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Hello friends
I have a problem for which I have been searching solution since last many days. My fiancé is suffering from bipolar depression. He has been in this condition for last 3-4 years I suppose. I met him in september2006. He used to drink, smoke and take sleeping pills to have some sleep. I met him and I fell in love with him. I was aware that he has suffered from some emotional trauma which has made him use all such things. I gave him love and supported him In every possible way. He told me everything about his family background and what all things happened to him. He belongs to a very renowned family but his uncle deceived his father and took over their factory illegally. After that they themselves established another factory but due to his x-gf, he lost everything they earned. They had to leave their place and run from there to save their lives. Now when he met me, he was all broken with the guilt of ruining the business and rendering his family astray. Also there were bruises of the past events and particularly of his x-gf. The anger kept on mounting over him because of all such conditions and as he was unable to do anything about it, this anger turned to his frustration and now depression.

I n the beginning, everything was fine but as the time passed by I slowly came to know of his depression and things have gone from bad to worse. He can’t tolerate even a small mistake of mine. He starts abusing me and not only me, everyone who tries to talk to him when he is angry. He harms himself even. He cries after he abuses me and always says that he can’t control himself when he gets angry. He cares for me a lot but when he gets angry, he wishes for my death. He wishes that someone rapes me. There is no reason for his anger and he doesn’t remember what he is talking and to whom he is talking. He has not been working for past 3 years now. This has worsened his financial situation because of which he became more depressed.
I have been trying to cope up with the situation and patiently handling the situation but now even my patience has given up. I too have started to abuse him and shout at him. I too have started to harm myself and I have started drinking to get over my pain. But I love him a lot and wish to be with him. We are in a long distance relationship. What else can I do to ease him? Also how can I control my own anger. I have asked him to engage himself in painting or drawing or listening to music but he is even unable to do so. He doesn’t feel like taking a bath and it sometimes happen that he doesn’t even bathe for a month. He was a theist previously but now he takes no interest in prayers or worship. He suffers from mood swings and behaves terribly when he is angry. When his fitt of anger is over, he cries like a baby. I do know how to treat him or how to control my own anger.
Please help.
Regards
fugitive

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Any Update?
I also wanna know to deal with such situation.
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Me too !
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Unman. Yea yea.
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Hi as you have said it sounds like he has bipolar disorder. I would recommend he goes to a psychiatrist and a therapist to deal with his anger issues. He may need medication to control his mood swings. He may need an antipsychotic and/or mood stabilizer. Be careful though many of these medications are known to cause weight gain. I would have him talk to his doctor about which medications are weight neutral and that he can try. Do your research thoroughly on all the side effects of the medication and know that even weight neutral medications can cause weight gain. If he goes on any medication if he wants to maintain his weight he needs to reduce his caloric intake and exercise regularly. Exercise may help with the anger as well. Also make sure he absolutely does not take risperidone including both the name brand and generic not only does it cause major weight gain but it can also cause males to develop breasts. As far as your having anger issues I recommend meditation and the ideas you had about drawing/painting/listening to music for him may help your anger as well. You may also want to try positive affirmations and hypnosis to deal with your anger. Of course you can always seek out a therapist as well. Make sure it is someone who truly listens to you and is concerned about your situation. Some therapists are just not empathetic and don't help to make the situation better. It sounds like you two could use a relationship counselor as well. Also it sounds like he is dissociating because he doesn't remember things he does/says when he is angry I would have him talk to a doctor about this if he decides to get one. Also alcohol while it temporarily relieves the pain of the situation will only make the situation worse. If you need help I recommend treatment. If your fiancé does not want to see a psychiatrist I recommend that he at least tries lithium orotate after clearing it with his regular doctor. It is a natural supplement that can be used to treat bipolar disorder although I am not sure how well it works at managing the anger/mood swings. Also Omega 3s are important supplements to take for people with bipolar disorder. Best of luck to you...you are in my prayers.
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