Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

New Reply New Topic Followed by 10 people


Hi. I have a teenage daughter, 15 years old. I am supposed to be close to her, to talk to her, to tell her all the stuff she needs to know as a young woman. However, she is much closer with her Dad. I am jealous of my daughter`s and my husband`s relationship. They do everything together. I feel isolated and don`t know what to do. Any suggestions

Loading...


Hi. I have a teenage daughter myself and we have a pretty close relationship. We talk about her problems at school, with friends, about puberty and sex. My husband is the one that is jealous. She was always his little girl – until she grew up. I think your daughter will come to you when she feels she has to. Just let her be. Let her do what she wants to do. Otherwise you may create many problems. She may become angry at you.
Reply

Loading...

Hope this sheads a little light on the subject. When I was a teenager, I always wanted to be with my dad, I found he was less strict. Every now and then I would go to my mom for something, I would stay in my room when my dad wasnt home and come out and watch tv with him. I guess I had a lot more in common with him. I thought my mom would pressure me a lot into talking about everything, and as a teenager I couldnt stand that. My suggestion, give her a little space, and every now and then show interest in something she likes. Unless you are worried and are questioning something in her life just let her be "catty". I now have a wonderful relationship with my mother, and now I tell her everything. Dad and I are still close, but I find now she is easier to talk to. Give it time, it will get better

Sincerely

"once a teenage girl"
Reply

Loading...

Things will change. I guess girls are usually closer to their dads when they're younger. As they grow older, their mothers become more of a friend - which is great. That's how it happened between me and my mother. Sadly i don't get along with my father as well as I used to though.
Reply

Loading...

I am 29 years old, I have a 6 year old and an 8 year old. I used to have the closest relationship with my mother, and now because of her jealousy, there is no relationship. It took over 6 years for things to fall apart. I have always been close to my dad, when we get together I don't ever want to leave his company. He is not judgemental, he praises my accomplishments, and we have alot of fun.
My mother, on the other hand, ignores my accomplishments and tells me she could probably accomplish the same thing if she wanted. Her grandchildren are not welcome in her house as it is more of a show home and the kids may mess it up. I have always been there for my mother, she was very sick a few years ago and I packed up the family to be with her until she was better. I know that if I was to get sick, she would not do the same for me.
There is so much more I could write, but I am sure you get what I am saying. My message is intended to let you know that you should talk to your mother about your issues right away before it gets to be like my situation. It sucks not to have a mother, and for my boys not to have a grandmother.
Reply

Loading...

i'm a 17 year old girl. i just wanted to say that you probably don't have anything to be jealous of. my mother and i are closer than my father and i because my dad is very strict and when i am around him i feel like i need to be perfect. my mom is a lot more fun. of course i am not saying that you're not fun, but maybe your daughter finds that her father does more fun things with her. maybe since you raised her and had to be somewhat strict, just because thats how parents need to be sometimes, she sees him as the playful one. you should try planning something fun for just the two of you. something that she will like. its never that she doesnt love you as much, just that she feels more at ease with her father maybe. and dont bring up the thing about her being closer with her father. teenage girls tend to be very irritable, i would know haha. but yeha, try this. and sorry if its not very helpful %-)
Reply

Loading...

im a twenty year old girl and i am closer to my father than my mother. and i know tht my mother is very jealous of that. shes so open about it. n thi sputs a strain on my relationship with my father. both my parents travel.so wen theyre both here i hardly even speak to my dad. when my mothers away we spend time talking and hang out togetehr. and i just cannot have the same relationship with my mother cz shes a totally different person. i hope your daughter and u get back togetehr but enjoy what she has with ehr fathewr. and show her all the love and support in everything she does.
Reply

Loading...

My mom has NEVER been a mother to me. She carried me and gave birth, and that was it. She and my dad were having marital problems and she was forced to tell the judge she was pregnant with me, otherwise she told me she'd never have told my Dad. When I was born, my dad held me first, as she was exhausted (after 27 hrs of labor she reminds me often). My dad has been my best friend my whole life, until he died last year. I feel like an orphan now. My mom is a mother to my brother and sister (7 and 9 yrs older) than me, and I'm 45 now. She will either be OVERLY motherly, or she ignores me completely. I gave her a card when my dad died and said now is the time for us to try a relationship, and she threw the card in a waste bag. I am very sick at this time, and for example, the other day she called to ask what the dr said. I started to tell her and she cut me off and said she was getting another call from her friend about helping her with her curtains. I'm telling her about a possible cancer prognosis, and she feels she can just cut me off because of her curtains. She plan a trip for the family girls.....I'm not invited. She has a mass and a dinner on the anniversary of my dad's death, she made those plans at places I can't go because I can't do stairs. My dad did all the nurturing, school projects, coaching my teams, sick days - all with him. Now he's gone and I miss him desperately - and my mom's term to me was "get over it." Why am I not used to this? Why am I always surprised by this behavior? Is this a typical jealousy of a mom who's jealous of a Daddy's girl?
Reply

Loading...

Children when they are growing up gravitate to the parent that they feel comfortable with. It really doesn't have much to do with what you've done with these kids--if they feel comfortable with you then that's great. If not, then that's fine too. They're teens, so just try to be a resource and a point of reference but don't try to be a friend. Still try to set boundaries with them if at all possible. I hope that it helps you understand a little better that it doesn't have anything to do with you.
Reply

Loading...

I have no children yet so I can't exactly empathise with you but I know how it feels when my mother shows favour for my twin brother, just because they were so dynamic, and it's even harder now after his death because I almost feel like she'd prefer it to have been one of her other kids. Obviously this is not true but it hurts and I imagine you're feeling in a similarly dispensible position. On the downside she is probably just more compatible with her father (which means she's probably a little copy of you), on the upside this means that you're not in your husbands awkward position and you can take this opportunity for your daughter to have something many women lack, a meaningful relationship with her father. If you continue your support of her and shield her from your own jealousy and insecurity (even though I think they're natural, they're not helpful for your relationship with your husband or daughter) she will be attracted by your unconditional love and warmth and you may be able to start sharing small treasures before you both feel completely comfortable with one another again. I adore my mum and you'd really have to stuff up for your baby girl not to adore you.
Reply

Loading...

my mom isn't nice to my daddy, and i don't like her much, i'm 12 and my dad understands me and loves me and is always there for me, and i get scared during storms (childish, i know :-( ) but when i do i go to daddy and cuddle with him in bed and he'll hug me and do things with me to distract me and i love him so much, and there isnt anyting he wouldnt do for me, and to him i am really special, the more my mother gets mad at us the more she just separates herself from us, and its not our fault, shes the one whos trying to be busy all the time, so really if she wouldnt be like she is we would probably be alittle bit closer, but a child only really needs one parent, her father, her mother is just more of a friend
Reply

Loading...

My mother is the jealous one. It is getting worse as I get older. I am 26 now. I googled this to help cope with her resentment of me and i found this.

This week, my father was in the hospital for cancer. While visiting him, my mother called. He said "shhh don't tell her you're here." and with that I started crying. I have heard this my whole life, when he takes me out to lunch, or come visits me at work, or anything we do without her, dad says, don't tell mom, it will just make her jealous. I have NEVER understood this, doesn't she love me? This week however, hit me harder than a ton of bricks. Since when can a 26 year old woman not visit her sick father in the hospital?!?!?!? She's jealous of that??? I think it has gone past jealousy and into mental illness and true narcissism. I am hurt to the core. I resent her. My father made me promise not to tell her I was there. Not only is he a huge enabler of her illness, but I can never confront her of it, cause he always tells me not to tell.

My adivce for you. DON"T be JEALOUS! Don't be it, don't show it, don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HURTS ME, every day. I love my mother so much, but seeing her act less mature than me breaks my heart every day. Because of her jealousy, I do not want to go to their house, I do not want to see her, I do not want to talk to her. I don't want anything to so with her. It makes things worse. I RESENT HER!!!!!!!!! AND SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHY, CAUSE I CANT TELL HER.

My advice: be a fun and active part of your daughter and your husbands life. be fun and cheerful and part of it, include yourself in it. Do not retract yourself, rather, make it fun for everyone. If my Dad and I are having a good conversation,. my mom looks off into the distance and sometimes even starts crying and saying horrible words under her breath, as if we are alienating her and excluding her from the conversation, when she could jump in it at any point.

MAKE Your Husband be part of the bad part of parenting too so its not good cop bad cop. Make him scold her and do her homework, and make him say NO too. Often times, this happens because one parent is the dominant strong parent, and the other is the fun loving, lenient parent. Take one guess which parent that kid thinks is cooler. You both need to work on balancing your parental obligations, because as much as we all want to be friends with our kids, you are still their PARENT! PEROID.
Reply

Loading...

Hi, I have a mother myself and i always want to be with her because she was less strict and forgives easily but can have a bad side too. I think that your daughter just needs some space or maybe will feel more comfortable with her dad. but if you want to get closer to your daughter i would suggest doind stuff she likes to do and stop anoying her (if you do because i know my dad does) her with such the simplest things like fussing with her about getting a C on a quiz. Or fussing over the fight when she wants something and you cant give it and all that. Also dont try to act...hip or...cool infront of her friends, because it really is embaressing and you guyz might fight again. There are other ways too but these are some things ive experienced myself.
Reply

Loading...

I'm in the same rut, being a son of a mother was a little different for me and my two older siblings (brothers) growing up. My father practically raised us from scratch while my mother never found the time to actually say something or care enough. My father passed away back in 2007, since then I've manage to have a beautiful daughter 4 mos ago. Her mother however is an EXTREMELY jealous and insecure person and really tries her hardest to demean anything I say or do. By playing the victim or lashing out on me. I'm stumped because I don't feel I have that connection with my mom and my dads gone, so I literally feel like an orphan. I tried to see if my mother cared enough that she now has her first grandchild but shes happily married and has a new adoptive family sorta-speak. Basically she isn't going to go out of her way for me or her granddaughter. So I made the final decision to leave it as it is and at-least be thankful that she has grandparents on her mothers side. However it gets worse. My girlfriends parents reach out to me and she pushes me away from them. So It's like a forbidden apple. My advice to any mother is despite of sex, fathers and mothers should be jsut as par if not equally close to their child. Now that may sound easier said then done but it's something to consider. My girlfriend always is jealous how fond my daughter is of me, but that shouldn't matter. All I've ever wanted from my mother was her nourishment, love, and support. Thats exactly what any parents child expects./
Reply

Loading...

Right now, and have always been in the situation where my mother is very jealous of the relationship i have with my dad. It is horrible!! I wish she wasnt. I try to show her that i love her too and do little things for her..like clean the house everyday(she HATES cleanin) give her little thank you notes, buy her a Tim's coffee..etc. but still, her bitterness and jealousy over rules. it is sooo sad. She has even admitted that she resents me. What am I to do? my brother and i were adopted together and she does not treat him bad in any way. and that is because my dad and i are close and her and my brother are close.. I wish that she would change! my dad tries to include her in things or ask her if she wants to go for coffee with him..but no. I cant stand her stubborness.
So I am just saying PLEASE do not be jealous of your daughter and husbands relationship. they will see that..and its ugly. A father/daughter relationship is sooo important! and a mother/daughter one as well..so dont give up!!
Reply

Loading...