mel24
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Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Posts: 1
Location: qld, aus
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 Posted: 04/03/07 - 08:39 Post subject: Would i be suffering withdrawel this bad if i had quit earli |
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I started smoking weed when i was 17, because i was depressed and it made me feel better. I smoked cronically until i was 21, when i quit for about 3 months, i remember taking valarian and other vitamins and did not suffer withdrawel symptoms. then i smoked cronically again till i was 23, at which time i stopped for about 4 months, again i did not suffer withdrawel symptoms. On both occasions i quit because my boyfriends at the time wanted me to. I have now quit 12 days ago after smoking about 2grams a day (a workday) and probaly 3 grams on a days off, every day for the last 10 months or so. I started having panic attacts about a year and a half ago, which have increased (less time between each attack) over time. i have now had 7, three in the last three days. When i quit this time, it started cause my sister wanted to quit and cause it was dry anyway and i also didnt have the money for it. The first few days i had a nervous breakdown, ripped my hair out, trashed my room, cut myself, and basically cried for hours and hours...i thought it was over after i got over that hump - how very wrong i was! The next few days after that i really got back to my old self and felt fantastic, bubbly, energetic, sharp, like the old me, it felt wonderful. then i started noticing i was waking up every 2 hours of the night and getting hot and cold flushes. then on about the 6th day, i had to chest pain, which i attributed to an on going flemy cough i have had for over a month. Then the next night, i decided to take three codine/paracetamol tablets and one sleeping tablet to help me sleep cause i had an early start the next day. shortly after taking these, i felt the effects and they brought on an extreamly severe panic attack, i couldnt breath and my heart was racing, i felt extreamly hot, then would start shivering violently, my head felt light and cold, then hot and cold again, i felt weak and could barely walk, i was afraid to be alone or even fall asleep because i thought i might stop breathing in my sleep. When i was trying to sleep (even though i really wanted to call an ambulance) i was hearing doors opening and closing, light switchs being flicked on and off and so on. Also for the last yeah i have been experiancing disturbing visions when i am trying to get to sleep and these have returned now with gusto. As have some very vivid dreams. the next day i thought i would be over it, but no, i slept fitfully for about 12 hours and still felt extreamly tired when i woke up. i had a coffee and a cigerette, and then another panic attack came on, i thought, thats it, this cant be another one, surely there is something very wrong with me, this one was worse still and i called an ambulance because i felt sure i would die. they told me i was having withdrawel symptoms and it would pass with time, but yeah i still felt not right, very hot all the time and having difficulty breathing, and still was scared to sleep alone, so slept in lounge with tv on and tried to sleep while my friends where still there. the next day, today, i went to work finally, hoping it would be over, but still woke up every 2 hours and felt very tired still. I was able to work for maybe 1 and 1/2 hrs untill i felt compleatly drained of energy and had to sit down, started feeling like i couldnt breath again, started crying and i could barely walk, almost fainted on the walk to the docs...they have given me medication to stop the panic attacks, which has helped a lot, i slept 4 hrs undistubed this arvo, and felt ok with having a disagreement with my sister and a friend (nothing serious) and these did not bring on another attack thank god, but im still feeling very very hot and when i went to bed b4 i felt like my head was extreamly cold inside, but i do not have a fever or anything. right now i feel very hot indeed, and coming onto this site has helped ease my fears greatly that something else is wrong with me. What i want to know is how much longer will this last, and why didnt i have these problems the other times i quit? Is it because the effects become worse the longer you smoke, and ive crossed some invisible line into horrible withdrawel symptoms land? i decided to quit because i realised i have a lot of unresolved hurt and anger from my childhood that has been brought up recently, and that is why i cried and compleatly lost it for the first 2-3 days, and i have made an appointment to see someone in a few weeks, but until then, what? how much longer is this going to last??? I have felt like im losing my mind and i just cant function normally anymore..its not fair why must i go through this hell just to be the real me again, just to be healthy again? I am dreading to think what i would have ended up like if i had continued to smoke for several more years..i would probaly be compleatly nuts by then. i realise now ive been supressing some very intense emotions that are now coming out, but that dosnt mean i have a clue how to handle them, now they are out...im just gonna keep praying that i can once again be a normal, functioning adult again one day..well, ill be better then ever i guess if i can get through this, i can get through anything!
Can anyone relate to my story? How much longer can i expect this to last, and is it because i crossed some line that they are so sever? if only i hadnt started again once id stopped, i wouldnt be in this predicament now....how long will this hell last???????????????? |
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