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I'm 30 years old, male and in good health. I have a reasonably good job and I also run a part-time business that I enjoy, which makes a bit of money. I am pretty close to my family, I own my own house and some great friends.

I am a guy who i don't want to be. I am gay and I want to stop being this guy since it is not the right thing in my head ,my family and my socity. I need somebody to tell me is there any way to quit being it.

I tried to date a girls many times in my life but it didn't work. I do it ok with men but I don't have the same interest to women I don't know what the problem is?

I want to have my own life with my wife and children.. I really really would like to have that in the rest of my life... so any help..

thanks,

BedsonTrudeau · Moderator Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 943

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time in your life.

Unfortunately, I don't know if there's any way you can "quit" being gay. There are some people who have same-gender attraction and are able to overcome it in this life. However, there are others who cannot.

I think the first step is accepting yourself. The longer you're afraid and ashamed of who you are, the longer it will take for you to be on the road to better happiness. Besides, if you are ashamed, be aware that shame doesn't help one continue on a road. It just stalls someone.

Being same-gender attracted doesn't mean you're a bad person or that you've done anything wrong. I don't know if you've said that you have a wife and children, but if you do, that's not a bad thing either. You may want to tell your wife, but if you also don't want to act out on your homosexual desires, tell her that as well. Make a compromise with her. I once viewed a TV program about gay married couples and there was a gay man married to a straight woman. They had a happy marriage, but came to a compromise that every once in a while he would go out and talk to other men just to get that emotional contact. I'm not saying that that's what's appropriate for you, but I'm saying that it's possible to have a happy, successful marriage with these attractions.

Find some way to accept yourself. If you're religious, read your religion's scriptures. Don't concentrate on the "homosexual bad" part of it. Concentrate on the portions that talk about compassion and how much God love all of His children or how much people are worth. Everyone, including yourself, no matter how much right or wrong they have done, are worth so much.

If you're not religious, or if that doesn't work for you, what does? What gives you peace? Writing letters? Perhaps a support group?

I wish you the best of luck.

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