Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

all my life i've been incredibly insecure about my body, image, what people think of me, and have had low self esteem. i've always had terrible anxiety around girls. every time i've had a sexual encounter something has gone wrong, i've gotten stage fright or lost erection (i've been drunk or high every time maybe worth noting). these experiences caused me to avoid dating/seeing girls for years even though i had wanted girls all my life. therefore i've been a miserable piece of sh*t every day that i can remember. now it has gotten to the point where i'm so lonely, miserable and depressed that i want a deep meaningful relationship but again i am very akward and anxious around women. major drug abuse and drinking has made my anxiety way worse and i'm pretty much constantly depressed or anxious about something.... it's gotten so bad that for a period of time i became obsessed with the size of my penis constantly 'checking' how big it was literally every 5 minutes and judging whether or not it was acceptable lol.... and more recently i developed HOCD where i get all these intrusive thoughts about being a fag and it's REALLY worrying me and confusing me because all my life i've been craving women and never looked at men in a sexual way. anyways, wtf do i do? depressed, anxiety, self-esteem problems.... wtf is wrong with me should i see a doctor

Loading...

nobody has any advice........
Reply

Loading...

Man u just discript my live there m8.

its started with me to about low self esteem (penis size and sh*t..) en then hocd.
i have this now the last 6 months and is hell. every day is bad like the end of the world.
i recently dated a girl and when im at work my mind or the devil everytimes try to tell me ur gay u dont like her.
while when i think of having sex with her it get me an erection WTF..

i want to see a doctor but im afraid to go...

i always think this sh*t got in my mind so i can go out to.. but i guess its not that simple.
Reply

Loading...

you have also just descrivbed my life,
i always seemed to have low self esteem when it came to girls. i would be afraid to go and talk to them in fear of rejection or not living up to what they expected of me, ei also worried about my penis size and would check myself daily for changes in size, i even performed exercises to improve the size of my penis much to my success ;-). i then got into my first logn term relationship which is ongoing now. i have had no problems with getting busy with my girl because i am emotionally and sexually attracted to her, getting an erection and what i was feeling for her was not even a problem.
but out of nowhere these intrusive thoughts began making me question my sexuality which had never been a problem before, i am analysing my behaviour questioning if it makes me gay or not, which of course i do not want to be as i am and always have been attracted to women. it is givnig me a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and is causes me loss of apetite. also i constantly think back to things in my past to use as evidence to prove i am gay which i still belive is not the case, its like an ongoing battle in my head. i havnt been diagnosed with HOCD but i have spoken to a doctor and am seing her ealy tomrow morning, i belive it to be HOCD merely becasue my story is so similar to that of many people with the condition that i have foud from oother online forums.
good luck
Reply

Loading...

Tunafish. I have the exact same problems. EXACT SAME. I have been battling with it for ages, and it is harder because I am in a relationship with a gorgeous sexy girl who i love and care about very much. I won't go into details about my 'symptoms' and stuff because you literally have the same as me. So i know you can understand.

Basically.. I have recently seen a counsellor and poured my heart out, saying I have homosexual ocd and relationship ocd and this and that blah blah. What it very very interestingly boiled down to, which I hadn't considered, even though I might know it, is my self esteem. I think the main issue with anyone developing HOCD is your own personal level of self esteem. Mine for example, is awful, I've never been happy with myself, my body, always been nervous, won't even piss in a urinal next to other men for fear of showing what I think it 'unadequate' manhood. Even though I make my girlfriend squeal! It's ironic that I'm out to help others, when I need help myself, however it was suggested to me to try looking at 'Overcoming Low Self Esteem' (check it out on amazon or whatever) it will really put things into perspective. Also, i HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend getting some CBT form of counselling. It is what will help, I am to embark on my journey with this very shortly and I know it will be beneficial. It's all about changing your thought patterns. Think about it, obviously noone is completely happy with themselves, but it's people like me (and possibly you?) who really have a low self worth, who suffer the most.

I've been battling with anxiety related stuff for years, and so for my therapist to help boil it all down to issues with self esteem, it really made me think!

This is what I suggest anyway.

I like you, have ALL that HOCD c**p, and thats all it is... c**p. don't let it get a hold of you, its anxiety talking. It's not what you really believe and you know it!

Stay Strong

M
Reply

Loading...

I can relate to you totally . I had the same problems with the same order and i think all this led me to shemale porn .

HOCD is destroying my life .

 

Reply

Loading...

When Iread this post it broght me to tears (I never cry) this is what I'm going through. And I didn't speak to any one about it was the the main topic in my head for the past six months. I was going to a social worker for low self esteem and anxiety but when this topic came up I just froze until the end of the appointment. I'm 19 and I dropped out of college 2 months ago because Wasn't able to properly function with all this thinking I'm so depressed just feel helpless.
Reply

Loading...

Yea HOCD, or any kind or OCD and low self esteem are symptoms of depression and low serotonin. Ive been over hocd 10 years ago and im now struggling again with it. Its horrible and i think i will get antidepressant. 

Serotonin is the key; excercise, sun, proper food, good sleep, no drugs.

Reply

Loading...

Very relatable to me. For me it's a mixture of different abuse I've done to my brain over the years that has landed me in this horrible hocd cycle. From porn abuse from the age of 12 and drug abuse from the age of 13 has gave me crippling depression, anxiety and relationship struggles and these 3 things have landed me struggling with hocd thoughts. I've been trying different things to treat it but haven't had sustainable progress with it. Hocd and any forms of ocd always make new ways for you to fall back into the cycle. It really is hell. However I'm starting to thing for me personally it has something to do with self esteem, I've always had terrible self esteem and my hocd all started because I was worried people would think I'm gay because I had terrible self esteem and bad paranoia of what people thought of me. Now even though I'm very understood that I'm a hocd sufferer and definitely not gay, it's doesn't stop me having this horrible self image that I'm just a faggot (even though I don't say that in a offensive way it's just the way I can describe the feeling of self worth I have) and I think it's this terrible self image I have of myself just because I suffer from hocd is the root of my intrusive thoughts and intense feelings of fear and disgust.
This post is quite old just wondering if any of you have found a good helpful way of overcoming your hocd because I am still struggling with it.

Reply

Loading...