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I was best friends with my wife before getting married about 5 months ago. Now she is my worst enemy, as she shows me no love physically or mentally. She is never emotional. Her parents always bail her out, if she has a problem with anything like if her car breaks down she calls them to help her. She does not ask me or tell me about these things until afterwords.

I know she was a relationship years ago when she was being cheated on and her parents have always been there for her. She is 30 years old and all she does is work, drink vodka, wine, any alcohol she can get a hold of, eat, sleep, and sh*t. Oh, I forgot, she watches E, and the style network and john & kate plus 8 and all that fun stuff.

She is very fun when we go out in public to dance, have a cocktail, socialize with others but no verbal communication at home. A couple of other examples are for her birthday I spent over a 1000.00 at the pool bar, bought her over 2000.00 worth of jewelry, had her cake specially custom made for her, had every piece of jewelry engraved with something meaningful, wrote her numerous meaningful cards, sent her flowers and gifts ALL week to her work, took her family to brunch. MY birthday, no card, no gifts, no love, no emotion, she wanted to take me for a drink. I told her not to get me anything for my b-day but "really"???

This past x-mas I put up stockings for he, myself, her 3 kittens and hand-wrote each and everyone's names on them in glitter-paint and hung them above the fireplace. She never had a real x-mas tree so I took her to purchase one and then took her to the store to buy x-mas ornaments so we could have our own, as I had mine from the years past before we were married. I waited till she got home from work to hang the 1st ornament together and then we decorated the tree. I invited her family to come to our home for x-mas if they wanted too. Her mother asked if she could have her daughter for x-mas because it would be the first x-mas where she didn't have her all to herself at her home with her stepfather. My answer was "we are married, this is our first x-mas together and we were going to have x-mas at our house if you would like to come over you are more than welcome". Her mother had a tantrum of sorts about it and tried guilt-tripping my wife in to going to her aunt's house for x-mas because she was sick. Turns out they didn't end up going to the sick aunt's house but to her grandmother's house. Her mother is a total control freak if you can not tell. She is one of the reasons I do not think my wife has grown up yet.

x-mas presents, I bought, picked out, paid for all of our presents to give to all of her family members, my family members and she helped wrap I think 4 presents out of 40. I bought my wife over 2000.00 worth of jewelry, stuffed her stocking full of wonderful surprises, wrote her a few different cards, made her sit for a self portrait of us underneath the x-mas tree, hung lights outside and in, made x-mas dinner. My wife bought / made me nothing for x-mas, not even a card. The only stocking that was empty was mine. Is there something wrong here or what? My wife is a beautiful woman and I have no lack of self confidence as far as my personality and looks go. I own my business and she works as a professional. She does tell me things about her boss screwing everyone at the office except her and the receptionist. Which he also makes blow-job jokes to her as well. She works in a different city about 30 miles from home.

I cant wait till she gets home so I can see her beautiful face and kiss and hug her. But when she gets home she gives me a verbal hello and doesn't run by any means to hug and kiss me. I hug her tight and kiss her then she hits the refrigerator for a cold vodka drink or glass of wine. She always wants to go out and party with her friends and never wants to do anything with me. She has had a wall up since I met her but it has slowly been coming down and on our marriage day I thought that had all changed but apparently not.

Another thing that she did prior to us getting married was told me she wanted to live in her old house that her parents had in foreclosure. I did not want to move there but I went along with it but then in the middle of the move she decided she did not want to be there. She then asked me to rent a house in the city for us and then I did so, only for her to move in about 2 months after. I sat here waiting for her for 2 months before she moved in and lived 30 minutes away. When she finally moved in she had her stepfather and a person she calls uncle come to move her cats and furniture in. I have paid thousands of dollars for her to fix her 1996 car while she drives my new vehicle. She said she would pay me back for the costs but has not paid me anything to date. It was 1250 which was supposed to be paid back in October... This was before we were married.

I was very happy that she was finally here, it was a few months later we got married. I am a very happy person who loves to help others and I even sit on a nonprofit organizations to help individuals in our community. I am very positive, self-motivated, respectful, overly nice to everyone, I'm a great listener, I give this woman a massage every night, make her dinner every night, buy her flowers every other day, let her put thousands of miles on my vehicle for her to drive to work in another city where goes goes to business lunches with other guys who he says are just business associates so I do not question it. She also has her 2 best friends as she calls them in that city that she sees once or twice a week. One is a 45 year old woman who drinks a lot and has parties at her house frequently and the other is a 41 year old large black man. I am not prejudice but with my wife being 30 and these being her 2 best friends when I can tell in our city she is not even comfortable around black people? This is odd to me also.

She is the "facebook" queen. She is always on there and has 405 friends as of today's date. She says she knows all of these people, her profile says she is looking for "men" for friends, does say she is married but her profile and "wall" is private. I do not have facebook and am not that familiar with it but she spends hours daily on it. But she can not sit and talk to her own husband for more than 5 minutes without standing up and leaving. She always says she is going to go move into her parents house "the vacant one that is in foreclosure" when we get in verbal arguments. \

She is breaking my heart daily! Please tell me what you think about this situation and any suggestions you may have! Is there anything else I can do to assist her in putting her wall down or whatever the problem is???

Thank you!

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Hi there!
Sounds like you have quite the problem.
My suggestion would be to talk to her about how you feel and see if she'd be open to marriage counselling. Or maybe she has some issues that she's not sharing with you that she may need help with. If she doesn't respond to that then maybe it's time to get in touch with a divorce lawyer.
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Thank you for taking the time to read my post and I think you are right. I just found out today that my wife and her mother who is 57 but acts 15 years old has been "sneaking" behind my back and her mother would like her to move home with her and her mother has been sending out resumes for her amongst other things. He mother has mentioned several times that she (wife's mother) sits in the closet and rocks back and forth for hours when she feels depressed.

My wife's mother has a good paying job and has been in the same field for years but I am not sure how she fits time to sit in the closet rocking back an forth in this trance she is talking about. To set the stage a bit more the wife's mother lives in a nice neighborhood (750,000.00 & up) and home, she controls her husband like a dog and even boasts about it. She is living beyond her means and I think maybe trying to get my wife to move back for selfish reasons of not wanting her littlegirl to grow up, which I feel my wife is an adult at times but most of the time still a child.

Do you think this comes from the mother's behavior?

Her mother also cakes on the make-up, gets botox injections everywhere, and much more. She tries to play dress up with my wife still today...

HELP
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Have you heard the word RUN. Then please run. There are so many good women who take care of her husbands.
She is mama's little girl. If you continue to be with her you will have a lot of heart pain.
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OMG I thought was the only one who went through this situation.

We split now we have six months away from each other.

That wasn't a healthy relationship. This people is sick. My ex drove me nuts, I ended up sick with depression and lack of energy.

Trust me you better alone!

Sara

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shes cheating on you.  Women act "strange" when they are feeling guilty about infidelity.  Plus, get a grip man, you are doing WAAAAYYY too much, that's why she hates your guts.  Women hate nice guys...sorry =/

google:  MGTOW
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I think you need to leave her.  You've only been married 5 months, so it's not like you've invested much time in this relationship.

This reminds me of one of my wife's friends, who had a 5-year marriage to some girl who had similar mommy issues, and ended up moving in with her alcoholic mother to "take care" of her, which really meant enabling her to continue her alcoholism.  This mother (along with some other man-hating female friend) turned the woman against her husband, got her to make false allegations that he raped her, etc.  I'm no psychologist, but there's definitely some kind of weird and severely dysfunctional family dynamics going on here between these women (his now ex-wife and your wife) and their mothers.

One thing people need to keep in mind, that they tend to overlook in Western society, is that when you get married, you're not only marrying the other person, but his or her family too, whether you like it or not.  This may not apply if that person has abandoned their family, but that'll set them up for another set of problems too (not insurmountable though).  But if your prospective spouse has a dysfunctional relationship with their parents, that's a big red flag.  Look for a woman who either has good parents and a healthy relationship with them, or has cut off ties with their parents altogether if they're bad and appears to otherwise be a healthy and connected individual despite her parentage.

Of course, it's been a year since you last wrote, so I hope everything's worked out for you.
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Obviously you two were meant to be friends and just that...
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Whoever says women hate nice guys, well, I'm a woman, 25, slim, and I'd love to meet a guy like you. I live in the middle of nowhere down south and all the guys around here are either tied to their mother's apron strings, addicted to alcohol or valium, or wifebeaters, or homeless/longterm unemployed financial abusers, mentally ill, impotent, already spoken for and looking for a bit on the side, etc etc. yet I fall in love with one of them and treat them like a king! I wouldn't feel so stupid if I was treating you like that would I. Because those are all the things I do, bake him his favourite cake and hand make clothes, or cook for him and his family, clear the table, do the dishes and pay for it all.. and he gives nothing any-more, not even a kiss, he pushes me away further.
So, I have just decided to let go, I'm looking for a nice clean and hard-working guy, like you. You should leave this woman. You are depriving someone nice from having you! ;D
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mellacotton: If you don't like all the men in the "middle of nowhere" where you live, why don't you move somewhere where the prospects are better? You can move back to the sticks when you're a little older and have already found someone that's willing to move with you to a geographic region that you both like.
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my suggestion? stop paying for sh*t, start getting her nothing, show her no emotion, and basically treat her how shes treating you. otherwise, dump her. shes obviously a 30 year old child whos mother completly ruined her life by being such a control freak
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i think u r not her heman.........there is another men in her life
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satyugi wrote:

i think u r not her heman.........there is another men in her life


this woman only wants an ATM and she has one:YOURS. im nto entirely sur she is cheating but im sure she has before.he rmoms and her have already decided that if you allow it she can do it.STOP EVERYTHING FOR 3 MONTHS AND SEE IF SHE SHOWS YOU AFFECTION-SHE WILL SHOW YOU AFFECTION AS SOON AS SHE REALIZES YOURE CUTTING HER PERKS OFF.SHE MAY EVEN LET YOU GET SOME.its okay to talk to a lawer just to get some questions answered(you dont wanna divorce her and she gets all your money do you)?definitely whatever you do PROTECT YOUR FINANCES AND START A JOURNAL!you WILL need it in the future.GOOD LUCK
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yittle wrote:

I was best friends with my wife before getting married about 5 months ago. Now she is my worst enemy, as she shows me no love physically or mentally. She is never emotional. Her parents always bail her out, if she has a problem with anything like if her car breaks down she calls them to help her. She does not ask me or tell me about these things until afterwords.

I know she was a relationship years ago when she was being cheated on and her parents have always been there for her. She is 30 years old and all she does is work, drink vodka, wine, any alcohol she can get a hold of, eat, sleep, and sh*t. Oh, I forgot, she watches E, and the style network and john & kate plus 8 and all that fun stuff.

She is very fun when we go out in public to dance, have a cocktail, socialize with others but no verbal communication at home. A couple of other examples are for her birthday I spent over a 1000.00 at the pool bar, bought her over 2000.00 worth of jewelry, had her cake specially custom made for her, had every piece of jewelry engraved with something meaningful, wrote her numerous meaningful cards, sent her flowers and gifts ALL week to her work, took her family to brunch. MY birthday, no card, no gifts, no love, no emotion, she wanted to take me for a drink. I told her not to get me anything for my b-day but "really"???

This past x-mas I put up stockings for he, myself, her 3 kittens and hand-wrote each and everyone's names on them in glitter-paint and hung them above the fireplace. She never had a real x-mas tree so I took her to purchase one and then took her to the store to buy x-mas ornaments so we could have our own, as I had mine from the years past before we were married. I waited till she got home from work to hang the 1st ornament together and then we decorated the tree. I invited her family to come to our home for x-mas if they wanted too. Her mother asked if she could have her daughter for x-mas because it would be the first x-mas where she didn't have her all to herself at her home with her stepfather. My answer was "we are married, this is our first x-mas together and we were going to have x-mas at our house if you would like to come over you are more than welcome". Her mother had a tantrum of sorts about it and tried guilt-tripping my wife in to going to her aunt's house for x-mas because she was sick. Turns out they didn't end up going to the sick aunt's house but to her grandmother's house. Her mother is a total control freak if you can not tell. She is one of the reasons I do not think my wife has grown up yet.

x-mas presents, I bought, picked out, paid for all of our presents to give to all of her family members, my family members and she helped wrap I think 4 presents out of 40. I bought my wife over 2000.00 worth of jewelry, stuffed her stocking full of wonderful surprises, wrote her a few different cards, made her sit for a self portrait of us underneath the x-mas tree, hung lights outside and in, made x-mas dinner. My wife bought / made me nothing for x-mas, not even a card. The only stocking that was empty was mine. Is there something wrong here or what? My wife is a beautiful woman and I have no lack of self confidence as far as my personality and looks go. I own my business and she works as a professional. She does tell me things about her boss screwing everyone at the office except her and the receptionist. Which he also makes blow-job jokes to her as well. She works in a different city about 30 miles from home.

I cant wait till she gets home so I can see her beautiful face and kiss and hug her. But when she gets home she gives me a verbal hello and doesn't run by any means to hug and kiss me. I hug her tight and kiss her then she hits the refrigerator for a cold vodka drink or glass of wine. She always wants to go out and party with her friends and never wants to do anything with me. She has had a wall up since I met her but it has slowly been coming down and on our marriage day I thought that had all changed but apparently not.

Another thing that she did prior to us getting married was told me she wanted to live in her old house that her parents had in foreclosure. I did not want to move there but I went along with it but then in the middle of the move she decided she did not want to be there. She then asked me to rent a house in the city for us and then I did so, only for her to move in about 2 months after. I sat here waiting for her for 2 months before she moved in and lived 30 minutes away. When she finally moved in she had her stepfather and a person she calls uncle come to move her cats and furniture in. I have paid thousands of dollars for her to fix her 1996 car while she drives my new vehicle. She said she would pay me back for the costs but has not paid me anything to date. It was 1250 which was supposed to be paid back in October... This was before we were married.

I was very happy that she was finally here, it was a few months later we got married. I am a very happy person who loves to help others and I even sit on a nonprofit organizations to help individuals in our community. I am very positive, self-motivated, respectful, overly nice to everyone, I'm a great listener, I give this woman a massage every night, make her dinner every night, buy her flowers every other day, let her put thousands of miles on my vehicle for her to drive to work in another city where goes goes to business lunches with other guys who he says are just business associates so I do not question it. She also has her 2 best friends as she calls them in that city that she sees once or twice a week. One is a 45 year old woman who drinks a lot and has parties at her house frequently and the other is a 41 year old large black man. I am not prejudice but with my wife being 30 and these being her 2 best friends when I can tell in our city she is not even comfortable around black people? This is odd to me also.

She is the "facebook" queen. She is always on there and has 405 friends as of today's date. She says she knows all of these people, her profile says she is looking for "men" for friends, does say she is married but her profile and "wall" is private. I do not have facebook and am not that familiar with it but she spends hours daily on it. But she can not sit and talk to her own husband for more than 5 minutes without standing up and leaving. She always says she is going to go move into her parents house "the vacant one that is in foreclosure" when we get in verbal arguments. \

She is breaking my heart daily! Please tell me what you think about this situation and any suggestions you may have! Is there anything else I can do to assist her in putting her wall down or whatever the problem is???

Thank you!


NEVER GIVE FLOWERS TO A SOCIALPATH
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MickeyD47 wrote:

yittle wrote:

I was best friends with my wife before getting married about 5 months ago. Now she is my worst enemy, as she shows me no love physically or mentally. She is never emotional. Her parents always bail her out, if she has a problem with anything like if her car breaks down she calls them to help her. She does not ask me or tell me about these things until afterwords.

I know she was a relationship years ago when she was being cheated on and her parents have always been there for her. She is 30 years old and all she does is work, drink vodka, wine, any alcohol she can get a hold of, eat, sleep, and sh*t. Oh, I forgot, she watches E, and the style network and john & kate plus 8 and all that fun stuff.

She is very fun when we go out in public to dance, have a cocktail, socialize with others but no verbal communication at home. A couple of other examples are for her birthday I spent over a 1000.00 at the pool bar, bought her over 2000.00 worth of jewelry, had her cake specially custom made for her, had every piece of jewelry engraved with something meaningful, wrote her numerous meaningful cards, sent her flowers and gifts ALL week to her work, took her family to brunch. MY birthday, no card, no gifts, no love, no emotion, she wanted to take me for a drink. I told her not to get me anything for my b-day but "really"???

This past x-mas I put up stockings for he, myself, her 3 kittens and hand-wrote each and everyone's names on them in glitter-paint and hung them above the fireplace. She never had a real x-mas tree so I took her to purchase one and then took her to the store to buy x-mas ornaments so we could have our own, as I had mine from the years past before we were married. I waited till she got home from work to hang the 1st ornament together and then we decorated the tree. I invited her family to come to our home for x-mas if they wanted too. Her mother asked if she could have her daughter for x-mas because it would be the first x-mas where she didn't have her all to herself at her home with her stepfather. My answer was "we are married, this is our first x-mas together and we were going to have x-mas at our house if you would like to come over you are more than welcome". Her mother had a tantrum of sorts about it and tried guilt-tripping my wife in to going to her aunt's house for x-mas because she was sick. Turns out they didn't end up going to the sick aunt's house but to her grandmother's house. Her mother is a total control freak if you can not tell. She is one of the reasons I do not think my wife has grown up yet.

x-mas presents, I bought, picked out, paid for all of our presents to give to all of her family members, my family members and she helped wrap I think 4 presents out of 40. I bought my wife over 2000.00 worth of jewelry, stuffed her stocking full of wonderful surprises, wrote her a few different cards, made her sit for a self portrait of us underneath the x-mas tree, hung lights outside and in, made x-mas dinner. My wife bought / made me nothing for x-mas, not even a card. The only stocking that was empty was mine. Is there something wrong here or what? My wife is a beautiful woman and I have no lack of self confidence as far as my personality and looks go. I own my business and she works as a professional. She does tell me things about her boss screwing everyone at the office except her and the receptionist. Which he also makes blow-job jokes to her as well. She works in a different city about 30 miles from home.

I cant wait till she gets home so I can see her beautiful face and kiss and hug her. But when she gets home she gives me a verbal hello and doesn't run by any means to hug and kiss me. I hug her tight and kiss her then she hits the refrigerator for a cold vodka drink or glass of wine. She always wants to go out and party with her friends and never wants to do anything with me. She has had a wall up since I met her but it has slowly been coming down and on our marriage day I thought that had all changed but apparently not.

Another thing that she did prior to us getting married was told me she wanted to live in her old house that her parents had in foreclosure. I did not want to move there but I went along with it but then in the middle of the move she decided she did not want to be there. She then asked me to rent a house in the city for us and then I did so, only for her to move in about 2 months after. I sat here waiting for her for 2 months before she moved in and lived 30 minutes away. When she finally moved in she had her stepfather and a person she calls uncle come to move her cats and furniture in. I have paid thousands of dollars for her to fix her 1996 car while she drives my new vehicle. She said she would pay me back for the costs but has not paid me anything to date. It was 1250 which was supposed to be paid back in October... This was before we were married.

I was very happy that she was finally here, it was a few months later we got married. I am a very happy person who loves to help others and I even sit on a nonprofit organizations to help individuals in our community. I am very positive, self-motivated, respectful, overly nice to everyone, I'm a great listener, I give this woman a massage every night, make her dinner every night, buy her flowers every other day, let her put thousands of miles on my vehicle for her to drive to work in another city where goes goes to business lunches with other guys who he says are just business associates so I do not question it. She also has her 2 best friends as she calls them in that city that she sees once or twice a week. One is a 45 year old woman who drinks a lot and has parties at her house frequently and the other is a 41 year old large black man. I am not prejudice but with my wife being 30 and these being her 2 best friends when I can tell in our city she is not even comfortable around black people? This is odd to me also.

She is the "facebook" queen. She is always on there and has 405 friends as of today's date. She says she knows all of these people, her profile says she is looking for "men" for friends, does say she is married but her profile and "wall" is private. I do not have facebook and am not that familiar with it but she spends hours daily on it. But she can not sit and talk to her own husband for more than 5 minutes without standing up and leaving. She always says she is going to go move into her parents house "the vacant one that is in foreclosure" when we get in verbal arguments. \

She is breaking my heart daily! Please tell me what you think about this situation and any suggestions you may have! Is there anything else I can do to assist her in putting her wall down or whatever the problem is???

Thank you!


NEVER GIVE FLOWERS TO A SOCIALPATH


Just Let her go! her story is over in your life. How can you think that this gal could bring any happiness in your life. She is just using you. Stop giving her so much. Just leave her and find a good life partner. Best of Luck!!!
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