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Tonnette
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Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Posts: 1
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 Posted: 06/22/08 - 11:27 Post subject: alcoholic brother and work |
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| My brother will start work on Monday. How can I help him on a day to day basis? His wife and 5 children left him and I try to assist. What can I do to help more? He is sad and now has a DUI. I transport him to work. He gives most of his check to his wife,spends the rest on himself. My mom helps, but he gets drunk and cruses us all out sometimes. I love my brother, but I don't seem to be able to help him. Any suggestions? |
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Joshua572
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Joined: 24 Feb 2008
Posts: 88
Location: COLORADO
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| Posted: 06/22/08 - 11:37 Post subject: |
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| Have you suggested that he has a problem and help him seek out an escape to his problem with alcohol, have him enroll in treatment, where they breath test him daily or randonmly, let him know that the alcohol is probably why his family left him, and now he is losing you guys as his immediate family due to his substance abuse. Tell him the truth when he is sober, not while he is drunk, if it don't work seek out an intervention plan, sometimes the problem is bigger than you think, good luck and much hope from this end. I was there once or twice, maybe even three times. Josh |
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bbfeet9
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Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 770
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| Posted: 06/22/08 - 18:26 Post subject: |
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Take the advice that Joshua572 has given you and then some. This may sound so bad but the best help you can give right now is to stop helping.
Point him in the right direction when he is totally sober, maybe take him to a meeting a few times, you can even take care of his finances from time to time, then...stop. You will have given all the right tools that he needs to get sober, the rest will have to be up to him. You have heard, you can lead a horse to water but you can not make him drink it? That goes the same for any person who has an addiction. I know, my daughter is addicted to heroin and i have tried everything under the sun, but nothing works, not yet any way.
Let him know you love him and that you will support him mentally but you can not be there for him to fall on every time he messes up. Never turn your back, just don't make yourself so available.
You can also go to meetings and they will show you how to deal with this stuff. I bet you the advice that i just gave you will ring in your ears the second time.
You can not make his problem your problem, as you have a life to lead as well. When he starts swearing and being nasty, don't be afraid to call the cops and have him removed from your home. I know you love him, but a nite in the slammer might cool his jets a little and he will think twice before he acts like a fool again. Once he goes before the Judge a few times, he'll behave himself. The courts can also assist you in getting him some help, especially if they see him enough. I don't mean to be crude, but i am in the same boat your in, so to speak.
Good luck to you and your brother. Let us know how his first day on the job went. |
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