been depressed and thinking about suicide

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Hi,
I've been depressed for over five years now and have been in therapy for over a year now. The therapy hasn't done a thing I feel the exact same as I did when i started except know i have to talk to three psychiatrists, a clinical nurse and a GP who I hate because I've told them its not working and there not doping anything. Since I've been seeing them iv atempted suicide 6 times and been thinking about it again. I was hoping someone could tell me something that could be done to batter the situation. Recently I've been hearing myself saying things, in my head that I cant control, about me.

Ps' I'm not on medication

txmom · Newbie Joined: 11 Sep 2007 Posts: 12

You asked for help, so I will try with my two cents. I don't know you, so none of this is personal.

If one person isn't helping, maybe seek help from someone else. If you keep finding that people aren't helping you, then maybe you aren't letting them. Don't blame yourself for the way you feel. But take responsibility for the actions that will lead to feeling better.

You're not alone. There is someone who can help. Doctor. Counselor. Friend. Help phone line. Parent. Hospital. Church. Neighbor.

You will be ok if you let go and have faith.

annie1 · Newbie Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 28

You need to try CBT . Read my note at the bottom of this thread:

http://www.steadyhealth.com/viewtopic.php?t=131543&hpr=Uncontrolled_suicide_thoughts

Good luck and realize you can feel better!

Iloveanna · Newbie Joined: 02 Feb 2008 Posts: 7

Ya dude I know how u feel I'm also very depressed just try something like a sport or something bc I personaly councleing doesn't work ive gone before and nothing they say helps. Goodluck and dont kill ur self

Tanya Tharpe · Newbie Joined: 22 Feb 2008 Posts: 15

Wow are we twins because Im feeling everything u are.Nobody hears what you are saying and your practically screaming and all the talk that u do get isnt helping.I know what u are going through cuz I have attempted suicide myself and right after i swallowed all the pills I changed my mind and said something to whoever was there to call 911.I was as close to death as u could be and they got me breathing again by machine of course. All I can say is u need to talk to people who get u and not people with textbook experience cuz if they havent ever experienced what we have how can they come up with a solution?I just got diagnosed with bipolar disorder but I self diagnosed myself years ago.Im on 100mgs of seraquel and feeling way worse4 than i was before. Evil is seeping into my brain by the minute telling me why I should just end it cuz nobody gets me.I need desperately to talk to someone on my side who feels what Im feeling cuz I cant take much more of the people around me saying they understand when they dont.

Tanya Tharpe · Newbie Joined: 22 Feb 2008 Posts: 15

Wow are we twins because Im feeling everything u are.Nobody hears what you are saying and your practically screaming and all the talk that u do get isnt helping.I know what u are going through cuz I have attempted suicide myself and right after i swallowed all the pills I changed my mind and said something to whoever was there to call 911.I was as close to death as u could be and they got me breathing again by machine of course. All I can say is u need to talk to people who get u and not people with textbook experience cuz if they havent ever experienced what we have how can they come up with a solution?I just got diagnosed with bipolar disorder but I self diagnosed myself years ago.Im on 100mgs of seraquel and feeling way worse4 than i was before. Evil is seeping into my brain by the minute telling me why I should just end it cuz nobody gets me.I need desperately to talk to someone on my side who feels what Im feeling cuz I cant take much more of the people around me saying they understand when they dont. Crying or Very sad

Tanya Tharpe · Newbie Joined: 22 Feb 2008 Posts: 15

The thing Im noticing is we are all feeling these weird and almost unexplainable feelings and here we are expressing them to each other and it kinda feels better to hear Im not alone yet going deeper into my twisted soul I still want to take my life and for what?whats that going to do but hurt everyone around us who cares.I dealt with 2 VERY INTENSELY years recently and 4 of my close friends took their lives and my evil side says go ahead and do it so I can be with them and my good side says not to cuz it would crush so many people.So everyday I pretty much wake up in tears fighting myself about what I should do and it shouldnt have to be like this.Im sick of thinking about death this way.I dont fear much in life.I fear myself the most cuz i am my own enemy and that ***** my head up in so many ways.I wander around aimlessly in my home cuz I cant hold down a steady job.And thats ok but I need to be around people cuz my sanity depends on socialization or lack of.I just moved to the country fom the city and I love the quietness but I miss people.I have no friends who I can talk to when I need to except 4 my dog-Sierra and thank god for her cuz shes been my saving grace when I dont want to be here any longer.I refuse 2 pay a therapist to listen to me cuz 4 one Im a broke ***** and I dont trust them.So if anyone wants to chat about anything at all please feel free cuz my lifes wide open for anyone and anything!!!! Crying or Very sad

**edited by moderator**

JR1 · Supporter Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 97

I agree that you need to try cbt and get out of talk therapy which did nothing for me. If suicidal thoughts are plaguing you the suicide chapters in the book by Sam Obitz are really helpful. You can and will feel better.

Helpingboy · Newbie Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 5

Hi I have felt depression before, but obviously the depressions you guys are going through are on a whole different league compared to what i went through, since I never actually felt like taking my own life. Since I dont want to sound ignorant when trying to give suggestions, I would like to gain better insight on the level of depressions you are going through. So please answer some of my question so I can better understand what you are going through. I always believed feeling depressed had some kind of reason or cause related to it even if the depression was genetics related i thought it took somekind of negative event to actually trigger depression in any human being. Am i right in beliveing this? Also If one could identify this cause or reason and took measures to fix it you could take care of your depression problems. Am I right in thinking this? I also thought that the time a person will realize that they are not depressed anymore is when they are truly happy. So eliminating depression is closely related to keeping yourself happy. Am i right? Also according to me depression is in a way natures way of saying you have a debt to pay mainly to youself. Because depression is like a natural motivator that keeps egging you to take care of your problems. So even if you take medications from psychiatrists the depression may go away, but the real life problems that actually cause these depression still exist and giving birth to more feelings of depression. The real bad thing about depression is that it is really hard to focus in solving your problems and constantly makes you want to give up any kind of hope. But I personally think if you could develop the kind of will that lets go of fear or regrets you could cope with the negative effects of depression, atleast to a point where being depressed wont be your biggests of problems anymore. yea.. sorry for the essay but please respond to this and tell me all the things i am possibly overlooking on my viewpoint of depression Thank you.

JR1 · Supporter Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 97

Helpingboy I think you are on the right track. There are different kinds and levels of depression and meds can help with many of them but until you deal with the underlying causes you are likely doomed to repeat them. Most anxiety and depression are caused by the inaccurate processing of our thoughts and once we learn to think more accurately and stop making the common thinking errors our problems are solved. That's why I think cbt is so important if you want to get better. Once you learn the exercises and use them you will have them for the rest of your life.

been depressed and thinking about suicide

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