quitting smoking cigarettes and pot at same time

hokusai · Newbie Joined: 02 Apr 2008 Posts: 2 Location: USA

Has anyone been through the experience of quitting smoking both cigarettes and pot at the same time? A daily user of about 10 years for both, i quit smoking pot 2-3 months ago, I didn't ever record when I officially did, but I then quit smoking cigarettes 1 month and 1 week ago, cold turkey. I didn't realize until just last week, that I may have, or have rather, had an attitude and "unfriendly" manner since I quit, moreso after the cigarettes. I think I have distanced myself from my boyfriend of 5 years, and have been brushing him off and not paying so much attention, I think I seem kind of mean, mostly to him, not as much to anyone else. I can't believe it's taken me so long to connect these. But now I wonder, what kind of affect has this had on our sex life, or my sex drive? I think there are other reasons it started to decrease last year, but there was a dramatic change in the past few months. I really have no desire to do anything, it seems to be more of a bother than a pleasure. And what's weird is, it isn't bad, it's always good, it still lasts a while and I'm, we, are still quite satisfied. It's not that he bores me, I couldn't care to have sex with anyone when I feel that way. I'm upset that he thinks it's him, all his fault and that I don't love him or like to be with him, and that's not it. After 5 years, things have slowed down a little, but not so drastically until recently, and I just don't feel that it's a loss of interest in each other. Can the combination of quitting two orally fixated type habits at the same time, have double the bad side effects or additional effects not common to one or the other? Has anyone been through this? I feel irritable, more self conscious, have an increased appetite and a decreased sex drive, all as my majpr concerns. Any words of wisdom from similar situations?

karl.kk66 · Newbie Joined: 15 Dec 2007 Posts: 6

hi i also am AGAIN quitting cigs and weed at the same time.. this time as with the other times my sex drive has decreased substantially.. i think because of the trauma our bodies are going thru.. remember sex is usually i believe something we do when we feel good.. when i feel like crap smoking or not smoking high or not high i dont want sex.. i am not a doctor or an analist but maybe your relationship is just a little stale.. i know that i smoked a ton of weed towards the end of my last relationship before having sex or i just could not get motivated to even touch my girlfriend... why? the relationship was crap.. i needed weed to make it possible for me to fantasise enough to get it up.. lets face it its hard to stay excited about having sex with someone for ten millionth time.. no matter how deeply you love them.. sex was the only glue holding our relationship together.. and the only way i could get into it was to get out of it with a huge joint.. lets face it drugs make us horny.. also i found that guilt made it even worse.. ie you feel like shit you dont want sex your partner is laying a guilt trip on you.. saying things like.. why dont i turn you on.. its because of me.. im not sexy... you should say.. please i just quit 2 habits that have been part of my life for longer than i care to remember.. its gonna take a while and some readjustments in our relationship before i wanna screw you again..if ever at all...this isnt about him its about you.. dont get wasted to bang your boyfriend just cause he is needy.. you will both suffer in the end..do your best to explain.. if he cannot accept it then you are gonna have to make a decision.. i think what iam trying to say in a round about fashion is.. we smoke and do drugs so as not to have to face up to certain truths that sit uncomfortably with us.. when we decide to quit it because we no longer want to hide we want to face up and overcome.. this is not gonna be easy.. dont look for an easy way out.. you are clean now and things are different.. maybe you just dont want him anymore now that your reality has changed.. so work it out or move on life is just to damn short...
karl

hokusai · Newbie Joined: 02 Apr 2008 Posts: 2 Location: USA

Thanks for your feedback. How many times have you done this before, and how long did it last? I did not reveal all the factors in my life that could possibly be related, but the comments from you make sense in the general subject. He has quit smoking pot with me, and has the same history, but he just hasn't quit smoking cigarettes yet like me. Do you have any suggestions, besides time, to help pick things up in the meantime, I guess for me mentally? Anything besides other substances? Anything worked out well for you? Thanks again for this input karl.

karl.kk66 · Newbie Joined: 15 Dec 2007 Posts: 6

i have done this 4 times over a period of 28 years.. each time i went back to it it was the worst thing i could have done.. what ever you do dont substitute with any other substances.. you probably dont want to hear it but excercise does help the libido a bunch.. just dont go crazy in the gym.. and dont get addicted to excercise cause if all of a sudden you injure yourself or it is impossible to make it to the gym.. you will start craving and it could bring on a relapse..( experience tells me this) try not to be fanatical about anything.. perfectionist thinking can get you into trouble also.. but 1 thing you can be fanatical about just dont smoke, that is all you MUST DO.. you hear on many websites " hey dont beat yourself up if you have a slip" that is bullshit.. it is giving you the option of a little relapse.. and a little relapse in my experience is always a few years of misery size relapse..
quitting together with your boyfriend is a double edged sword.. if 1 of you goes down the other usually follows... but it can help to know someone is with you and can understand.. (nothing ever seems to be straight forward huh) but he is still on the cigs... so he is substituting.. i bet he smokes cigs like there is no tomorrow.. thats not good for you..i am sure you must feel a little resentfull.. cigarettes are harder than weed to quit.. if i could bargain with the devil i would say i will give up everything that harms me if i could just have my cigarretes.. cant do that though (unfortunately).... i feel you care about your man a lot.. but this really is your battle.. and if you dont feel for something, like i already said.. dont do it... heart felt comunication will always in any situation in life help... resentments fester into anger.. try to get things out into the open.. try not to blurt it out though.. think things thru.. there is a huge gap that needs to be filled in your life now.. you cant just stop with your habits without replacing them with something thats good.. say this to yourself.. " how about me doing something good for myself for a change" for me i found a challenge that was big enough to be more desirable than getting wasted.. and i want it so bad.. so bad... and i know that if i start back down that old road again i will NEVER get what i desire.. for some people faith in a higher power helps.. this is no good for me personally as i dont believe in fairy tales.. i believe i was dead for a few million years then i was born.. 1 day i will be gone for eternity.. the precious moments in between is my life.. i want to experience it the best i can as healthy as i can be.. there is so much crap that can happen to us without us pumping poison into ourselves to make it more hazardous... follow your heart girl.. be true to yourself and realise sometimes you may just change your mind for no apparent reason.. 1 chance only.. your alive so live.. i dont know what else to say regarding picking yourself up mentally.. find something that is precious to you..if you are being true with yourself then never let another person (not anyone) tell you that your on the wrong path.. because noone knows diddly at the end of the day about whats in your heart... as much as i am writing this for you i am writing it to myself also.. remember! heart felt communication..

hope this helps..

karl

Confused

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ive never smoked anything, i just found this site when i looked up on google what it does to smoke both at the same time, considering my girlfriend of a year did it before we met and shes a good amount older than i am so i was trying to show her why she shouldnt do that. people that smoke just bother me. no offense but it seems almost trashy to me. but you say youre quitting. thats great! i think pot is for people who have nothing going for them and just want to feel like they succeed in their own eyes when they cant succeed to anyone else. and cigarettes are for people who want to be cool because everyone else is doing it. again, sorry if that seems like im bashing you but what im getting at is, if you quit then you have something. maybe you might not find it if you lived youre life smoking too much to see it all along, but youll notice it in due time and youll be happy you gave it up. i dont have to know you to believe that youll make a better person in the end. and to reply to hokusai, youre probably just going through a withdrawal stage. conquer that and you will end up a better person and gf. it could be that or possibly that the person youre now becoming is just the person you naturally are underneath the fake happiness youve been having for the past 10 years. know that getting rid of these things could possibly save your life as well...so be proud and dont let this take over you.

quitting smoking cigarettes and pot at same time

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