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Rising Star
77 posts
Hey Iris

I've been off BC for a little more than a year now. Looking back, I was still getting lost in my thoughts and very fragile during my 5th month.

It's hard not having any quick fixes or outlets for what's happened to us, but it does get better with time. I didn't start feeling better until my 7th month and even then I still felt crummy, but slowly I was getting back to my normal self.

I haven't been on any supplements in close to a month and still feel fine, the Oceans 3 and women's probiotic helped the most. I also am better around and during my periods.

I do feel a little more hazey or off the days when I don't get enough sleep. During my 5th month if I didn't get enough sleep I would have high anxiety and stress the next day, anything could trigger me.

For the most part my feelings for my b.f are back. There are times when I want out but it's not as constant as it once was. I've realized I was a train wreck for the last year and that anyone willing to put up with that type of instability and still stay with me at my worst is worth my time and love.

If going to urgent care is your best solution right now do what you have to do. I just got so tired of and disgusted with doctors after all this.

I have to give it to you though, I could barely function let alone take care of my 10 year old, here you are going through this and caring for a toddler.

Take care.
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IM close to a year off now! I was fine for first 3 months an then i started to suffer anxiety an paranoia- mainly about my relationship but more about fear of losing my hubby etc. Never once did i think it would be the coming off the pill. THen since about may time i went full circle an was paranoid bout my feelings and feeling distant from him. I have just felt all over the place all year feeling totally irrational an anxious. Fed up now an jus want to feel happy again. We r supposd to be trying for a baby an this has really dampened things. But i havw to say my husband has been so supportive, more than i deserve for the way iv been. Im now rackd with guilt too as i kno hes been unhappy in it all but then when i doubt my feeings i sometimes find it hard to try an be a loving an caring wife. Its been horrible :-( i jus want to feel in love again
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If you don't mind me asking, how did you feel towards your boyfriend? I am having a similar side effect for months now and I just can't get the thought of not loving him the same out of my head.
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Apprentice
25 posts

Thanks for this! Today was my 4th day in a row still in this slump!! I feel horrible and not like myself at all. I feel like I'm regressing. This thread is the only place I can talk about this. I've tried reaching out in this Facebook group that I'm in for moms and I never get any response. I feel like no one has ever heard of this happening before and No one truly understands.

I have no idea what brought this on me like this. Idk if it's from lack of sleep these last few days or what but I just do not feel like I'm getting any better.

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Hi everyone. My name is Shyla and I was posting on here a couple months back. I actually didn't want to come back, because seeing the posts are slightly triggering but I also wanted to give you all some hope.

My symptom list was long. Severe health anxiety, depression, heavy head, head pressure, dizziness, brain fog, high BP (prob anxiety related), off balance, spacey feelings, headaches, heart palps, OCD thoughts, severe depersonalization, sensitive to light, weird eyesight, hazy, the works. Gosh. Just thinking about it again makes me ill.

I'll be a year off the pill next month. I would say I'm about 90% back to "normal" though I do think with something so traumatizing I might have to redefine normal for me. I had severe anxiety and panic attacks (mostly health related) when I stopped the pill last October. Turned my world upside down. I thought my life was over. I have inched, and I mean INCHED on my belly back to normal. Like anxiously waiting said, the Oceans 3 helped a ton and I'm still on it per my doctors orders (seems to regulate my hormones!) along with progesterone cream. These seem to be working so you better believe we aren't jacking with them just yet.

Here's the thing. The biggest and best healer will be TIME. How terrible, I know. I HATED hearing that, and infortunately it's true. I cried every single day -- like on the floor -- for three straight months. Once I finally had a period (at three months post pill) my healing began, but it was slow. My word, it was slow. It began with having moments of not feeling terrible, then days. Then weeks of doing "okay."

I also had to relearn my own personality. When you spend months knowing only fear and darkness, as you emerge out of it, you kind of have to relearn who you used to be. My quirks started to come back. My personality. My ability to hold a normal convo. But it's slow and hard. But it does get better. You heal.

In the beginning, it didn't matter what anyone said, I couldn't think about anything but my anxiety, so I know -- if you're where I was -- this might not help until you heal a bit more, but try to keep busy. Once I began to heal, I started exercising. Then I joined Crossfit as I became more confident, which my doc says is probably boosting my testerone which is great.

I still struggle with derealization occasionally and weird eyesight and sensitive to light, which I've powered through, but I'm now wearing glasses and it helping. I couldn't even be home alone until a month or so ago. So if you feel like it's taking too long, be encouraged. It takes time, but you'll bounce back. I'm getting on an airplane by myself next week. GUYS! I couldn't NOT have done this even two months ago.

I still go easy on myself. Big bright places freak me out (is it my eyes or adrenals or cortisol or anxiety??? Who knows!) so I always plug headphones in and it's a huge help. Keeps me distracted and keeps my mood up. Be kind to yourself. Do whatever works until you heal. Give yourself grace. I've been known to wear sunglasses in Walmart because I hate the fluorescents. Who cares what anyone thinks? Go. Easy. On. Yourself.

You're made to make it. The best is yet to be. You WILL heal. Life will be livable again.

Keeping you all in my prayers.
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Rising Star
77 posts
I felt extremely distant. Out of love. Disgusted at times. Wanting him to leave, not caring if he came home or hung out with friends. It took some months of battling with myself but Instead of comparing how I felt to how I used to feel I started to have fun with him, recreate that passion. Vacations, date nights/drinks, and exercising together.

Granted we're all different, one day for me it just started getting easier to win those internal battles I had going on. I hate to say this, but worrying about my relationship was the least of issues, I was more preoccupied with my health/physical anxiety. That's not to say that my mixed feelings for Bf didn't effect me.
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User avatar
Rising Star
77 posts
Shyla,
U nearly just brought me to tears reading this. its almost as if I could've written this. From all the health symptoms, being able to hold a conversation, relearning our personality, not being able to leave the house, bright lights/ wearing shades in the store.. ugh literally everything on here is identical to what I've gone through.

I took a plane ride in June(was 10 months off pill) and it was such an accomplishment for me so I know exactly how you feel. I've flown 3 times since and although i still get nervous, it's manageable. To play it safe the first trip I didn't eat prior to flying.

I had a bottled water in case my throat got dry/tight and felt like I couldn't swollow(another anxiety symptom I had) and a squishy ear bud I could play with and squeeze to distract myself. Of course I brought a xanex with me just in case, but it was mostly for comfort just to know I had one in case things went south. I haven't had to take a relaxer since my 5th/6th month since being off the pill. I carried one with me everywhere I went like a security blanket up until 3 months ago.

I'm glad you are feeling better, I thought about you the other day and wondered how you were. Thank you for posting! God bless.
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Okay thanks for that. For some reasons my feeling towards my boyfriend effect me the most and I feel like that's because when I had really bad anxiety it would be because I felt like I didn't love him and when I was depressed it was because I felt like I didn't love him. Everything I felt related to him in some way. I feel very distant as well but definitely getting better. Also, I question his attractiveness as well as thinking a lot of other guys are attractive and for some reason that bothers me even though I'm the past I didn't think twice about it. It's only been about 4 months for me so I assume I have a long way to go. Thank you again for this.
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Hi ladies,

This thread has literally made me so hopeful, so thank you for that. I was taking generic Beyaz for about six months. During that time I became irritable, angry, anxious and began to have suicidal thoughts. I stopped taking the pill three weeks ago today.

Mentally I feel better, like fog has lifted from my brain but I still feel sad and just not like me. For me, the scariest thing is these thoughts because for one, I don't believe in them and 2, they cause my anxiety to sky rocket.

I do know that I'm getting better day by day because I could smile and laugh and mean it (I forgot what that was like). And I do feel a world different than I did one month ago.

I really wish I listened to my intuition and didn't take the pill because I know this isn't me. It's a really sad situation, but I know we are all going to get through it.
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I am really glad I found this site. My mirena was done as of the 7th and I am not scheduled to see my OB and get new birth control until the 14th. Today my depression was worse than it's been in a long time. I take meds for my depression but today was bad. I can't wait to get on a new birth control and not feel like my depression is out of control. It's been well managed for a while now. I know it gets better, just sucks feeling this way.

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Does anyone feel ok at times but at fandoms times you feel like you will be bored with your partner and see no future with them! Also, do you sometimes question their attractiveness and get agitated easily??? Help I am going crazy over here! It's been 3 periods off and almost 5 months!
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Hi Shyla,

I'm so happy for you and any one else whose gotten over this anxiety and depression caused by the pill. It gives us all hope that we can all one day get through this!

I've been off mine for 6 months since I stopped and I have noticed significant signs of improving but i've still a long way to go. I've noticed that my anxiety while not as bad as it once was tends to present itself in either random nervous heart palpitations where i'll feel nervous for no reason (particularly during a a certain times of my cycle) and OCD thoughts where I worry about past memories. I tend to get over each memory and ill feel fine for a wee while and then it will come back as something else to worry about.

While i am better at dealing with it I had a bad moment this morning which made me come here to seek advice. Have you or anyone else also experienced this type of anxiety and does it ever go away? Would it be worth seeking therapy? Sometimes I feel like it would go away naturally when my mood swings finally stop being so severe but I do wonder if I should be seeking help.

Best wishes to everyone here going through this! We can get through this!
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Hi - I'm glad you're feeling better after six months! I've been off the pill for a month and these stories really give me hope.

I get the heart palpitations too, as well as the past memories. I'm actually seeing a therapist now to help me get through all of this, and she has been really awesome. One of the things she's trying to help me with is staying in the present (easier said than done, trust me). Whenever I look at past thought that freaks me out, it's helpful to acknowledge it but remember where you are now. When I start feeling anxious (heart palps, tingly feeling in my body), I usually try and touch something cold to help me calm down, which works.

If you have the means, I would definitely recommend seeing a therapist because they really do help you understand why you're feeling this way and ways to beat the feelings.

I hope this helps and best of luck to you!
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Hi, im so glad people are posting again, it went quiet there for a while. Im on the whole feelin a bit better but i still have my down days. I am makin huge efforts in my relationship an i feel it is helpin. I was wondering does anyone suffer paranoia or insecurity? I find it the hardest- i get paranoid my husband is lying to me about stuff an then when i seek reassurance it annoys him which i can understand.
I too get anxious about stuff in the past an i fret that i will be hurt in the future emotionally which is causing me to hold back a bit in my marriage. I just want to go back to they way i was on the pill. Happy an in love- is that too much to ask? :-/
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Hi

Thanks for getting back to me! I'll defiantly take your advice into consideration. Glad i'm not the only one who experiences those symptoms! Goes to show you that its likely the pill that caused this.

I can honestly tell you it does get better as time goes on. I've noticed that my heart palpitations have significantly calmed down. Still there but they are much weaker than they were at first. The first month is always the toughest but just hang on! For me the first 3 to 4 months were the worst, but I started to notice a difference in my 5th month. There will be days where you feel like your making progress and there will be days where it feels like you've regressed. But honestly don't worry cos that's just the nature of these hormones fluctuating.

From what I've read it seems like everyone gets over this at different rates. So just hang on! It sounds like doing the right things to help you get through. One thing that has helped me is to keep yourself mentally distracted as best you can. Hang out with friends, chat to family members even watching your favorite TV programs can help you not focus on the random worries. Its helped me to calm down many times. Also plan fun things to look forward to. There will be days where you'll feel down so having that fun thing to look forward to helps to keep you positive.

Good luck on your road to recovery!

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