Why do you cheat?

Miia · Gold Member Joined: 21 Sep 2005 Posts: 389

Hello all! I would like opinions and responses from different people on the topic why we cheat in relationships? Is it boredom? Excitement? What does it feel like? Do you feel guilt? And when you are again with your partner, do you feel ashamed or not? Does cheating mean anything to you? If yes, what? Do you cheat on regular basis? Tell us everything from your point of view….

I may start….I used to cheat because I had no proper relationship and because I was not in love and never committed. I didn’t care about cheating and I had no regrets, everything was just fun.

When I fell in love and started committing I haven’t cheated at all but I see that many people do cheat in their relationships, even people they love. I am not saying that I don’t feel like being with someone else sometimes (like a thought) but the thought that someone may find out I was doing this behind my boyfriend’s back and that this will make him look stupid…is just killing me. I find this topic relevant…and I would love to hear different opinions and experiences.

whitedaisy · Newbie Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 1

sometimes, people cheat because their partner is pushy. or it can be for the excitement, the newness of it all. i once asked two men friends of mines..who i knew cheated behind their wives back.. though they love their wives and put them on a pedestal, . why, i asked... trying to understand their logic. both answered the same thing. they've been with their wives for so long. it was the excitement, the rush of something that they were looking for. sex had become routine with their wives. they just needed a rush..and then they'd scuttle back into their own married world, happy once more.

Miia · Gold Member Joined: 21 Sep 2005 Posts: 389

Hi whitedaisy! Thanks for your response! How do you feel about the topic? It is not just men that are cheating their wives for excitement! Have you ever done it, and if yes why and how have you felt about it?

Guest · Guest

My current boyfriend cheated on me three times after seven months of intense dating. He went to europe for two weeks, during which time he groped and was promiscuous with 2 different women. I had told him from the get-go that I'd never tolerate infidelity, and the moment he did, our relationship would end. He swore an infinite number of times that he would never do anything to hurt me, as he was the man that I had (and, unbelievably, still do) intend to marry. We were in a whirlwind relationship and I, in my excitement of finding my proverbial "other half" dove right in without even considering my vulnerability.

He confessed to the deed 2 weeks after it happened, upon my questioning (my coworker was best friends with one of the 'other women') at which point i ended the relationship. he eventually turned his life around after he realized the magnitude of what he had done, and we reunited. After another 9 months of dating, and endless discussions as to why the thing happened, he came to the conclusion that the whole thing was a result of the fact that he was unable to cope with the 'suffocating' relationship, and was not ready to commit to the woman that he actually did want to spend the rest of his life with, at the immature age of 18.

Extra-relationship sexual behavior is not always the result of the desire for excitement, but rather can be a manifestation of the person's desire to retain their independence from someone that they are simply not ready to dedicate every waking moment to.

LadyStorm · Posted: 12/02/06 - 19:17 Post subject:

* why we cheat in relationships?

I once had 3 bf at the same time cause they was all hot and cause i wanted to be with all 3 and to be honest i wasnt inlove with any of them and my friends was doing it and it was like a game that i thought would make me look cool lol i know this sounds like peer preasure and i have been there too .

* Is it boredom? Excitement?

I think it was my selfishness and it was all for fun guess excitement quilifys lol.

* What does it feel like?

It feel sneaky and hard to control like i had to try to not meet them all at same place and whatever i was always nervous that one would show up while im like on a date with the other its crazy.

* Do you feel guilt?

A little i guess

* And when you are again with your partner, do you feel ashamed or not?

To be honest i dont lol ... i guess im weird

* Does cheating mean anything to you?

I dont know ..

* Do you cheat on regular basis?

No i did it once and eventually i got caught and i didnt like the feeling i dont think id want to try that again lol

Taxicab · Newbie Joined: 25 Dec 2006 Posts: 5

I've never cheated. But I've been tempted to be with other guys while dating someone because I felt so positive I wasn't good enough for him. So I'd just get the ending of the relationship quick so he could move on

GrayAngel · Newbie Joined: 15 Dec 2006 Posts: 15

People cheat because they're selfish pricks who only care about their own pleasure. End of story.

bayslions · Newbie Joined: 06 Nov 2006 Posts: 7

I have cheated many times, mainly due to the excitment of doing different things. I have cheated with mainly prositutes as there is no mental connections just physical. I am actually quite addicted to visiting them now and it is also hard to stop doing it now as its too easy.
I do have a girlfriend but sex with her is just basic missionary and once a week which for me is not adventurous enough.

spraymachine · Newbie Joined: 01 Jan 2007 Posts: 13 Location: Arizona

Yoga Honey Bunn · Newbie Joined: 21 Dec 2006 Posts: 83

I cheated b/c I felt that I wasn't getting what I deserved, but I was too scared to leave the relationship and be alone. I could "play the field" and see what was out there without really having to leap and take the plunge into changing.

That was then. Today, I am quite content in my relationship. I have found a mate who is stimulating on all levels and who challenges me to grow.

Why do you cheat?

LIFEFORM SOCIAL COMMUNITY NETWORK