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chirusa84
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Joined: 28 Jul 2006
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 Posted: 07/28/06 - 19:07 Post subject: can't cum with my boyfriend, ONLY when i masturbate. HELP! |
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| it seems like i can only cum when i play with myself in a certain way. my boyfriend has tried repeatedly and in different ways to make me cum cause he thinks that when you cum it's cause the other person pleases you. im pleased with what he does but i can't seem to cum at all. what's wrong with me? and how can i change this without hurting my boyfriend's feelings? and does this mean that i haven't really known how to cum?[/i] |
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nomorenookie4me
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Joined: 13 Jul 2006
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| Posted: 07/29/06 - 16:53 Post subject: |
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No, this doesnt mean you dont KNOW how to cum. (Theres no such animal.) Basically, if youre pleased with his performance, your closer than you think. 
Women take longer than men to get warmed up, but once you do, you begin, and the guys headed toward the finish line. So, I suggest, engaging in intense passionate foreplay and kissing first. Oral stimulation is a good way. When you are really'WET' and ready then he should penetrate. He should already have the condom on because if a woman pauses, she has to start all over again. Tell him to slow down or speed up to a pace that gives you the most stimulation.
Try doggy style. Its prime for stimulation to both parties. Tantric sex is whn you penetrate but dont stroke until you BOTH are good and ready to. Try that. Dont concentrate on cuming. Clear your mind of all things except the physical act going on and think only of your reponses to whats happening. Girl on top with him helping form the bottom works well too. Its just a time conscious situtation. Good Luck and Good Orgasm!!!  |
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TOM1
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Joined: 29 Jul 2006
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| Posted: 07/29/06 - 19:19 Post subject: |
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Im no expert but i believe only about 3 in 10 women can orgasm during sexual intercourse. Its is a myth that all woman have huge great moaning orgasms.
Once you are both a bit more familiar and relaxed with each other your boyfriend may be able to get you to cum using his fingers or orally.
Hey, these things take time.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Tom |
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megan_941
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Joined: 29 Jul 2006
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| Posted: 07/30/06 - 03:23 Post subject: |
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| I have the same exact problem and it frustrates me so badly when he gets off from sex and I can't, and then it puts him in a bad mood and kind of ruins the moment. Try it doggy style but use a small vibrater on yourself, as he is getting you from behind, lay with your butt up and your head on the pillow, and then use 1 or both hands to pleasure yourself with just like you were masterbating, you'll orgasm and its better then cumming just from sex or just a vibrator! |
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azthenia
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Joined: 03 Aug 2006
Posts: 175
Location: Moncton, NB, Canada
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| Posted: 08/09/06 - 17:51 Post subject: |
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| My husband and I just have oral sex and it makes me cum every single time. But during sex I never have been able to. |
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Guest
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| Posted: 11/04/06 - 16:19 Post subject: help |
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| hi i am trying to cum all the time but i get wet but never actuallyt cum can any1 help?? |
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Guest
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| Posted: 11/21/06 - 11:29 Post subject: Re: can't cum with my boyfriend, ONLY when i masturbate. HEL |
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| chirusa84 wrote: | | it seems like i can only cum when i play with myself in a certain way. my boyfriend has tried repeatedly and in different ways to make me cum cause he thinks that when you cum it's cause the other person pleases you. im pleased with what he does but i can't seem to cum at all. what's wrong with me? and how can i change this without hurting my boyfriend's feelings? and does this mean that i haven't really known how to cum?[/i] |
i have the same problem i keep thinkin there is something wrong with me |
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Ready_Lube
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Joined: 11 Apr 2006
Posts: 227
Location: AZ
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| Posted: 11/22/06 - 14:42 Post subject: |
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First off, you must be completely relaxed and feel very comfortable with who you are with and where you are at. When you touch yourself and make yourself cum I willing to bet it's when your relaxed and calm and have no worries on your mind at the time.
Many women have a hard time reaching orgasim yes, but I do not think that is the case with you. Knowing that everytime you have sex with your bf his goal is to make you cum and if he doesn't then he will be mad or upset is very stressfull.
I suggest you show him what makes you cum and have him watch you then join in. He needs to know that it has nothing to do with him being a "man", he is no less of a man at all. People are all different and you two just need to get to know each others bodies better. Communication is the key 
I hope this help! |
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| Posted: 11/28/06 - 00:27 Post subject: Get "New Sex Now" DVD from Amazon.com |
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| It's all about trust. When you trust your partner, you are able to relax. Have him watch the DVD/Video called "New Sex Now". Then have a few "sessions" where he places his focus SOLELY on you with nothing for him. Once you trust this, that he genuinely wants to please you because he loves you and then it will open the trust and it'll just come naturally. It works! |
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| Posted: 11/28/06 - 10:00 Post subject: |
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| I have never cum from oral or sex for that matter until a couple of weeks ago. I have been doing it to myself for years so it's frustrating. It happened when I was on top. I guess this is called froggy, I had my legs pulled up. I was kind of grinding him as he was penetrating. |
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