WILL MY ANXIETY EVER GO AWAY???

xAlexisonfirex · Newbie Joined: 29 Dec 2007 Posts: 2

March 9, 2006

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After leaving school and being nervous/paranoid, I met up w. a friend and we went to my dad's house and smoked some really good hydro (marijuana). I was sitting there on my bed playing a little guitar after we smoked and then out of nowhere...BAM! I started freaking out and said something like "Let's go" because I didn't know what was going on. It was the worst feeling ever. We left and I said let's go to town. On the way there, I asked him what was in the pot and he said "nothing." I didn't believe him, of course, because this never happened to me before when I smoked. I asked him the same question probably another 5 times. Still, he replied w. "nothing. Its knockout nug." I thought there was heroin or something in it. I was in the most fear I'd ever been in in my entire life. We walked to my aunt's and on the way there I felt nauseous, dizzy, light-headed, thought I was going to die (basically all the symptoms) and couldn't stop telling myself "You won't be alive tomorrow. This is it." I ALMOST CALLED 911. I made myself throw up because I thought I might have food poisoning, but I was wrong. I got sick again a little after we had left and headed towards my dad's again. These feelings of dread and panic would NOT GO AWAY. I had no idea what was happening to me. A million thoughts were racing through my head. We went to my aunt's house again and I thought sitting down and chilling out might help, but it didn't. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I called my sister and told her to come get me because I thought I smoked bad pot. She asked my friend what was in it and he told her the same thing he told me, NOTHING. We stopped at the store before going home and she said I was having a panic attack. I didn't believe her and kept asking her if it was something internally wrong with me. She said no, but I didn't believe her. We eventually got home and my mom seemed nervous, which made me even more paranoid. I told her I'd smoked pot and she called my friend and asked what was in it. Again, NOTHING WAS IN IT. I wanted to sleep, but I was sure I was going to die. My mom called my aunt, a nurse, and asked what was going on. She said I just smoked really good pot and that I was having a panic attack. I eventually laid down on my bed w. my mom and dog because I was too scared to lay down and go to sleep by myself. She told me everything was fine, but of course I didn't believe her. My dad called later and said the same thing my aunt said. Just good pot and that I was having a panic attack and that I was fine. I eventually got put on Klonopin and Paxil, which I'm still taking. My parents took me out of high school that year because I missed a lot of it getting used to the medication and I had so much work to make up it stressed me out. I was scared to leave the house for days. I barely made it through going out to eat @ Friendly's w. my friends because I was dreading a panic attack was coming on every minute of every hour.

Present

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I smoked pot a couple of times since then and had a few panic attacks, but I knew what they were so I was calmer than before, but still very scared. The LAST time I smoked I had a BADDD panic attack, which in my opinion was worse than the first because I got really hot and sweaty and almost cried because it was so bad (Again, basically all the symptoms). I thought there was crack or something in it. INSANE PANIC ATTACK I might add. I've stopped doing it since then, but NOW I'm always worried people are trying to put LSD, poison, and things of that caliber in my drinks. I can't ever get the thought out of my mind. I always think I'm going to be drugged and can't ever go to work w/o feeling anxious. If a drop of bleach flies in the air, I'm paranoid it'll touch my lip and I'll die. It's THAT bad. The smallest, stupidest things make me insanely paranoid. I LIVE ANXIOUS EVERYDAY NOW. Why me? I hate these feelings. I feel like the old me died March 9th. I feel I'm a diff. person and I just wanna be normal again like I was before I started experiencing these attacks. Depersonalization and derealization own me now. Sad

WILL THIS EVER GO AWAY???????????????

-- Christian (Male/19)

xAlexisonfirex · Newbie Joined: 29 Dec 2007 Posts: 2

EDIT: After I experienced these attacks, I realized I had one after smoking when I was 13 and that I was having derealization and depersonalization from smoking just prior to having my 3/9/06 attack.

JR1 · Supporter Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 114

Yes they will go away but not if you don't take action. Join a CBT group or read some CBT books like the one by Sam Obitz and start doing the thought countering excise called the TEA form and learn to think more objectively and be able to calm yourself dsown before the pnaic takes hold of you. CBT is the most effective treatment available for panic disorder with an over 80% success rate.

Guest · Guest

so actually the 2nd time i smoked pot! i had a really bad panic attack which was because of my anxiety, so i ended up smoking it again and i had one sooo bad i almost thought i died like i just remember saying in my mind omg im dying and freaking out cuz i didn't want to die. anyways back to my subject. and after that i had some weird idea that i could like calm myself before i got high, like as i started to freak out i just said to calm down everything's fine, and so on and eventually i was able to get realllly high without any freaking out.

also i realized that it tended to get worse if parents were around or someone who could catch you, and yea now i can use weed to calm my anxiety taking my mind off of things that are bothering me even with that much weed.

rod11 · Newbie Joined: 21 May 2008 Posts: 1

ever sense my first major panic attack that took over my body and i couldnt move didnt wanna talk didnt wanna move just layed there in my bed basically disabled it was the worst feeling in the world but i got through it
ever sense that day my anxiety got worst and when i smoke pot i get panic attacks or high anxiety. i feel as if im disconnected from the world
and i just get so deep in my thoughts u just feel like you cant answer or reply to anyone even if u want to. im now currently taking serequil and believe its
20 mg its haveing an ok effect for now dont have hardcore fear but still deep down in the back of my head its there. like you cant ignore it. sometimes i juss dont wanna live i dont mean to say this i just hate anxiety. nd i dont kno if makeing my mg dose will make it better some advice?
but for now i support everyone with anxiety =]
and dont worry better days will come
hope my shares have made you look up and feel supported thanks
rodrigo .

Rjsinfo · Newbie Joined: 10 Aug 2008 Posts: 1

Guest · Guest

Guest · Guest

I had the same problem. EXACTLY. It sounds ridiculous but I tried so hard to tell myself it was lame and just stop feeling that way, but that does not work. I just stopped smoking bud completely, its no big deal no smoking weed. But you never forget that feeling. I do the same thing, thinking that everything is poisoned, it consumes my life. Due to the paranoia, I have developed the worst OCD ever. I check the seals on everything like a maniac before consumption. It sucks, I totally understand. I just want to be able to live without analyzing everything. Some people who do not have the same problem will say just stop thinking about it, but that isnt possible. So, just know this... There are others just like you. I am one. I do ok. I make decent money, I get myself to work everyday, even though sometimes I have anxiety attacks at work and just have to tighten up and get through it. You will get better, but it takes time and determination. OMEGA 3 Fatty Acid vitamins and Magnesuim pills every day, take them religiously. It has helped me tremendously. Also when I am sure to go to the gym daily I feel way better. Also, i tend to be a disorganized person and quite a procrastinator. If I work hard to stay organized, on time and not procrastinte things I have to do, that actually helps too. I am sorry I dont know what the cure is. I am going to school for a medical degree with every intention of curing this crap. My grandfather has it and had agoraphobia and never left his home for like 40 years. I dont want anyone else to feel the way we all feel. If just quitting pot would have been sufficient that would be fine but now there are residual problems and the anxiety continues. I think the pot just brings an underlyning condition to the surface. I have smoked buds and not had attacks even after the first time that happened, but it is too much of a gamble for me to smoke weed, so whatever, I dont need it. Stay addiction free and dedicated to a good, honest, hard-working life and that truely helps.

Thank you SOOOOOO much for your post, because I have had the same problem for years (its not that bad all the time, dont be afraid of my saying "years") and I have never found someone else who has the problem with always being afraid of being poisoned. I cannot thank you enough because honestly just knowing there is another human being with the same problem is really therapy in itself. Its scary thinking you are the only one with a strange paranoia, but when someone else has the same thing, it feels better, like now you are not that alone. So THANK YOU! Keep blogging and posting.

WILL MY ANXIETY EVER GO AWAY???

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