What's WRONG WITH ME, I JUST CAN'T CUM

binnyjinny · Newbie Joined: 04 Jan 2007 Posts: 2

Ok, I'm an 18 year old girl and I cannot cum for the life of me. I have a boyfriend (whom is my first and the one that took my virginity and I love him very much) and we really do have amazing sex! I enjoy it so much, I just don't know why I can't cum! Also, I've tried masturbating, but it really isn't my thing... mainly because I can't please MYSELF. I'm just confused and somewhat frustrated. My boyfriend and I have talked about it and he says some girls don't have an orgasm until they're 30 because that's usually when women reach their sexual peak. To be honest! I don't want to wait that long! I'm eager hahaha. Does anyone have any suggestions?

**I suppose I'm eager for myself, but I'm mostly eager to finally have an orgasm because my boyfriend feels as if he doesn't please me, when really he does! I just know it's something wrong with me! I don't want him to blame himself.

concentual · Newbie Joined: 03 Jan 2007 Posts: 10

Reaching a cumming orgasm for girls, I've heard is extremely difficult. I could be wrong, but, I believe it's mostly g-spot orgasms that cause it. So, it may be easier if your boyfriend has a big one lol. But I could be wrong about that.

new1 · Newbie Joined: 16 Jan 2007 Posts: 1

binnyjinny...

i know EXACTLY how you feel. Im in the same boat. im 18, i lost my virginity to my current bf, and i cant lose it either.

i dont understand...

i hope that at least makes you feel like youre not alone.

emlo · Newbie Joined: 13 Jan 2007 Posts: 2

Guest · Guest

Well it's almost been ten years since I was 18, but I remember the frustration when I first lost my virginity and wondering why I couldn't cum. It's still not very easy for me, and for many women.

That being said it's not a physical impossibility, and you certainly don't need to wait until you are 30!

To get a woman to cum takes A LOT of patience especially at first. My first boyfriend was never able to make me cum, but my next boyfriend was a bit older, and knew a lot more which helped.

First every woman cum differently, but the majority of women are anorgazmic which means that most women do not cum as a direct result of intercourse. It is very very few women who can reach a g-spot orgasm through intercourse, or with toys alone.

Most women need manual stimulation... and this is where you can have lots of fun practicing with your boyfriend.

First of all there are fingers and manual stimulation on the cliterous (many men have difficulty finding this - although most every man will swear he knows where it is... make it a fun game and find it together).... some women really enjoy a combination between oral sex and fingers, and you can always use toys as well.

Women unlike men also typically need some variety, so unlike men where one action repeated usually produces a result, for women a variety of oral, manual stimulation and toys tends to produce better results.

As much as many women especially younger women (myself included) feel mastrubation isn't our thing, it's a good skill to learn, if only to learn about your body so you can better show your partner how to please you.

Try mastrubating together. Also, many women have dificulty making themselves cum with their own fingers, so expeiment using water from a shower head that has a pulse setting, or again explore some toys.

Good luck. And don't wait till you're 30!

Orgasms4usall · Newbie Joined: 28 Jan 2007 Posts: 1

First of all, if you are only 18 and he is your first; how do you know that you are having amazing sex? Obviously, you are not. Second, its not about the "G-spot." It's about the technique and experience of your lover and you.

It is not your fault and it is not his fault. Neither of you should be having sex until you learn more about how your bodies function alone. My professional opinion is that you do not know how to have an orgasm, especially if you can't please yourself by masturbating. Get a self help book and learn more about your body and how it works before and after sex. Seriously, if you don't know what gets you off; why should you expect someone else to?

Guest · Guest

Okay boys and girls gather round Mr. D and I will cure all that ails you. Being a gentlemen I'll start with the ladies and the gentlemen can help themselves to the information I present. If you're having trouble reaching climax (having an orgasm) try the following.

0) This isn't really all that important generally speaking but can make a big difference. Think about either shaving all of you pubic hair off or getting it waxed. It makes the skin more available to sensation and will make accessing your self or your partners access to yourself a lot quicker.

1)Make sure you know where the "sweet spots" are. The clitoris and the g-spot is what we're focusing on. It's horrible to overlook so many other wonderful places on your perfect bodies but we need to concentrate.

2)RELAX! Nothing is more important. Calm down. Eat a light meal before hand. Turkey and Alfredo pasta is a great idea. Have a couple (two, you don't wanna be drunk or even tipsy). Relax.

3) Get naked. Don't be shy. You're beautiful. You are perfect and gorgeous. There is no word in any language to describe how amazing you are.

4)Lie on your back. Prop yourself up on a few pillows. Make sure you're comfortable. Dim the lights. If they don't dim candle light is even better. Make sure it's the light isn't too dim or too bright. Make sure you're comfortable in the room.

5)Now on to the mechanics. Either you or your partner should start by massaging and kissing the inner thigh. Don't tease though. Move on to the upper-vascular hood. The covering of the clitoris. Lick with the back of your tongue from top to bottom. SLOW AND STEADY. You're not a musician. Don't try and be tricky. After a while (1 to 2 minutes) start licking upwards. Slip your tongue or finger under the hood and stimulate the clitoris directly. Use the tip of your tongue now. Try this rhythm. 1-firm, upwards with the tip of your tongue. 2-Down with the tip. 3-Slow and firm with your whole tongue starting from the back all the way to the tip.

If you're taking care of yourself start by fingering downwards over your hood. When you're feeling good rub little circles over you clitoris and hood in whatever speed and size feels best. Again when you're comfortable, pull your hood back towards you and massage your clitoris directly. If your finger(s) are dry then you will want to lick them. Continue gathering speed as you go. And remember to relax.

The G-Spot. This is found very easily. Insert your fingers inside and press up towards the "top". You should feel a "ribbed" spot. Small ribs or hills will be present. And if you've found it you'll be sure to know. Use 1 or 2 fingers and make a "come here" movement. Pull your fingers nearly out dragging them along the g-spot at whatever pressure your partner or yourself finds most pleasurable. Repeat repeat repeat.

6)MOST IMPORTANT. Forget you ever read this. Don't think about this. Don't think about work, your mom, school, tomorrow night's party, how long it takes, or what your partner is thinking. And why would you? All that other stuff is unimportant now. And the longer it takes the stronger it'll be. And don't worry about your partner. They're blessed. They couldn't be more grateful for this opportunity. They get to pleasure a goddess like you. They'll gladly worship you for as long as you desire.

If you have any questions or concerns. You can reach me at **emails not allowed

Guest · Guest

Orgasms4usall
Newbie

Joined: 28 Jan 2007
Posts: 1

Posted by Orgasms4usall
"First of all, if you are only 18 and he is your first; how do you know that you are having amazing sex? Obviously, you are not. Second, its not about the "G-spot." It's about the technique and experience of your lover and you.

It is not your fault and it is not his fault. Neither of you should be having sex until you learn more about how your bodies function alone. My professional opinion is that you do not know how to have an orgasm, especially if you can't please yourself by masturbating. Get a self help book and learn more about your body and how it works before and after sex. Seriously, if you don't know what gets you off; why should you expect someone else to?"

Ok, What kind of professional are you? Certainly not a therapist, for I wouldn't imagine anyone with half a drop of compassion to write "Obviously you are not" having amazing sex to someone you have never met, spoken with, and don't have any relevant information about. How rude and presumptuous. True it isn't either of their faults, and true learning about how their bodies work is very important, but so is not being a downer know-it-all. 18 year olds do have amazing sex, believe it or not, and they are also often self conscious, shy, scared and confused about what is going on. With that in mind, maybe you could take a hint from the post above, where good information is supplied in a kind and gentle manner. Try not to slam your "professional" opinion in someone's face, slamming things doesn't always produce the desired results.

Guest · Guest

hi all,
this is simple, just relax and have fun, its not a race to the finish and if you so called shoot your load too soon, its all over but the frustration.... I am a 39 year old man who has had many partners, i jokeingly call myself an orgasum donor, lol, a few first cummers in there as well and have always been patted on the back for a job well done, my key to success is oral, oral, oral but if your man doesnt know his way around your clit he is just gonna piss you off, lol.... sad but true.....
alot of what you have been told is correct, expirience is lifes best teacher and with age cums wisdom and knowledge Wink

.... just chill and be a firm beleiver in fore play, fore play, fore play..... Explore your own body when you are alone and let him explore when you are with him, hell, luis and clark did it why shouldnt you, lol, i wonder if they were gay Wink

...... The main thing is to relax, have a drink if need be and go to town trying new things to drive each other crazy...... Good luck and also remember practice makes perfect....... recomended reading, "the Kamasutra for 21 century lovers"

Peace,

Anthony from brooklyn

barrett1213 · Newbie Joined: 16 Jun 2007 Posts: 16

a 100% sure way to come is to get a spoon sorta big lay on a bed nude with your legs spread as far as they can go and put the spoon in and point it up a little bit the twril it around you should come after that \

What's WRONG WITH ME, I JUST CAN'T CUM

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