have i been molested, and is it my fault

amber baker · Guest

Hie my name is Amber Baker and i remember when i was around 5 years old my older brother use to force me to do things that i never done. My MOTHER never taught me anything about sex nor rape. I remember being home with my older brother by our selves, my mom was never home she always went out. My brother forced his self on top of me and he put his thing inside of me, he use to do this to me almost everyday when i was 5 up to 7 or 8 years old, he told me to never tell anyone. I never like it when he done that to me it hurted so so much, but i never understood it until now that i am 16 years old, and everytime i think about i start to cry and i get depressed. I finally told my mom last month but she dont believe me she says that im a lair and it really hurted me when she said that. It hurts when someone takes your innocence and it hurts when no one believes you. My mother dont even talk to me any more and sometimes i wish that i was dead and never been born. i realy need help and i wish the thoughts would go away. i feel so guilty because i think it is my fault that it happened. Now im bleeding on the inside and crying on the out, and part of me is missing and no one will listen Sad

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andie37 · Newbie Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 1

how can i tell you that in years from now things will be better for you? I was raped by my older brother (he is 8 yrs older than me)from the time i was 5 till 13. My mother knew about it when my older sister finally told her. All my mother did was spank him and tell him to leave us girls alone. I felt like a piece of meat thrown to the wolf. My mother never did anything to get us girls help. Her excuse was that it was done to him by my grandfather so it wasn't his fault. I don't believe that. We are all responsible for our own actions...i stopped ALL contact with my parents for 5 years. And my self imposed family restrictions did nothing to get the point across that i was raped and it was covered up my entire life. My parents and i have a verbal relationship, but it will never be what it should be. Nor do i care for it to be anything more than what it is. I haven't spoken to their son in 24 years. The worst part is he now has an infant daughter and a son 2 1/2. I know he will/has been molesting them....what can i do to stop him? Tell everyone...teachers, friends, police...anyone who will listen!
And be ready to be made fun of, bad names, criticised and everyother degrading thing that can be done to a human being. You are not at fault, he is and your mother is and every other adult who has let this happen to you.
Honey, get help and get away from your mother and brother as soon as you can. And never go back to them. They will continue to eat away at what is left of you of you don't.
Also take some self defense classes...and if you can get away with it...tell NO ONE that you are taking them. Abusers go after people who they think they can control and humiliate. Imagine his surprise the next time he comes to rape you again when you kick his ass...then call the police and be finished with the rapist.
Be strong....be confident...and when you can, get the hell out of there and never go back.

connor morrow · Newbie Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 2 Location: UK

RAINN - Rape Abuse Incest National Network (US) - **edited by moderator ** web addresses not allowed**
RapeCrisis (UK) - **edited by moderator ** web addresses not allowed**

The telephone number for RAINN is 1-800-656-HOPE.
Hope this helps...

pinkprincess · Newbie Joined: 08 Sep 2007 Posts: 40

I am truly sorry to hear of your bad experiences. Your brother is sick and obviously needs help, but that is not something you need to help him with.
I am truly irritated that your mother doesnt believe you. My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry you feel so alone and cry often.
Yes you were molested.
Please know this you are not alone, this has happened to many of us. Together we know each other's pain. Please do not blame yourself, you did nothing wrong.
It took me years and years to know that it wasnt my fault and I too felt guilty.
You did the right thing by reaching out and not continuing to bottle it up inside.
Please know there are ways for you to cope. There is therapy and support groups, but this is not for everybody, so start by writing your feelings down, this can be a way to release some of your pain. Its like giving your pain a place to stay instead of inside you.
Although you will never forget what happened and nor get over it. You can do things to cope and begin to recover.
Please know you are not alone.
Take care of yourself sweetie.

Guest · Guest

celestial_kel · Newbie Joined: 17 Mar 2008 Posts: 5

I was so depressed to read this, because when I was 7, my father molested me! He never had actual sex with me, just rubbing and masterbating in front of me! I felt dirty and ashamed for years and it really killed my self esteem for the longest time! But, I got counseling later and now I no longer feel as bad as before because I know it was not my fault! I finally told my mother and child services had him investigated because I didn't want it to happen to my younger sister as well! You are a victim of a very selfish act on your brother's part and I am so sorry you went through that! Do not blame yourself....please seek counseling now so that you can work through your feelings and come to grips with this and eventually move on. My thoughts are with you!

Tracy Roberts · Newbie Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 4

Hi Amber, I was abused for years by my step dad he also did the same to my sisters. We never told anyone or each other that it was happing. It was only when I was sixteen that I told my mum she too did not believe me and thought that I was making it up. We had the police come to the house and take me into care thinking I was lying. It was only when my older sister told my mum that he too had done thing to her for years that I was believed. Don’t worry she will believe you its hard for your mum to understand that her son who she too loves as much as you has done something so terrible. Go and talk to her again if she does not respond then I would suggest you call the police and report it I would suggest you do this anyway to prevent future abuse to his own children, family or Friends. If you let it go and don’t say anything it’s like you have condoned it and all the future abuse its hard to tell the police when its family, your torn between love and hate. I hope all goes well for you and you can sort everything out be positive and stand up for all those young children that can not stand up and say what’s happing.

HMK · Posted: 04/23/08 - 19:46 Post subject:

Dear Amber, I am so sorry to hear about what happend to you. Please trust me when i say you are not alone. I was sexually abused for years by my uncle, then raped by a boyfriend, and then again sexually abused by an older cousin of mine. Not to mention physical and mental abuse I suffered for 7 years from my mother's now exboyfriend. I always felt alone and I really didn't know how to tell anyone. I was sure that everything that happend to me was my fault. At the same time, I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. Which I couldn't see the reason for everything i went through. I finally told my mother, who was shocked about my uncle, but I felt like she didn't quite believe me. She never listened to me about her boyfriend either. Mostly because she never saw it and he put on a really great front around everyone. After the crap with my uncle finally came to an end, it took me about 2 years to get to the point where I didn't wanna just curl up and die. Then after the other crap happend, I started thinking about it all over again. I still sometimes have dreams about the crap I had to deal with and think about it when I see something or read something that brings back memories.

So, i'd like to say one day you'll forget all about it, but I wont lie to you. It's not going to be easy and you will always have those thoughts and memories in the back of your head. I wish I could lend you my shoulder to cry on so you didn't feel so alone, I wish I would have had a shoulder when i had to deal with this. I am truely sorry for what happend to you Amber. IT WAS IN NO WAY YOUR FAULT!! PLEASE BELIEVE THAT AMBER!!

As I said before, i have always believed that everything happens for a reason... I never got the reason for what I went through until about 8 years ago. I was about 12 or 13 when i finally came up with a reason. In my mind I decided that everything that I went through, protected other siblings, family members, and close friends from having to go through it. Not that I believe it should have happend to me or should ever happen to anyone. But this my logic in my head, it made it a little easier for me, saying that yes I was hurt, but I very well might have saved the people I love from being hurt.

Also when I was around 13, I made a decesion that many others, probably wouldn't have made. I decided that if I could go back and not have any of that crap happen to me. If I could live a happy child hood with a mom and a dad (my sperm doner left when I was 3) and just was able to be a kid, instead of growing up so fast. Would I do it? NO, I HAD A REALLY HARD TIME GROWING UP, I NEVER THOUGHT LIFE WAS FAIR, AND ALWAYS FELT LIKE THE OUTSIDER. BUT I AM A REALLY STRONG PERSON BECAUSE OF THE CRAP I WENT THROUGH!! I HAVE A HAPPY LIFE NOW, AND I WOULD NOT CHANGE MY PAST IF I COULD!!

ONCE AGAIN I AM SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPEND TO YOU AMBER, IT'S NOT FAIR, AND IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE NOT ALONE JUST KEEP THAT IN MIND MY DEAR!!

HMK

meanne2007 · Newbie Joined: 02 Jun 2008 Posts: 20

I am women, i know what you feel.....i think if your mom doesn't believe you, just go to some of the social consultation that could help you..they are the people whom i think would understand and believe you

Kendils · Newbie Joined: 29 May 2008 Posts: 15

REMEMBER ITS NEVER EVER EVER YOUR FAULT.

ITS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOUR BROTHER IS SICK

u need to tell someone u trust, which would not be your mom.
its never your fault that u were raped. never ever ever.
my heart goes out u to
get back to me alright??

btw my names kendra

have i been molested, and is it my fault

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