and abstinance ca boost urges, so when it happen – BOOM! Of course , she might marry to a bad lover, and that sort of thing can brake up a marriage.

Terri* · Newbie Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 109

She's very smart. To me, that's the right thing to do. Wait until marraige.

Carifairy · Veteran Joined: 16 Apr 2006 Posts: 2727

It is not absurd, IT IS A PERSONAL choice.

Ask her questions about her beliefs, does she believe in birth control, or does she want babies RIGHT when she gets married...

IF you cannot handle her beliefs, then a relationship would not work out.

Guest · Guest

It is very much a personal choice. If you think it's absurd, then maybe you should ask your girlfriend the reasons why she wants to wait until marriage. You might be surprised by what she says and agree with her. If you don't, and if you need sex in a relationship, then clearly it will NOT work out for you two.

agent10ve · Supporter Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 571

Yes I think it is a personal choice but at the same time yes I think it's absurd. You still have to respect her wishes though. I find waiting until marriage to be very outdated, and the benefits of sex before marriage highly outway the 'gift' of giving yourself awkwardly to your partner on the night of your marriage. Call me a pessimist, but with divorce rates what they are you could wait until your 30's to have sex, and then get divorced. I think knowing if you have sexual chemistry with someone before marriage is important. And what about people who don't get married? You can have a meaningful relationship without marriage.

Your girlfriends reasons could be completely legit. It's just the people who look down upon people who lose their virginity before marriage who tend to bother me.

My advice is ask her what her reasons are, and then respect them. There are other things to do (physically) besides sex.

abbeytoks · Newbie Joined: 30 Jul 2007 Posts: 31

if she says she is keepin herself till u guys get married i think its a very nice and a determined thin,i guess she is really determined to do it coz its not easy to,i d always said dat too wen i was still young but it depends on who u goin out with,pls i will tell u to help her and be patient enough as u can.its a nice thin for a woman,its the greatest pride a woman can have.but the question is can u be patient enough or are u guys gettin married soon?

daisy33loca · Posted: 08/17/07 - 22:57 Post subject:

It is a very personal choice. I made the same choice and married the man of my dreams, we are best friends and waiting was the very best choice I could have made in my youth.

Some think it is out-dated, I personally think it is a smart and honorable decision, with kids who are way to young having sex way to early getting sick, hurt or pregnant... the risks of early sex is way worse than waiting to have sex until you are either married or until you feel you "found the one"

Sex is never that great in the begining anyway, so to say to risk marrying a bad lover, that is absurd.. sex takes practice and communication. Also waiting does not make the divorse rate any higher, we have been married for over 14 years.

If you think it is absurd and can not repect her decision then maybe she is not the girl for you. I think it is pathetic that everyone guages life and relationships on sex... they have nothing to do with eachother... life and relationships run far deeper than just sex.

Sex is not a game or a casual thing, sex is not a thing of childhood or even young teens. It is sad to see how many many people take sex with a grain of salt and think of it as not a big deal, they put no importance or signifigance on it.. many treat it as if it is simple as going to the movies or breathing.. they treat it like it is something you HAVE to do. People have forgotten the true meaning and purpose of sex.

oggii80 · Newbie Joined: 30 Jun 2008 Posts: 2

Before I met my present wife, I had just come out of a 6 year marriage, and before and after that I'd had more partners than I could remember. I had the same issue as you, since she wanted to wait until marriage. She treated (treats) me like a king, and I loved being able to do things with her, not just because she was insanely beautiful, but because she was just really great company. Our wedding night was a bit painful for her, but after a few days, there was no sexual desire between us left unfulfilled. She was (is) the best in every sense of the word! I'm really glad I waited, although it was harder for me being a.) male and b.) Very accustomed to an active sex-life. Hopefully the same happens to you! Besides, if you've already had sex with someone else before, you have an idea of what to expect and can therefore compensate by using your hand and a little imagination. I found that masturbation at least temporarily slaked my personal drive until I could get out of a tempting situation and remember the jewel that I now call my wife.

There's nothing wrong or abnormal about abstinence, and it's well worth the wait for someone you really mesh with. I think back on my life "back then" and think about what I could have missed had any of my tests come back positive. If you love her (or at least really enjoy being with her and could see yourself falling in love with her), it could be well worth the wait.

Virginity Until Marriage

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