alcohol withdrawal or/and depression

hi im 30 years old , have been drinking since about 15 or 16 consistently with periods of hard(blackout, sick) to moderate(5 beers) anyway im on 3 weeks of sobriety and this last year i went 3 months (july 2005 on) I havent been real bad this year but it slowly progresses and even a few drinks seem to mess me up mentally (i mean when i am sober) my life is different now i live with my wife of 3 years and have moved across the country and pretty much severed ties with anyone i used to drink with (which is everyone) Visits from friends are what broke my sobriety my wife is supportive and doesnt drink for my sake she used to as well i feel bad about this because of me shes 25 and friends want to hang out and such but usually involves drinking
(god do i feel bad that she haas to put up with me being depressed so often these days) anyway im kinda freaking out right now (i walked out of my job this morning , cant eat or think clear , and this is the most functional thing ive done all day) i also started crying randomly this morning and came home and layed in bed for most of the day Im really confused and thought about killing myself alot recently but cant stand the thought of hurting my wife I just know that things passed last time I went sober after a while and life started to be great I should also mention that as far as career is concerned I am a bicycle mechanic which is the only thing i really want to do - my wife is a dancer (dream job) we have no debt and have the money base covered - i can t figure out why im so depressed and confused i know it could just be alcohol or some sort of chemical imbalance - i dont do any other drugs (havent for years but did at one time ) i dont even smoke i do however want one right now and i drink caffeine like a madman right now which is taking its toll on me as well i just told you my life story short and if anyone has any experience or advice , ideas , or even an idea of anything i could take to help im trying to do this without doctors, drugs, or meetings thanks -b

First of all, I want to say that you are a lucky man to have such a wife and you shouldn’t feel bad about her supporting you. In my opinion, this is what marriage is all about. I think I would do the same and I don’t think that she has a problem with not drinking if it’s helping you, so don’t worry about this and concentrate on your recovery. I would also like to advise you to keep a good communication with your wife and possible talk to her.

There’s a saying: this too shall pass and I am certain that you are going through alcohol withdrawals and that you should be strong especially because you are aware of everything that’s going on with you. Be strong and persistent and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with behavioral treatment (talking to a doctor or a psychiatrist), what is more I often find talking about my problems helpful. It gets the bad thoughts of my mind.

Try walking often or even going swimming, maybe some sort of activity will help you. Do you ride bicycles as well? this is an excellent activity as well.

I am no expert, I just wanted to great you and your attempt and I wanted to say you are lucky to have such supportive wife and that you should hold on to what you have. This bad withdrawal period will eventually go away, and if it doesn’t-there is nothing wrong in asking for medical help. Whatever makes you feel better! I wish you good luck and be smart and persistent!

I admire your persistence and hope you carry on for the sake of others in need of help, including myself. I have encountered similar feelings before. My experiences tell me that an addiction is (many times) replaced w/another addiction (or some kind of side-effect/ reaction). So so (2x) many things I want to say but I think the bottom line would be that one needs to be real with him/herself. I believe happiness and sadness is controlled only by the self and one's own state of mind. Having said that, it is just as easy to falls into depression because of alcohol withdrawals as it is to rejoice in the fact that you know bad, but choose good. Perhaps emotions must be dealt with once a person experiences good/bad events from a drug, but i believe that w/effort, one can gain more positivity in life from abstinence than people who have never experienced the effects of addiction. I am glad that I am able to voice my opinions on this post. Its helping me to realize many things. Thank ya'll.

Alcohol and Depression are like Peanut-butter and Jelly....

Drinking alcohol is a symptom of depression, and/or vice-versa.

Your addiction to alcohol and your depression symptoms are or can be considered causes or symptoms of eachother.

Hmmm..., not much help, right?

Well, chances are that if your life is somewhat in order and you are surrounded by people that love you - some would argue that you are an addict - addicted to alchol. Of course, others would argue that you have some type of chemical imbalance in your brain that causes you to be depressed and, therefore more prone to drinking alcohol to medicate or soothe yourself.

Who knows? Ask me about 10 years ago when I was a die hard AA advocate and on several and many psychiatric drugs to control my moods, feelings and disorders, etc....

Ask me today...., I honestly don't know - and I think that you too should question everything! Today, I'm more addicted to my antidepressant drugs than I ever thought of being to alcohol!!! I've been on Effexor XR for about 7 years now and I can't seem to get off it!

The side effects are far worse than a headache and a hangover! Trying to get of Effexor causes me brain spams, nightmares, sweats, psychosis, delusions, vomiting, abdominal pain, uncontrolled irribility, dizziness, disorientation, and more!!!

So, before you go getting yourself on anti-depressants - know all the facts! And don't, no matter what, ever take Effexor or Paxil!

Don't go to a psychiatrist!!!!!! Go to a psychologist or counselor! Best of luck to you my friend!

I can relate as I too began drinking at an early age 14 or 15. I was never addicted to alcohol in the sense of I craved a drink, I was addicted to the feeling of social belonging and star status I had being the life of the party, hanging out late with the party gang, the happy hour, the event where I was the first to arrive and the last to leave and shaking off shyness with a few drinks so I could turn on the charm with the opposite sex. My self analysis is that all of this was to overcome internal anxiety, insecurities, and shyness; whose roots are difficult to pin point easy to blame on my upbringing and on others. The drinking calmed my nerves and made me feel good speaking my mind and making people laugh. The drinking progressed to spats of extreme consumption, blacking out and eventually a DUI. I have been dry for seven months and Guest is right about antidepressents, very difficult to get off with the side effects. I was on for a year and a half, but I have finally been successful weaning myself from them. I have found emersing myself in challenging physical activites, including biking, weights and others has been a life saver. Join a biking club, you will associate with people who are interested in the same body and mind building activites and in personal physical goals and less in the drinking and partying and ultimate body and mind deteriating activities. Best of luck to you...you seem in tune with your analysis of your own feelings and history and seeking understanding and understanding consequences of addiction on your loved ones. You are likely a highly intelligent and artist individual which are prone to addiction. Love your wife and yourself and establish a new social support system is my suggestion. Give yourself and your talents to the service of others and you will find meaning in life.

I'm 13 days off drink, I'm 39 and have drank since 16...I've done all drugs bar crack and smack, smoked weed for 20 years, had a huge coke problem last year....I've weaned off everything following break up of a long marriage but only recently stopped the drink. The bad days come every 2 or 3 and when they do they are really bad. I do seem to snap in and out of them really quick, but when I'm in them it seems like there is no way out. Don't wanna touch antidepressants but would murder a valium every now and then if I could get my hands on them...doctors don't seem to have a clue, my friends can't be bothered 'cause i'm just a non-drinking killjoy...i have a sussessful self employed career but have become so disinterested in work and just wanna jump on a bus and leave it all behind...god it's hard, and it's a lonely road, but I gotta keep plugging away...respect to all who post on this thread...