Megaroo112
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Joined: 24 Feb 2008
Posts: 1
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 Posted: 02/24/08 - 01:12 Post subject: |
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I am so glad I stumbled upon this thread. I am a "recovered" anorexic...five years now, but I still feel that any moment I could slip back into it. Like many of you, I gained all the weight I lost back, and then some. Technically, I'm 5 lbs over the "upper limit" for my weight range. It was so strange, within a one year time span I had my whole family focused on me, telling me to eat more...and then once I gained weight back they went right back into telling me to 'work out more', 'eat less, 'eat healthy'...just like the did pre-anorexia. It's like they don't realize that they could trigger me any moment. My dad can't have a 2 minute phone conversation without asking me if I worked out that day. It's really painful to think that he wants me to change so much.
I want to lose weight too, I was much happier when I was thinner but I'm VERY scared to get back into that restrictive pattern again. I lost all my friends (as I wouldn't go out to restaurants), had to stop my hobbies (horseback riding, crew, etc) because the doctors wouldn't let me walk more than 15 minutes. I don't know how to lose weight without it turning into my life. I have a very difficult time living in the 'gray'...everything is black and white. I've tried doing the 'gray' thing by slowly building up my working out time or eliminating some bad foods but I don't stick with it because it doesn't feel drastic enough and I don't see results. |
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