When to start birth control and where is my hymen?

I have two questions. My boyfriend is going to have sex with me in a few months for the first time ever. I need to start birth control and be assured it's definitely working before then, how long before do I have to start that?

My second question has to do with my hymen. I've been masturbating for a good portion of my life but I never go with the fingering method (I never even thought of it when I was younger then when I did learn about it, honestly it sounded way too weird so I never tried it). Recently I've been really worrying about how much sex may or may not hurt for me. When I told my boyfriend he asked me where the hymen was and honestly I couldn't answer him. I knew it was shallow but I had never seen mine. So tonight to took a mirror and I looked at everything and after reading about the hymen online, I'm beginning to suspect I don't have much of one. But I'm also suspecting that I might be looking at it and not even know I am because I have no clue what they look like beyond a thin membrane of skin at the vaginal opening. Anyway, how am I going to know if it's my hymen I'm looking at?\

Also recently, I have tried fingering myself three times, I can get about two inches and it starts to feel really uncomfortable and unpleasant. Not just normal unpleasant but really unpleasant. I am worrying, if I can't deal with one finger two inches in, how am I going to deal with a six inch penis?? When I say an unpleasant feeling, I mean that there is barely a way to get my finger any farther without not exactly pain, but not exactly a feeling I like in any way, shape, or form either. The closest thing I can compare it to would be like touching your eyeball or sticking your finger even a bit more farther up your nose than you should. It's not unbearably painful but it's too uncomfortable for your body to allow you to continue. I would also like to say, I am not at all very well informed on female anatomy and I'm not even completely sure if my finger is very far in my vagina at all. Are there any resources you could refer me to on this subject, I really would prefer to know these things better before I have sex.

You should be on the pill at least for three weeks before you have sex, a month just to be safe, as for the hymen part, im not exactly sure where it is, and the fingering... i hate to finger myself, i know what you mean, i like to masterbate, but not going inside, but it feels soo much better if its someone else doing it to you, when my bf does it, it doesnt feel as uncomfortable. Oh and i always wondered about the "how am i supposed to have a penis inside if i can even handle two fingers" but you just have to take it slow, my bf starts with one finger, then when i feel more comfortable with it he goes in with two, then he tries putting his penis inside and its not that bad, you just have to go kind of slow.

These are all very good questions, and ones that deserve answers before you begin engaging in sexual behavior.

We've received at least two complaints of too detailed of information on this website, provoking questions from a young child who has found the website.
Personally, I'm inclined to ignor the complaint, because whether it is a young child who found the site or not, this information is important. If it is provoking a child to ask questions, so be it. They need to know, and the parent's role is to teach or answer these quesitons. If they come because of this website, that's good. That's better than asking because of mis-information that was coming from other teens or kids.

So I can't get upset because one unsupervised child has stumbled into an area where the parent didn't know they might go.

As for the questions above, I would recommend a good detailed female anatomy chart to help with the location of the hymen, but it also occurs to me that if it is becoming uncomfortable to insert a finger, perhaps the hymen is intact and blocking. For these reasons, I would recommend a visit to your family doctor to begin discussion of birth control, hymen and whether you're ready to start sexual relations with your boyfriend now.
Honestly, I think all of your questions could be addressed at once.
And if you are going to start the pill, these are questions that should be addressed by that health care professional who is writing the prescription.

i agree, the information should be here and it is up to a parent to answer questions a child may have and more so for them to supervise their use of the internet.