is this sexual intercourse?

justarry · Newbie Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 8

I didn't have sex be4 this. just recently, my b/f placed his penis into me, but only half of it since this was the first time and it was new. there was a little bit of penetration, but not for long. Since I'm new at this, I am curious as to whether this is only an introduction/experimenting, or do you consider this actual sex? I would like to know what to expect, and if full penetration might feel somewhat like this? It hurt and i felt pain for several hours afterward. Thanks. I'm clueless.

Monkey293 · Supporter Joined: 22 Apr 2008 Posts: 179

you had sexual intercourse - any vaginal penetration counts as this.

full penetration will feel the same but you may feel uncomfortable - best thing to do is relax and use some lube such as ky jelly.

have fun!

justarry · Newbie Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 8

Thanks so much for your reply, MOnkey 293. I've never gotten a plain answer on this that actually answered my question! You're great. you've helped me out. IT seems like a dumb question, but believe me, for the first time, I just had no clue whether what I did is what i could expect. Knowing what to expect helps me to relax.

Kirk C · Moderator Joined: 28 Apr 2008 Posts: 751

Yes, you've had intercourse. The number of inches is not an issue. You've had penetration.

I hope that you two are using protection. Even a little intercourse can be enough to result in pregnancy. It doesn't matter if it felt good, or if he came or if he pulled out quickly.

As for how it feels, penetration will generally feel the same, as the nerve endings are mostly in the outer third of the vagina. However, with greater sexual excitement, which can come from being more relaxed or into it, you can expect greater lubrication. You can also used a personal lubricant to help things along. I am confident this will make things feel better.

But the key here is to make sure that either he's wearing a condom, or that you two are practicing birth control. If you're not ready to take that step, you're not ready to take the first step. No matter how "into it" you may be.

Good luck.

justarry · Newbie Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 8

Thank you taking the time! This is helpful. I didn't know what to expect, and when we tried it again, I felt the lubricration inside me, although I didn't use any extra lubricant. It was weird and didn't hurt as much once it was inside. just in the beginning when he was inserting. Sometimes I push him out for some reason.
I wasn't sure if the lubrication feeling was normal. At one point, it felt like i had to go to the bathroom and was scared that I would actually go and was embarrassed. I didn't realize sex could be this stressful.
I will look into birth control, but he has been withdrawing before any precum.

Monkey293 · Supporter Joined: 22 Apr 2008 Posts: 179

hey! no worries we are here to help Smile

i would definitely use some protection and fast if you dont want to get pregnant - there is sperm in precum as well as full blown ejaculate and even if he pulls out some will still leak out!

if you dont want to use condoms get yourself on the pill - it will make you happier in the long run!

glad things are going well for you Smile

Kirk C · Moderator Joined: 28 Apr 2008 Posts: 751

Glad to hear things are going more smoothly.

You'll find the more turned on and relaxed you are, the more lubricant your body will produce. If you're still having difficulty with his insertion, stop and wait until you're more turned on. He should be patient, with little in and out movements, but you're in charge. If you say wait, he waits!

You can speed this process along by using lube from a store...KY Jelly is good. There's a whole range of personal lubricants now.

However, I must point out that birth control is not something you can wait on. The fact that he pulled out is not a safe form of birth control.

You have NO idea what his penis is doing, emitting, dripping, lubricating or spewing once he's inside. INSIST that there be no penetration without either a condom or birth control of some form IN PLACE. A claim that he pulls out before pre-cum oozes is just not smart. He may have the best of intentions, but you may already be pregnant.

Start birth control now!

As far as feeling that you might pee... I understand that's normal. And you can lessen that feeling by emptying the bladder before you start having sex. Otherwise, keep a towel handy and enjoy it. Some couples find that form of response to be very gratifying.

And as for pushing him out, well, take your time. Your body may not be used to something coming in that way, and it's normal to have some resistance. Again, tell him to cool it until YOU are ready. YOU are in the drivers seat, ma'am!

justarry · Newbie Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 8

Thank You so much, Monkey 293 and Kirk G for your help. Amazingly, even with friends and family, there is no one who was able to address these real concerns. It seems people don't talk about it. Even though everyone acts like they know what sex is, no one has given me point blank answers to help my anxiety level. I would've been very confused ! thanks a lot for your time. I'm hoping i can help someone else in the future like you guys have for me.
I guess i was somewhat more relaxed this time around, since i felt the lubrication.
I will look into birth control now.
I didn't know the having to pee feeling was normal. But, does that mean ppl actually pee if not careful? Is that feeling real, and is there a chance I will urinate during sex? i've never heard of that!
This whole process is so hard for me since it's a new feeling. The second time around, my actual vagina didn't feel the pain (yea!) hours afterward, but instead, other muscles of my body are very very sore! (thighs, abs, arms....) sigh.

Guest · Guest

Well, there seems to be some doubt about this.

Some women claim this is natural feeling when coming,
and others dread it.

Some women don't worry about it, and if their orgasm takes them there, so be it. Just put down some towels.

Also, there is some debate whether some women are peeing (some minor escape of urine) or if it's some other form of ejaculate or thin watery lube.

I don't know the answer, as I'm male. But I can tell you my wife of 30 years has just recently experienced some of this sensation also. So, it may be something that comes and goes with the intensity of the orgasm, of the stimulation, or with the maturity/aging of the body.

Sorry I can't be of more help.
Perhaps you could get more assistance in the women's section of this website.
Good luck.

justarry · Newbie Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 8

Thank you for your reply. You are right; i still am not sure. Thanks for sharing about your wife. I don't know whether having to pee is supposed to be a natural feeling or it's an "orgasm" feeling. I wish i knew. i am so new at this and still have not had sex since my last post since I am not on birth control yet.. and am still nervous.

is this sexual intercourse?

LIFEFORM SOCIAL COMMUNITY NETWORK