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I have been married for 12 years and have two great kids and a good relationship with my family. My problem is my husband…well he doesn't do household chores, unless he feels like it. He likes to spend money, two cars…but what’s not acceptable is his anger. I've been the subject of verbal abuse, spitting, choking and cursing, so I decide to get separated. He hit me once and was arrested and charged. I can't take his anger and this fear any more. He is always angry.

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Your husband has obviously made some mistaken ideas about what is acceptable behavior at home. First you need to talk to your husband and find out what his concerns are. It’s time for you and your husband to sit down and talk, nice calmly and kindly. Why don’t you tell him what you like about the changes he has made in his behavior and ask him what it would take on your part to consistently bring out the best in him? Anyway…I think I will live the man who is always angry.
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Mine too. I'm numb. Unable to be decent mother, friend, sister..... what the hell do you do?
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my husband is also very angry, he gets mad over the littlest things, i'm so tired of waking up and being afraid of what's going to piss him off today, if anyone has any advice i would gladly appreciate it because i don't know what to do. thank you.
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I too am going through the same thing 12 yrs of marriage and 2 kids. Filing for the divorce was the hardest thing to do, but what I come to learn through all this is that it is him not me. The men in your life obviously have an anger problem that won't get resolved unless they get help professionally. My experience iwith my husband is that he is physically and mentally abusive. I literally had to walk on eggshells to prevent him from getting angry. My advice to you ladies is to NOT take this abuse, it will get worse I know I stayed for 12 years. Now my children too have to pay the price for his inconsiderate behavior.
Good Luck!
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my husband finds everything offensive for him everybody is trying to be better than him or evrybody is trying to harm him or every body is trying to give him false information my husband is wiered 8-| 8-| 8-| 8-| also he says that me and him are stresserd out he tells me to find a friend to talk to i do now he gets upset
because we get invited to do cook outs now he says i want us to be alone
i dont want them to go with us now we fight and my 4 children are hearing us fight. he is a very hard person to talk to help please :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(
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My husband never smiles at me. He is always angry at me and my daughter. I wake every morning hoping and praying that "today" will be a good day, but something will always set him off. And of course its always something "I" did, or didn't do, something I said or didn't say etc. Its always my fault. I been trying to be strong but I feel weak and so tiered already. I don't want to get separated, but I feel that's where this is going. I cant keep my husband happy and its making me SO unhappy. I find myself crying ALL the time, a lot of times, he doesn't even know i'm crying, I hide it and pretend to be asleep (he falls asleep first) and when he does see me or hear me, he doesn't care to comfort me like he use to. I don't know what I am doing wrong? Everywhere we go I see happy couples and keep wishing I had a partner like that. He says he give me everything, a nice big house, a luxury car, designer bags/shoes etc. but I would give it all up for a lovable husband. Paying for my fancy things doesn't prove anything, just control. All this hurt I have built up inside is killing me, I am starting to feel lots of anger and that really scares me. You know what hurts the most, when he mistreats or talks harshly to my daughter. I can take the mean words, but not her, Shes small and sensitive. She fears him so much and like me, she is always worried the "papi" is going to be mad or will get mad. She is not living a childhood, he is forcing her to grow up and be on her own and be super clean and neat. I use to run barefoot through mud puddles and then inside the house and my dad would laugh and hug me, mom would clean the mess. I wish she had "my" childhood. This is killing me so so bad. I just don't know what to do, I have nothing and I cant go to my parents. They "think" he is a good man and he makes me happy. :'( I am the saddest and most depressed girl
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Ladies. I am a husband who is finding himself angry more often than I like. I'm finding the littlest thing is settin me of. I take it out on my wife and kids. Here's the thing you might not realize. Each time I do i break inside. It hurts me and I don't forgive myself.

There are several things happening. As I said, I'm starting too see this and it's becoming too often. I'm recognizing it and want to stop. I've come to realize what the problem is. I'm not happy with myself and how I turned out in life.

This attitude it no reflection of anyone else around me. I am dissatisfied with where i am in life career-wise and also what I believe is ahead for me. It's very sad and at times feels like it's without hope. No one can change this view but myself and right now I'm struggling with it. I've tried to talk to my wife about it but there are no answers. I need to make a change or it will continue.

Just remember he is hurting inside too probably. You just need to find a way to get to the root of the problem. Recognize it and then you can tackle it and change it. I'm sorry for each of you that have to put up with this behavior. Think about it. No one likes to be mean. I know this because I hate it myself. I'm not mean, but I know I say mean stuff at times. I have to live with that and that is the hard part. I think you're guys are hurting inside too and don't mean to be as bad. I think a lot of them are like me. Very sorry for what they do but don't know how to change it.

I know this IS the problem for me. I hope you all well.
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I to am a Husband, Father and son. I have in the last 2 years changed somewhat and I don't like it. I have been on anti depressants for the last 12 months and they seemed to help a little. But the problem is that I am easily stressed, the smallest thing will set me off. I have never hit my wife or children but I have yelled and I think that is just as bad. It saddens me that I am like this and I wish I was the person that she married 13 years ago, but I am not. I do want to change and at times I try really hard but something always happens and then snap I am back to my old self. I don't like who I have become and I want to be "me" again. A person who everybody got along with and there were no secrets. Now I feel like I am the monster and all my friends who know me think I am too. I am crying as I write this as I am at a lost as to what to do. I am no longer on the anti depressants and stopped them about 1 month ago. I was great for a while but we are in the process of moving house and changing career and everything is at a head. I got angry with my wife this morning over the silliest little thing and told her that I am going out and prob wont come back. I came back. I know this upsets her and I hate myself later for saying it but it just comes out...it's like I blame her and the kids for who I am...but I know that if I left her I would be sad??? This is not the answer to my problems. I must work through it and try harder. To all the ladies reading this I apologies on behalf of the angry hubby's. It is a circle that goes around and around and us hubby's have to break that circle. I am going to try harder to not be angry.....
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I've been married for ten years. We have three beautiful children. He is a good provider, honest, and faithful. His parents live with us which is a good thing, because I'm always on my best behavior and they are wonderful people. What is bad is his temper. The other day, I made fried chicken that he didn't like that made him flare and yell at me like a bat out of hell. What is sad is he also yells at our children. He is an angry person, and he thinks its okay. He is one of most temperamental people i know.
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sounds like me I have been with my husband 10 yrs and yesterday i finally told him to leave. Mine is also great guy and hardworking to outside people. But in the home he is different. I feel I have to watch what I say or do if not he has an opinion or I am against him. Children are afraid of him. He has a bad temper and is always angry. It is hard to socialize with him he has no patience
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It is unacceptable... I think he just brings all negative thoughts and mood into the house. Probably, he has some problems at work or with collegues or... i don't know! And he tries to blame you in everything!
Talk to him about it!
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I have been married to an angry husband for 35 years. It has been a living hell. I didn't live near my parents when I was younger so I had no where to run to and once I did pack up and leave and my mother sent me back. He is like a time bomb. Never know what is going to tick him off. He talks bad about everyone. I do all the work around the house, pay the bills, shop, hold a full time job. He works but when he comes home and on weekends, all he does is watch TV. The house could fall down around him and he wouldn't get off the couch. He doesn't even file the income tax, I have to do it. He says."Let them arrest me." That is his way out and of course I end up doing it like everything else, alone. If you have a chance to get out, leave. It doesn't get better. If my kids come to visit and he starts in, they walk out of the house and leave. So who suffers, me. I don't get to see my kids. Many times I say I've had it. I wish there was a place that I could go to and stay and file for a divorce. I can't afford an apartment plus keep up my house. I have asked him to leave and he just gets angrier. To any one out their with help and support. Go, keep running and never look back. :-(
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Dear, I'll just tell u a true story of a woman that has survived her 30 years marriage with an angry husband happily, her husband's love grows for her more & more by time to the extent that he cannot stand it when she's not around for a while....so it was time to know from her the secret for this successful marriage...she simply replied that "A woman's success is in her mind", she said that whenever they talk & he starts to get angry, she just keeps silent & listens till he finishes all his violence & insult, as she never leaves the room while he's speaking so he won't think that she doesn't care to listen or she's fed up with him, when he's done she simply asks him "Are u done??" & then leaves the room & goes to do whatever like housekeeping, play with her children, watch TV, etc...then she returns back to him after preparing a cup of coffee(as he really needs it after all the effort he exerted during shouting) after about 2 hours so he would've calmed down (as giving the quarrel more time than that ,a week for example would make him get used to it & maybe it turns him to give it another week, so she has to surround him with her love & care always)...Here comes his reaction to her considerate deed by being so nice & appreciative to her & telling her all nice stuff...The only question was HOW COME U INDURED ALL HIS INSULT WHEN HE WAS ANGRY?, she said that never take what people say when they're angry , just take what's said when they're calm & can balance their thoughts...never to think about your dignity infront of angry people...so that how a smart wife can handle an angry husband, she's just there for him even when his insulting her...her sweetness would stop him being that bad..wish u all the best
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Your husband is bi-polar I went through the same thing. I finally figured it out when i kept reading online. The next time he was mean I left for two days . Then when he was begging for me to come back, I told him he would have to see a pscy, so they put him on seroquel, and he is so wonderful. It takes about three weeks, to kick in. Yeh it is a lot for visit but it will be the best money spent. Try to go to a doctor that has samples so u dont have to pay for meds. If you do decied u need to make sure he is taking his meds everyday!!! This is key, trust me it will work!
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