abortion, coping after an abortion,

hunnie bee · Newbie Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 5

im 17 and had abortion 2 weeks ago. it has turned out to be so hard to deal with. me and my boyfriend love each other very much but we are to young and need a education, money and to b more mature before we have a child, however im so hurt after the abotion, i cant sleep or eat. almost anything will start me off crying. for the first few days i was pleased with my decision but ive started to regret it alot.
please please anyone out there who have had an abortion please let me know if you have come through it ok and are feeling happy, how long does it take to get over it and accept it? if u are pro life i respect your views but i dont need to hear them, thanks x

Carifairy · Veteran Joined: 16 Apr 2006 Posts: 2727

I do not regret my abortion, I actually am very happy that I made that choice.

IT IS 100% OKAY to grieve and feel a loss, Okay? It is okay to mourn and recover, please do not feel like you need to hide anything at all.

With all the mourning though, you should also try to think about the positive things in your life!

YOU can have children! Abortion did not mess up your insides, or screw up your fertility.

High school graduation/College graduation! One day very soon, you will be making a lot of money, and you will be very stable. This stability will allow you to HAPPILY and successfully have a great family.

It is okay to mourn, just remember that you are not a bad person, you are smart, and you can go very far.

Guest · Guest

Hi i had an abortion 23 yrs ago, my life was never the same after i took the life of my unborn baby, i feel the pain in my heart just the same as i did that awful day 23 yrs ago, i will take this grief, loss, saddness,emptyness & emotional torture to the grave with me. i could not have any children after i done this as it made me sterile it damaged both my tubes to the extent that the damage could not be fixed i am nearly 41 now & me & my husband adopted a baby boy hes now 7 years old. i love him to bits but i will never stop grieving for my baby who would have been 23 now.

Guest · Guest

it always gets easier. I've been there. I grieved for a long time. I wasn't myself, I was sad, depressed, angry, regretfull. It was terrible. but as time moved on so did I. I still miss the chance that might have been but I know why I made my descion and I stick with it. It isn't always easier. But it was the appropriate descion for me at the time. Best of luck.

ncardil · Newbie Joined: 15 Feb 2008 Posts: 8

Hey girl...Please consider post abortion counseling. There are many pregnancy crisis centers that offer this free of charge, and free of judgement.
True healing is what your longing for. Time makes things easier, but doesn't heal. Healing comes another way altogether.
Whatever you do, don't push your feelings down, don't ignore them. Fine someone, anyone, that you can talk to about what is going on in your heart.
there is a great book called Forbidden Grief. I forget the author but got it on amazon.com
check it out and best of luck

Guest · Guest

I'm 20yrs old and had an abortion last year. I'm still struggling to cope with it and not a day passes that I dont think about it. I know it's a deep dull pain that seems all consuming and it's so easy to get lost in the grief and uncertainty. I have good weeks, even months but i can have horrible days, hours and months aswell, where coping just seems impossible.
It's true that the relief afterward masks the truth of how painful the experience truly was...
if i had any advice i would send it to you with love and hugs but i can only hope that you find some peace.

Navasbaby · Newbie Joined: 24 Mar 2008 Posts: 3

I am a senior in highschool and I am about to have an abortion... I am scared and confused about the decision. I want to know if i can have a family afterwards and if I can have a normal life with this decision. I am not emotionally or financially ready to have a child and I thought for a while about having it but my boyfriend does not even entertain the idea. Telling my mother was the hardest part but she supports me all the way but I am still scared.... I want to know that I am not a bad person for making this decision and that its normal... I wish there was another solution and I thought about adoption but with college around the corner... If i postpone when I start school I will lose my scholarships and financial aid...I feel selfish and lost.... Can someone please tell me everything is going to be okay?

Sugarkane · Newbie Joined: 11 Mar 2008 Posts: 7 Location: Virginia

Navasbaby....yes you can have a family afterwards. Abortion is one of the safest procedures you could have. Just do what you feel is best. It is totally up to you! No one else. Just remember that it doesn't affect your fertility and someday when you are ready...you can have a perfectly healthy pregnancy. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. No where near as scary actually. I had mine 15 days ago and when it was all over I felt relieved. Best of luck to you!

hunnie bee · Newbie Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 5

hello every body, im "huni bee" i posted the first message about a year ago, just after my abortion. back then i was in a terrible state. but a year on i am doing much better. thanks to everyone who left messages!!!!!

for anyone who wanted to read this post cos they are stuggerling with their abortion, you are NOT alone and you CAN get through this, i think about my baby everyday and i still cry, but i no i can move foward. i am so sad about what happend but i am so greatful for the people and things i do have in mylife. i know i will never fully get over what happend but i know i can learn to live with it.
time is a huge healer, i had aboriton councerling (and still do) it has helped alot.

my heart goes out to anyone whos struggerling, i know how hard it is, i suffered with bulima as a result of the abortion but things are on the mend! take every day as it comes, think about your future and make the most of now.....

look after your selves,
lots of love x

hunnie bee · Newbie Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 5

oh and Navasbaby, listen to your heart, try not to let other peoples opinions ect cloud your own feelings. what ever u decide ull be fine, and if u need some one to talk to who understands ur welcome to message me! x

abortion, coping after an abortion,

LIFEFORM SOCIAL COMMUNITY NETWORK