pregnancy and abortions

all500 · Newbie Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 1

when i was 17 i had an abortion, i really wanted to have the baby but the guy was cheating on me and i realised i couldnt do have one alone. and now 2 years ago i think i might be pregnant again, ive been getting sick and dizzy and my back hurts and i have heart burn, i have taken a pregnancy test and it showed up negitive (but that happened 2 years ago when i took one, even tho i was) and i dont know if i could go thru with an abortion again, i felt so awful after and i still do. my bf has alot going for him and i feel if i have this kids now it will take away alot of the things he has worked so hard for (im only 19 and hes 21) and he isnt ready to have a kid, neither am i, but i dont know if i can go through another abortion. would it make me a bad person for having 2? im scared people will look at me like im awful but...i know i cant raise a kid...urgh, im so scared and confused

ImmortalOne · Gold Member Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Posts: 437

First of all, if your boyfriend has a lot going for him or not, he has a voice. Do not take that away from him. You really need to talk to him about it, and what is going on. Let him know it is a possibility but not confirmed. He may surprise you. It may be your body, yes I do not disagree with you on that, but the father should have some form of rights as well. Not many people are "ready" to be parents when they are, but the situation does not always work out in the worst, in fact it sometimes is the best times of their lives and makes them realize what ends up being most important. People grow up, or it is the hope they do, when they have children you and your boyfriend are no different. Having a baby changes a lot of things, but it does not mean it is the end of the world, only the beginning of a new one.

As far as having 2 abortions... personally i believe that you should have learned the last time about the risks you are taking. This is something you could have prevented if you are pregnant. You had the opportunity to be responsible before the possibility of being pregnant it is called using a condom, the pill, and other devices to avoid getting pregnant. After the 1st one, some people believe that women are using abortion as birth control, no matter what some pro-abortion people will say.

You say you felt awful and that it still bothers you, there is a reason for that, and you should listen to your heart and head at the same time if you are pregnant. Also, remember, there are always options for adoption. So many couples cannot have children, but want them and are prepared for them.

Ultimately the choices are yours, before, during, and after. Don't leave your boyfriend out of the decision making, and if you choose to care for the child and he doesn't, don't let him force his will upon you. There are some of us who are single parents, and do an excellent job, our children are raised well. I was a single parent from the time I was 17 till I was 19, then from 25 till 30. It's possible, and just because he doesn't want a family, there are plenty of men as time goes on who accept the "ready made" family situation.

Carifairy · Veteran Joined: 16 Apr 2006 Posts: 2727

I do not believe that ANY number of abortions make you a terrible or bad person.
I have had 3, and I owrk for an abortion clinic, so I am very open minded and nonjudgemental.

You really need to focus on YOU and what YOU want, and how to take care of yourself if you wish to continue a pregnancy.

IT IS 100% Okay if you do not feel like you can have an abortion, it is also 100% okay if you feel like abortion is right for you.

LOOK DEEP INSIDE OF YOURSELF. Do not worry about other peoples criticism or what they think you, ONLY YOUR thoughts about you matter.

What do you want?

Guest · Guest

i think u should keep this baby. who knows this child might be the one to find a cure to one of our most deadly diseases.no matter if u not ready u can still try dont go through the hurt u had the frist time with the last chill. me personal didnt have an abortions and never will if i laid down and got pregnant im going to take care of mines!!!!!!!! Even if i was raped i would keep my child and a suggestion u can give the baby up for adoption!!!!!!!! Surprised

please keep it!!!!!!!!!!!! Crying or Very sad

bbfeet9 · Posted: 04/01/08 - 07:01 Post subject:

You are not a bad person. You are one of Gods children. You made a mistake. Not everyone will agree with you or your decisions.
I myself had 2 abortions. One when i was in my teens and the other in my early 30's. But i am a good person.
I know you have a lot on your plate at this time, but let me say something that you know must have been comming. Get on birth control. Go to Planned Parenthood. You wouldn't have to worry about this stuff again. Abortions can really affect us, mentally for a long time.
I think that you should include the dad in this picture. What are his feelings? What would he say or do if you did this behind his back? You know he will find out, eventually. But the final decision is yours. And what ever one that is, you are not a bad person.

pregnancy and abortions

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