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I tried to stop cutting myself. I havent done it in a month but now it feels so much harder stop. I want nothing more that to just leave a little line. It hurts almost physically right now. It feels like everything that happens is a slap to my face and it hurts. like im breaking into little pieces and no one is going to know. I want to stop. Why is it so hard? Is it really possible to be addicted to the pain? It makes everything better but i dont like cutting. I cant stop. Someone help me please.

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I, too, have cut myself in the past. It's very hard not to want to punish yourself or to just get the emotional pain out immediately. I don't know why you cut, but that's why I cut.

I've learned to handle my emotional pain in different ways. It's by those methods that I can see that cutting itself is an addiction and only creates a vicious cycle. Do I think it's possible to be addicted to pain? I suppose it's possible. But I don't think that's the case with you. I think you feel emotional pain so much that it's hard for it not to linger, or hard for you not to feel pessimism. That's normal for some people. Please don't think you're a bad person for that. Neither of us are bad. We just feel pain.

Whenever you feel like cutting, don't. Instead, call the National Self-injury Hotline at 1-800-DONT-CUT (1-800-366-8288). They can talk you through it.

I strongly suggest you incorporate things into your daily life that soothe you emotionally. I do many things myself. I'm a religious person, so I read my scriptures. I sing every day. I also meditate every day. I really suggest you meditate yourself. Listen to relaxing music and repeat comforting phrases to yourself, such as, "I love myself" or "I am a good person." (Believe that you are a good person, because I do. :-) ) Not only the things I do every day, I also needlepoint sometimes, play games that inspire fun and relaxation, and I get a monthly massage. Please, please don't believe that you don't deserve some time for yourself. I've found that in this fast-paced world, we're meant to believe that taking time off and doing something like playing a game or getting a massage is a luxury and/or lazy, but for people like you and me, it's not. That's simply wrong. Take care of yourself. You deserve that. You don't deserve to be physically hurt, by you or by anyone else. Take care of yourself.

I don't want you to cut anymore, just like I never want to cut anymore. I know we're strangers, but if you need someone who understands, I'm here. Just give me a private message or anything. Much love. :-)
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I do think it is possible for you to be addicted to pain and I think that might be why you're having a hard time quitting this. I want you to know something important: when you start a habit, it takes one month to establish it, but it takes three months to break it. If you're already at the point where you haven't cut yourself in a month, GOOD FOR YOU!!! It is hard to even get to that point. If you can hold on for two more months (and since you've already done one month, two more is gonna be just fine for you) then you will break free of this forever. Does that sound like a good plan? I bet you can do it! Keep us posted okay?
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It feels like im slowly going insane. I dont even know if i can keep going for even another week. Everything is going down hill. Its so frustrating. I stayed up all night with my friend because i was thinking about cheating. its like a monster that is trying to rip apart my life. I cant let my mom know that im still having trouble fighting it off because she believes that I can stop on my own. I'm scared I will screw up and then I will let down everyone who helped me. I wish this nightmare would just go away.
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Have you tried calling the hotline I told you about? Do it. It'll help you. Since it's toll free, your parents shouldn't know you made the call, so don't worry about that. Talk to them; they can help you.
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empty_mirror wrote:

It feels like im slowly going insane. I dont even know if i can keep going for even another week. Everything is going down hill. Its so frustrating. I stayed up all night with my friend because i was thinking about cheating. its like a monster that is trying to rip apart my life. I cant let my mom know that im still having trouble fighting it off because she believes that I can stop on my own. I'm scared I will screw up and then I will let down everyone who helped me. I wish this nightmare would just go away.



I know that you're probably very very frustrated but you CAN makie it but please tell your mom about it okay? She will be there to support you. You need other people to help you, and people will be SO happy to help. Please do not be afraid to tell her.

Also, let me tell you. If you're going insane, you won't notice. You just FEEL like you're going insane. But please reach out to people for help okay? HOw are you doing?
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I feel like c**p. If I tell her she will be dieappointed. She is one of those lets shove it under the carpet and forget it ever happened type of people. I cant add more stress to her load. I cant tell many people because they might throw it back in my face. I'm supposed to be invincable. If you asked my mom she would say nothing fazes me. I cant let her down. I feel worse because the person who said they would be by my side and help me wont even talk to me. I feel like such a burden to everyone. Nothing i do is ever right and If I talk I am scared that they might leave me too. If they dont leave how do I know they wont hurt me? I have already been hurt enough. I'm just scared of the world. Im scared of myself too.
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I'm currently in this same boat. Hence why I found this. My mom is the same type, tho she is in part why I even started, and have been a cutter for 3 years. But sometimes talking to a close friend who you trust can help.
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